{"id":9705,"date":"2024-07-04T15:05:48","date_gmt":"2024-07-04T19:05:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/?p=9705"},"modified":"2024-07-04T15:12:51","modified_gmt":"2024-07-04T19:12:51","slug":"great-questions-to-uncover-inheritance-expectations","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2024\/07\/04\/great-questions-to-uncover-inheritance-expectations\/","title":{"rendered":"Great Questions to Uncover Inheritance Expectations"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>[et_pb_section fb_built=&#8221;1&#8243; admin_label=&#8221;section&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.24.2&#8243; collapsed=&#8221;off&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_row admin_label=&#8221;row&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.24.2&#8243; background_size=&#8221;initial&#8221; background_position=&#8221;top_left&#8221; background_repeat=&#8221;repeat&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;||1px|||&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;4_4&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; custom_padding=&#8221;|||&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; custom_padding__hover=&#8221;|||&#8221;][et_pb_text admin_label=&#8221;Text&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.24.2&#8243; background_size=&#8221;initial&#8221; background_position=&#8221;top_left&#8221; background_repeat=&#8221;repeat&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;]<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"YouTube video player\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/8nygbzWcXME?si=hVBQKADmBffTNaM4\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">One of the key fears of aging farm founders is the conflict they anticipate when the farming heir has access to millions of dollars of land, and the siblings who are off to other careers do not have the same net worth opportunity in their future. Or do they?<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">Firstly, where it is written it is your job as parents to make all of your children economically equal?<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>It\u2019s a tough mindset to process. You want all your heirs to be well taken care of, but it gets really complicated when your main desire is to keep a profitable farm intact.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">I have seen success with this dilemma when progressive farmers are willing to use corporate insurance tools to cascade wealth to the non-farm heirs. If you want to learn more, please reach out to <a href=\"http:\/\/www.33seven.ca\"><span class=\"s1\">www.33seven.ca<\/span><\/a> . Derryn Shrosbee and Martin Hutnik are willing to work with your lawyers and accountants to execute innovative tools to help wealth flow to all your heirs.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">What if you already have given lots of money to the non-farm kids?<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Education, down payments for homes, vehicles, trips. etc. Some parents find their children make unwise choices and money seems to keep flowing away rather than growing. In this case you may consider the residue of your estate as what that child will inherit, and with poor choices come poor outcomes. Most parents don\u2019t want their heirs to suffer bad outcomes, so this is great motivation to engage a financial planner for them and for yourself while you have the capacity to plan, build wealth, and find accountability partners who care about your financial success.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">We have a beneficiary who was very happy to meet her financial trustee, the person who will help guide her with her inheritance when we are deceased. This decreased a lot of anxiety and stress over the uncertainty of her future.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">I have met farm kids who just want their farm parents to enjoy a good life now and enjoy the fruit of many decades of hard work on the farm. They tell me they \u201cexpect nothing\u201d and are doing fine on their own. They just want their parents to have a good life now !<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>What if you have kids who think like this, but you have no idea what they expect about their farm parents\u2019 inheritance? Also keep in mind there are many non-farm heirs who are already wealthier than their parents.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">I am not an estate specialist or life insurance expert. I am a coach who wants farm families to be clear about all the expectations of the farm business and wealth transfer that happens with transition.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">A big fear for<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>non-farm siblings is the farming heir will only farm for a few years, and then cash out the land in 5 or 10 years to claim all the gold. Mona Brown, an ag-informed lawyer in Manitoba uses the term \u201cpoison pill\u201d to describe legal avenues to protect cashing out of farmland happening, with safeguards to pro-rate funds back to the family.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><strong>Asking powerful questions is key to clarifying everyone\u2019s expectations.<\/strong><\/p>\n<ol class=\"ol1\">\n<li class=\"li1\">What does fairness with the transfer of wealth in our family look like to you?<\/li>\n<li class=\"li1\">What do you need to be successful? Have you considered the gifts we have already given?<\/li>\n<li class=\"li1\">Can you describe to me what money means to you? (Read Bruce Sellery\u2019s book \u201cMoolala, why smart people do dumb things with their money.)<\/li>\n<li class=\"li1\">What are you afraid of after we die?<\/li>\n<li class=\"li1\">What do you want your ongoing relationship to the farm home to be once we no longer live here?