Hello, everyone! This is Crisol Gonzalez and I’m back again with some thoughts to chew over. Today, I want to talk about a statement I often hear: “Talking about emotions will make you a bad decision maker.” Whenever I ask why people believe this, they usually say, “If you base your decisions on emotions, you won’t think logically, and everything will fall apart.”

I get that concern, but I see it differently. I like to think of emotions as the control panel on your tractor. If you’ve ever watched the movie Inside Out™, it does a great job of showing how emotions work as our personal control system.

Now, think about how you read the gauges, lights, and sounds on your tractor, combine, or the controls in your milking parlor. You’ve probably spent years getting good at understanding your machinery, investing time and energy to learn how to use these tools effectively. And you take pride in that, right? Well, that’s exactly how emotions work in our lives. We humans are built in a complex and amazing way, and our emotions are like the lights and alarms that guide us through daily life, whether it’s with family, friends, or coworkers.

Our bodies are constantly reading signals about how we relate to those around us—our spouse, kids, neighbors, farmhands, clients, veterinarians, nutritionists, and more. Learning to understand emotions is like learning to read the warning lights on your tractor. It helps you better understand yourself and go beyond just feeling “angry” or “bad.” When you dig deeper, you can figure out what’s really going on and what you need to fix.

Maybe you’re thinking, “If I don’t pay attention to my emotions, they’ll just go away.” But that’s not true. Ignoring emotions won’t make them disappear; they’ll still be there, just under the surface, affecting how you think and act. When we don’t recognize our emotions, we end up making “rational decisions” that aren’t very rational at all. For example, maybe you start avoiding your spouse because you don’t want to discuss the new loan you had to take out for the farm. Or you grab a beer or cigarette at the end of the day to “calm your nerves.” These are unconscious ways our bodies cope when we don’t have better tools to handle stress or sadness.

One book we recommend a lot in coaching is Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life by Marshall B. Rosenberg. It explains that emotions are our body’s immediate response to life’s experiences. Think about how you reacted the first time you tasted something bitter, like an olive. That initial emotion of disgust is an automatic response. But once you attach a thought to that emotion, it becomes a feeling.

For example, picture the last time your grandkid handed you a drawing they made just for you. Your initial emotional response might have been a smile and feeling happy. But when you add the thought of how that little person took the time to make something special for you, it deepens into feelings of love and appreciation. That thought can even create a physical reaction—you might feel warm inside, relaxed, or energized. These reactions happen in our bodies all the time. It’s proof that emotions use energy, which is why you might feel exhausted after a stressful day, a close call, or attending a funeral.

Since emotions are a natural part of life, how do we embrace them and use them wisely?

Karla McLaren, in her book Embracing Anxiety: How to Access the Genius of This Vital Emotion, talks about emotions being a “vital aspect of everything we do—thinking, deciding, relating, acting, loving, and healing.” She explains four key points for mastering emotions:

1. There are no negative or positive emotions. We often learn in our families what emotions are “good” or “bad.” Some people grow up believing that crying is a sign of weakness, and the only acceptable emotion is anger. So instead of feeling sad, they express frustration because it’s what they were taught. Emotions are neither good nor bad; they’re just signals, like a light on your tractor’s dashboard. I encourage you to look up the “Wheel of Emotions” or download the Wheel of Feels app. It can help you identify a wider range of emotions, beyond just the ones you’re used to showing.
2. Emotions come in different levels of intensity, and having the right vocabulary is key. McLaren refers to research by Lisa Feldman Barrett, which shows that the more specific you can be in naming your emotions, the better you can manage them. Being able to precisely name how you’re feeling—whether it’s “irritated,” “frustrated,” or “enraged”—helps you regulate your body’s response and organize your thoughts. Think of it as diagnosing a problem with your equipment. The more specific you are, the quicker you can fix it.
3. Emotions often come in clusters. You’ve probably had moments where you weren’t sure what you were feeling. Maybe you just ignored it, but McLaren says that’s normal—sometimes emotions come in groups. For example, when your child or grandchild got married, you might have felt both happy and sad at the same time. It’s common to experience mixed emotions, and recognizing this can help you see the value each emotion brings to your life.
4. Learn to channel your emotions in a healthy way. We often develop coping mechanisms to avoid dealing with what’s really bothering us. McLaren suggests seeing emotions as useful information. For instance, if you feel angry, ask yourself what action or situation triggered it. Once you understand that, you can talk to others about what’s upsetting you and ask for what you need. This helps you set boundaries and communicate more effectively, both in the barn and at home.

As we move through this month, I hope you take some time to work on your emotional “control panel.” Start by expressing emotions like gratitude, happiness, and love. Pay attention to how these emotions feel in your body, and practice sharing what brings them out in you. Your emotions, like your tractor’s gauges, are there to guide you—don’t ignore them.

– Crisol Gonzalez

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