In this episode, my guest is a teammate, conflict transformation facilitator, organization transition coach, and dairy farm partner from Chihuahua, Mexico, Crisol Gonzalez. Tune in to hear our discussion on how being aware of and taking personal responsibility for your role in conflict is crucial for success.

We explore what the Karpman Drama Triangle has to do with dysfunctional dynamics to bring awareness to what roles you and your farm family members may be playing to contribute to conflict. Additionally, we discuss the work of Dr. Marshall Rosenberg and nonviolent communication, the difference between an emotion and a feeling, and a range of useful tools for conflict resolution.

When we mentioned the Karpman Drama Triangle in our membership coaching site it struck a deep chord with many of our members. Do some reflection today on your farm’s culture and how you would like to improve it.

“And what you want [to happen] in your farm family needs to not always be that you’re pointing out the bad things, but are actually doing the good things that you want. Then, the family culture starts moving in a better direction. And the people who don’t want to go in that direction are going to notice and ask “Do I want to join them?”, or “What is the other option?”. And I think that is a very important thing also – to be aware that in families you CAN change the culture, even if things have always been done in a specific way.” – Crisol Gonzalez

Mentioned During This Episode:

Books

• Return To Center: Simple Strategies to Navigate Distress, Depression, and Disconnection – by Patricia Morgan
• Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life: Life-Changing Tools for Healthy Relationships – by Dr Marshall Rosenberg

Concepts 

• Karpman Drama Triangle
• Nonviolent Communication
• Designing Conversations Guide
• Drama Triangle-Conscious Leadership

People

• Dr. Stephen B. Karpman: Psychiatrist and Author
• Dr. Marshall Rosenberg: Ph.D.
• Patricia Morgan: Speaker, Author, and Clinical Therapist 
• Brene Brown: American Academic and Podcaster
• Marsha Harris: Marriage and Family Therapist

Podcast Episodes

• Farm Family Harmony Podcast (Ep 30) / Getting A Voice To Your Needs with Patrica Morgan

Blog Posts

• The Power Of A Letter To Get Unstuck: By Elaine Froese

Other

• Movie: Inside Out (2015)
• Conflict Dynamics Profile

Elaine Froese Resources & Links

• SPEAKING – book Elaine for your next event
• COACHING – find your Farm Transition Coach
• MEMBERSHIP – become at Farm Family Harmony Member
• RESOURCES – download for FREE  
• CONTACT – take the next steps in your transition

About Our Guest

BIO PIC

Chihuahua, Mexico. She strives to facilitate life-changing conversations that serve as inspiration to embrace the next steps for a farm family business. Her life experiences interacting with diverse cultures allow her to understand and work with the challenges that diversity of age, culture, and language bring to any farm or ranch.

• Coaching Profile
• LinkedIn

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Timestamps

[0:00:30] Introduction Crisol Gonzalez

[0:01:18] Karpman Drama Triangle

[0:04:23] Who in your farm family is playing the ‘victim’ role?

[0:06:15] Why the ‘villain’ gets nothing accomplished in family meetings

[0:07:37] How to get everyone to the table

[0:08:27] Women are tired of being the mediator in the middle

[0:10:55] Getting triggered quickly

[0:11:13] Dr. Marshall Rosenberg and nonviolent communication

[0:11:47] Crisol’s work in the local school system

[0:12:36] The difference between an ‘emotion’ and ‘feeling’

[0:15:45] The Conflict Dynamics Profile

[0:17:50] Writing it out before talking is a powerful tool

[0:21:59] Using voice notes if you don’t like to write

[0:22:55] Asking permission before offering feedback

[0:25:03] Conflict Basics 101 and dysfunctional dynamics

[0:28:30] Having each other’s back

 [0:29:36] Are farm women getting what they need?

[0:30:34] The Farm Family Transition Membership and breakout rooms