<\/li>\n<li class=\"li1\">Are there financial gifts we could facilitate with a warm hand that would be helpful to you now?<\/li>\n<li class=\"li1\">What kinds of things can we do as grandparents to be a financial blessing to the grandchildren?<\/li>\n<li class=\"li1\">What can we communicate more clearly to you to give you more financial transparency about our personal wealth and the farm business? Are you willing to keep this confidential?<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p class=\"p1\">My friend Jessica Groskopf, a University of Nebraska economist asks these questions:<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><b>Questions for off-farm heirs<\/b>:<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">-How, if at all, do you expect to be involved in the farm business?<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">-When will that involvement begin?<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">-How does this fit with your current off farm lifestyle?<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">-Do you expect to receive compensations for this involvement \u2013 is so what type? Cash, house, utilities, beef, salary, insurance, retirement plans, grain, calves, shares of entity, percent of land ownership?<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">-Do you expect to receive assets from owners either while they are living or at death?<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">-When an heir joins the operation are they expected to contribute money to the operation?<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><b>Questions for on-farm heirs:<\/b><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">-What is your current financial situation? (How much good debt can you service?)<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">-What assets or debts do you have?<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">-How much income do you need to live a \u201creasonable \u201clifestyle? (Can you share your family living expense amount?)<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">-Do you have other income sources contributing to your household, and is your spouse on the same page defining \u201creasonable\u201d lifestyle?<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">-Do you expect to be paid a salary or wage or other compensation as an on-farm heir? (YES!!)<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">-What skills, talents and abilities do you have which benefit the financial well-being of the farm?<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">-What tasks, roles and responsibilities are you taking on to generate revenue and decrease costs?<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">-Are you going to rent additional land?<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">-What \u201cside hustles\u201d or new enterprises can you add on this farm and ranch which don\u2019t conflict with the current operation?<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">-Are you ready, willing, and able to communicate your financial needs and expectations?<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">Our coaching team uses a personal profile to glean insights before we do individual or couple coaching to prepare for family meetings.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>It is helpful to see someone write<i>: I am one of four children so I expect to get \u00bc of the farm. <\/i><span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Therein lies the mindset and fear of conflict when there are unworkable expectations for inheritance, and a deep need in agriculture in 2024 to create farm financial liquidity and more personal wealth.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">Start asking powerful questions and navigating expectations now.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\" style=\"text-align: left;\"><span style=\"color: #662d91;\">***<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">Elaine Froese and her team of coaches create a safe respectful place to get clarity of expectations for fairness in farm transition. Create harmony through understanding when you <a href=\"http:\/\/www.elainefroese.com\/contact\">engage.<\/a><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #662d91;\">Did you enjoy <\/span><span style=\"color: #622181;\"><strong>Great Questions to Uncover Inheritance Expectations<\/strong><strong>?<\/strong><\/span><span style=\"color: #662d91;\"> You might want to check these articles out too:<\/span><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2024\/06\/20\/using-common-ground-to-write-agreements-you-can-understand\/\">Using Common Ground to Write Agreements You can Understand<\/a><br \/><a href=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2024\/06\/06\/who-is-responsible-for-what-on-your-farm\/\">Who is Responsible for What on Your Farm?<\/a><br \/><span style=\"color: #662d91;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2024\/05\/23\/how-to-have-the-conversation-about-prenups\/\">How to Have the Conversation About Prenups<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=&#8221;1&#8243; admin_label=&#8221;Section&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.24.2&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_row admin_label=&#8221;Row&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.24.2&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;4_4&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.6&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_image src=&#8221;https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/07\/Ultimate-Decision-Maker-1.jpg&#8221; title_text=&#8221;Ultimate Decision Maker (1)&#8221; url=&#8221;https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/Ultimate-Decision-Maker-Elaine-Froese.pdf&#8221; url_new_window=&#8221;on&#8221; admin_label=&#8221;Image&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.24.2&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][\/et_pb_image][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dig down to the roots of the key questions you will encounter regarding mindsets, fear of conflict, and unworkable expectations for inheritance.