Loneliness on the farm is a big deal. As a northern Great Plains prairie farmer, I am interested in the history of prairie settlement. Part of that history is one of profound loneliness.

Now, in 2026, we have good roads (for the most part), vehicles that can traverse 100s and 1000s of kms, jet fuel and relatively affordable airfare, and technological connectivity that our ancestors could not have imagined.

While many of us still live miles from our nearest neighbor, experience difficult climatic conditions like cold winters in my part of Canada, we have good housing options, insulation, and heat. Winter no longer forces total isolation by creating impassable landscapes; yes, we do get storms where I have to stockpile coffee cream, but that is a measure of degree less serious than having to be totally self-sufficient in some of the most difficult climates/conditions.

Despite these rapid changes and advancements, farming and ranching still remain a relatively solitary profession. Social and emotional loneliness, caused by not having enough meaningful relationships or not having someone you can talk to about the difficult things, as well as advancing cultural loneliness due to feeling poorly understood or underappreciated as farmers and ranchers, are things to be aware of:

In 2019, Elaine wrote a blog on how to combat loneliness on the farm. This is such an important topic, and in today’s blog, we are revisiting some of those tips:

• Barter time with your neighbours. When my son was in preschool, I had every Tuesday for errands, writing, and doing my projects while he played at his friend’s house in town. On Thursdays, the reverse happened, and his friend came to the farm. This sharing of care helped two moms build some reliable space for our priorities beyond childcare. If you are a long distance from other young moms, perhaps there is a granny my age who is willing to pitch in. You need to be courageous and ask for help.
• Pick up the phone. Use your smartphone as a device to call a friend, not text! Adult interaction is a great gift when you haven’t had an adult conversation in days. Applications such as FaceTime, WhatsApp, or Zoom can make this a video call. Male farmers need this too, as their emotional support networks die from lack of attention. Everyone benefits when relationships stay connected.
• Send cards of encouragement. Mark Twain said, “A person can live on a good compliment for over three months.” Don’t worry about picking out a perfect Hallmark card; you don’t have time for that, but do spend time writing out why you love your spouse and seal the letter with a kiss. If your love language is “words of affirmation,” you will love cards. If your encouragement is having your spouse clean out the pickup truck, then make that a fun project with the kids’ help.
• Unplug from social media. You will not die if your phone is left behind in the house for two hours. Being on Instagram, TikTok, or Facebook feeds and comparing your farm life in seeding and harvest with the folks having fun on weekends is a joy stealer. Use your social media to reach out to other parents and get together for simple pleasures like wiener roasts, time at the lake, or supper on your pickup tailgate. Bring along a batch of homemade playdough. Plan to gather face-to-face.
• Go solo if you have to. Where is it written that you are a horrible spouse if you go to a concert or on a trip by yourself? This may be very controversial for marriages that are highly enmeshed, but enjoying things or seeing new places when your spouse just wants to re-energize with alone time is not bad. It can also be very beneficial to experience a new place or culture so you can see life beyond the farm. If your spouse refuses to leave the farm for playtime or holidays, you can choose a sister, friend, or cousin to travel with you.
• Break bread together. Having folks at my table is the best way to conquer “sorry me” feelings. When you reach out to others to invite them to share supper, you can have long, uninterrupted conversations while the kids have fun playing with Lego, or you can choose to share the conversation with all generations. Go to a potluck if you are feeling overwhelmed!

Let us know what you are doing to let go of loneliness on your farm.

Did you enjoy Loneliness on the Farm? You might want to check these articles out, too:

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