{"id":977,"date":"2015-11-03T14:00:08","date_gmt":"2015-11-03T14:00:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/blog\/?p=977"},"modified":"2015-11-03T14:00:08","modified_gmt":"2015-11-03T14:00:08","slug":"the-importance-of-taking-time-with-friends-and-community","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2015\/11\/03\/the-importance-of-taking-time-with-friends-and-community\/","title":{"rendered":"The Importance of Taking Time with Friends and Community"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Taking<\/a><\/p>\n

I hope that you\u2019ve carved out some time for visiting, camping and fishing. We all are busy farmers, but deep down there is a longing that I see for folks hoping to have a deeper sense of connection.<\/p>\n

When we find ourselves in the midst of hectic lives on farms, sometimes it\u2019s difficult to find time to connect with friends and community. If we aren\u2019t careful to nurture our relationships with others, we may find ourselves isolated, with only the support of our immediate family. Social and emotional support networks are important, particularly on farms. Friends and community are not just a nice bonus for farm families; they are essential<\/strong>. They serve several important roles. Friends are great for fun, relaxation, renewal, and leisure activities. They provide an excuse for much-needed breaks from farm labour. More than just a good laugh, we can share joys and frustrations with them. They are good for our sense of well-being and our frame of mind.<\/p>\n

When we need insights, friends can give us an outside perspective of what is happening in our lives and our farms. They can act as our sounding board. Watching our friends\u2019 lives unfold helps us to see other examples of families, marriages, parenting, and farm activities. Good friends can give both positive feedback and constructive criticism when we can\u2019t see the situation clearly ourselves.<\/p>\n

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Megan\u2019s Story: <\/strong><\/p>\n

“One time I had a wise friend tell me that my then boyfriend wasn\u2019t treating me well enough. In the midst of the situation I was in, I couldn\u2019t see that for myself. I am forever grateful that he did that for me. I once told that friend that I was concerned about his mental health. It was one of the most difficult things I ever did, but I did it with love because I was sincerely concerned about him.”<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

What happens if you become socially isolated?<\/em><\/h2>\n

If people become socially isolated, they may lose a sense of what the range of \u201cnormal\u201d looks like. Their world may become so small they are unable to see the possibilities that exist or, on the other hand, they may think their untenable situation is \u201cnormal.\u201d In several of the most conflicted farm families we have worked with, these off-farm relationships have been severed over time, and the families are left in isolation to sort through the troubles.<\/p>\n

Community relationships can reassure us we\u2019re not alone, and people care about us. They can help hold us up, both emotionally and in practical ways, when life\u2019s storms hit.\u00a0\u00a0 In community, the celebrations in life are sweeter and the tragedies more bearable. \u201cBy reaching out to others and taking advantage of their support and friendship, you can gain strength to deal with your problems and an ability to take control of your situation.\u201d (Danes 2010)<\/p>\n

Social time and being connected to community or to the family of origin can be a daughter-in-law (DIL) or others on the farm team. Sometimes the demanding nature of farming can make it difficult for a DIL to leave to be with her family. \u201cThe farming operations and related livestock and crop responsibilities made it dif\ufb01cult to visit extended family members who resided outside of the geographical area, which was particularly the case for extended maternal family members. Some farm women expressed sadness in their inability to travel great distances to see extended family members.\u201d (Shaw 2009, 443) It\u2019s important that the rest of the farm team ensures that this visiting can happen without it being a huge burden for the DIL.<\/p>\n

Questions for reflection:<\/h2>\n