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":9724,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":"<iframe title=\"YouTube video player\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/o4K6bItAbCY\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe>\r\n\r\nHarvest is in full swing on our farm, and I am not there\u2026for a few days. Where is it written you cannot leave the farm during harvest? (Almost on every page of the unpublished book \u201cThe Culture of Agriculture.\u201d)\r\n\r\nIf you are one of the 2800 folks who have stumbled upon \u201cFinding Fairness in Farm Transition\u201d on my YouTube channel at Farm Family Coach, you already know I am on a mission to change mindsets in agriculture. Fairness is helping everyone in the family be successful.\r\n<p class=\"p1\">Enter Scott Armstrong and his new workbook: <i>Mind Switch Retirement Planner<\/i>.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\r\n<img class=\"aligncenter wp-image-6952 size-large\" src=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/Untitled-design-1024x512.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1024\" height=\"512\" \/>\r\n<p class=\"p1\">Armstrong is a speaker friend who shared his insights at a national financial planner September convention in Niagara Falls, the place I also journeyed to at the start of our September harvest. He uses the word \u201cretirement\u201d, for ag folks I prefer to use the term reinvention:<\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\"><strong>Here are some things to consider as you age on your farm or ranch:<\/strong><\/p>\r\n\r\n<ol class=\"ol1\">\r\n \t<li class=\"li1\"><b>What are the current roles you want to continue?<\/b> Which ones would you like to let go of? My farmer is coughing more after cleaning bins, and I am encouraging him to quit that task at age 65, which is now.<\/li>\r\n \t<li class=\"li1\"><b>Are you still passionate about farming?<\/b> Or just parts of it? Simon Sinek says, \u201cfulfillment comes when we live our lives on purpose\u201d. What is it you are doing on your farm where you lose all track of time? This summer I think my farmer lost track of mowing fields and ditches and waiting for the grain to ripen. I love to play with my grandkids and enjoy their giggles, stories, and curiosity. Play me with them is a sweet spot and I am intentional in making time for them. I am still passionate about helping farm families make intentional choices for a better quality of life and harmony through understanding.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\r\n \t<li class=\"li1\"><b>Do your passion and purpose align with your spouse\u2019s vision<\/b>? This is where it gets messy. You want to leave the farm life roles and responsibilities, but your partner does not. Not for a long time! Where is it written you cannot pursue some things in different time zones or days apart from your spouse?<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Independence is one of my core values, yet my husband respects what I need to fill my well, and I am happy when I return to the farm from my off-farm contracts and contacts. Love and respect for the other can go both ways.<\/li>\r\n \t<li class=\"li1\"><b>Adventure is big<\/b> on Scott Armstrong\u2019s workbook list. Farmers spend a lot of money on crop protection and other inputs. Many use the points from farm credit cards to fund short-term winter adventures. One of my clients is on a motorbike in the Maritimes as I write this. (Dairy farmer). Another farmer spends time in Mexico helping the poor build houses in the winter, and he wants to do more of this. Our adventures to visit friends in New Zealand, or travel with friends to Hawaii have been great times of renewal. Perhaps there is an ag tour you have been putting off. The GREAT PAUSE showed us how isolation and lack of adventure can really cramp our style, but we now have options. The most recent adventure for folks in our circle has been electric bikes. They are great for checking fields, riding down the Turtle Mountains to Boissevain, and going for a quick spin before supper. What is the adventure you have been putting off?<\/li>\r\n \t<li class=\"li1\"><b>Vitality is an energy we all want more of.<\/b> Armstrong is convinced we are only using 50% of our body\u2019s capacity. Our wonderful physician Dr. Nell shook his finger at us 5 years ago saying \u201cLook you two it\u2019s time you started having some fun. At 75 it all starts to fall apart!\u201d<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>This year I\u2019ve shed some weight via the app \u201cNOOM\u201d and am working on a better morning fitness routine. My friend, a cattle producer at age 68 does lots of stretching and 40 minutes on her elliptical every morning. She makes time for lots of hiking adventures and ensures her body is in great form. Armstrong has a great list of sleep hacks to have more renewal time.\r\nYour body is not a machine. Save money now by paying better attention to your health and making small habit changes to be healthier. Be kind to your brain and get off your devices long before bed. This will not kill you, and your marriage may be better off for the pillow talk without blue lights flashing from your cell phone or iPad, or TV.<\/li>\r\n \t<li class=\"li1\"><b>Finances:<\/b> The number one encouragement I have is to find a good financial planner who can guide you with your income streams and personal wealth as your farm assets keep growing. CAFA which is the Canadian Association of Farm Advisors has great advisors in their directory who understand the culture of agriculture and the challenges of debt servicing and the need for personal wealth options. See <span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"http:\/\/www.cafanet.ca\"><span class=\"s1\">www.cafanet.ca<\/span><\/a>.