In the quiet moments of life, before the inevitable storms hit, lies a golden opportunity to fortify your family’s resilience. It’s during these calm days that we can build a strong and united front, ensuring that when challenges arise, we are ready to face them together. Let’s explore practical ways to strengthen your family’s bond and prepare you for whatever life brings your way!
Resiliency is “an ability to recover from or adjust easily to adversity or change.” It is an ability that we all can develop. Here are some practical tips to consider:
Communication
This may sound scary or complicated, but we can start with simple steps that help us become aware of how we communicate in different situations.
When was the last time you had a conversation with your spouse, children, or coworker about an important memory from your or their childhood or youth? If you’ve had one recently, great!
But you may not remember the last time you had a conversation like this, and you’re not alone.
When working with family, we can easily fill “family time” with discussions about the farm operation, and although these discussions are important, they do not need to occur at birthday celebrations or at dinner time.
Operational conversations should be held, as much as possible, in designated spaces and during specific times, separate from “family time” and away from family spaces. These conversations should be held where you can write down tasks on a whiteboard or make notes for the team to be accountable for the tasks they need to complete.
By creating specific times for operational meetings, you can save space to celebrate and communicate about other important aspects of life beyond the farm, becoming more intentional in the process. This intentional approach will enable you to foster more profound understanding and connection among the family and farm team.
Although we may think we know each other because we are family, as humans, we change and grow throughout our entire lives. Cohesion means being aware of each other without assuming we know each other.
I invite you to choose a lovely afternoon to invite your farm team to enjoy a light snack or s’mores around a bonfire or fireplace, and ask them to share their favorite childhood game or memory. These conversations build connection and convey the message, “I care about you and the things that are meaningful to you,” and “I can trust you while I am sharing this story with you.”
Good communication skills start with being able to listen to someone else’s story and really care about what they are sharing. Remember, we listen to understand, not to respond.
Trust
My good friend and colleague, Sidney Morgan, created a helpful framework called the “Four Pillars of Trust.” This framework breaks down the complex concept of trust into four distinct pillars. One of those pillars is the pillar of respect.
Morgan explains respect as the union of “re,” meaning again, and “spect,” meaning spectacles, which translates to “to see again through different spectacles.“
This means that trust develops when we cultivate the ability to see things from different perspectives and acknowledge that when we share our thoughts and opinions, we are doing so from a limited point of view.
I invite you to do an experiment. Tomorrow, pause your response for a minute when you have a conversation with your spouse, mom, dad, daughter, or son, and ask them, “Could you explain more about why you think that way?” Then ask, “Would you like to hear my point of view?”
Habits
Habits are actions and thoughts we repeat constantly – so much so that they become “invisible” to us. We assume things should be that way, and the habits eventually become blinders – limiting our awareness to what is really happening in our surroundings.
Rethinking habits enables us to embark on a journey to become self-aware, which means sitting down with ourselves and reflecting healthily on the habits we have while engaging with our families and farm teams.
In calm moments, take time to reflect on the ways you are making decisions on the farm, the quality of the relationships you have with your family, or plan strategies to start a conversation on strategic topics like farm transition.
I encourage you to develop skills that enhance your flexibility, awareness, and ability to observe with depth. Families that work together and strengthen their relationships will build resilience in how they respond to the various challenges encountered each and every day.
Did you enjoy Prepare Your Family for the Storm: Strengthening Resilience in Peaceful Times? You might want to check these articles out, too:
Rest on the Farm
The Importance of Learning to Communicate on the Farm
The Importance of Connecting with Family & Friends