<\/span><\/li>\r\n \t<li><strong>Living Legacy:<\/strong> What do you want people to say about you BEFORE you die?\r\nI hope you have a wonderful 80th birthday party where folks can tell you in their own words and stories about how your life really was a blessing to them. Do you want to be able to set your grandkids up for financial success? Can you help fund their RESP for trades or university training? Could you help fund the local arts and culture or sports foundation of your small town? Would you be able to secretly give a \u201cleg up\u201d to a struggling single parent? Having the time to walk alongside newcomers to your community and financial support can be a huge blessing to making your town a great place to age gracefully. We live close to one of Manitoba\u2019s most beautiful small towns. The new bakeshop owner is now making sourdough bread with wheat head designs, plus great peanut butter marshmallow slices. This news may not excite you, but it is becoming a destination attraction. Sometimes it is the \u2018little things in life\u201d that make a day sweeter.<\/li>\r\n \t<li class=\"li1\"><b>Social times<\/b>. Armstrong surprised me with his challenge to question who your friends are and why. Post-Covid relationships look different, and you may be navigating the loss of long-time or childhood friends. Intentionally make a list of the folks who align with your purpose and plans for growth. I\u2019ll still a big fan of calling my far-away friends to keep relationships growing, yet I also know having tea in person is refreshing. I suspect the guys reading this are longing for more friendships beyond the farm gate. What are you DOING about it?<\/li>\r\n<\/ol>\r\n<p class=\"p1\">Find out more about Scott Armstrong\u2019s fun, practical workbook at <span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"http:\/\/www.mindswitch.ca\"><span class=\"s1\">www.mindswitch.ca<\/span><\/a><\/span>, and reach out to the Mind Switch community on <span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/profile.php?id=100063687142266\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Facebook<\/a>.<\/span> Tell him you are working on changing the mindsets in agriculture, one family at a time.<\/p>\r\n<a href=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/insights\/free-stuff\/roles-storyboard\/\"><strong><span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\">Grab your copy of the Roles Storyboard<\/span><\/strong><\/a> to <span class=\"RFZYhc\">help you understand your 6 key roles - personal, couple, family, work (farm and off farm), friends, community.<\/span>\r\n\r\n***\r\n<p class=\"p1\">Elaine Froese is happy to be writing at 30,000 feet again. Invite her to speak at your next ag event. She has 30-plus years of practical insights for farmers to have the life they\u2019ve always wanted. One day at a time.\u00a0Visit <a href=\"http:\/\/www.elainefroese.com\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\">here <\/span><\/a>or Instagram <span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/farmfamilycoach\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">@farmfamilycoach<\/a><\/span> and hit the Linktree bio. Send cards to Box 957, Boissevain MB R0K 0E0.<\/p>\r\n<strong>Follow Elaine on Social for More Helpful Farm Family Advice!<\/strong>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/farmfamilycoach\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Facebook<\/a><\/span>\r\n<span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/farmfamilycoach\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Instagram<\/a><\/span>\r\n<span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/in\/farmfamilycoach\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">LinkedIn<\/a><\/span>\r\n<span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/elainefroese\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Twitter<\/a><\/span>\r\n<span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/c\/farmfamilycoach\/videos\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">YouTube<\/a><\/span>\r\n<span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/@farmfamilycoach\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">TikTok<\/a><\/span>\r\n\r\nDid you enjoy<em><strong> How to re-invent your farm life as you age with Mind-Switch? <\/strong><\/em>You might want to check these articles out too:\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2022\/08\/25\/your-farms-emotional-tank-needs-checking\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Your Farm\u2019s Emotional Tank Needs Checking<\/a><\/span>\r\n<span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2022\/07\/14\/you-are-not-alone-2\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">You are not alone<\/a><\/span>\r\n<span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2022\/06\/30\/how-to-love-a-farmer-2\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">How to Love a Farmer<\/a><\/span>","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[168],"tags":[297,3,4,70,169,1834,113,74,363,353,35,7,329,762,76,369,26,1832,1833,359,1837,398],"class_list":["post-9705","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-communication","tag-agriculture","tag-communication","tag-conflict-resolution","tag-elaine-froese","tag-families","tag-family-land-transfer","tag-farm-business","tag-farm-families","tag-farm-family-coaching","tag-farm-family-discussions","tag-farm-folks","tag-farm-legacy","tag-farm-succession","tag-farm-transition","tag-farmers","tag-farming-business","tag-farming-family","tag-iowa-farming","tag-landownership","tag-succession-planning","tag-working-capital-in-farming","tag-young-farmers"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.9 - 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