{"id":9159,"date":"2024-02-01T01:00:28","date_gmt":"2024-02-01T06:00:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/?p=9159"},"modified":"2024-02-05T19:04:40","modified_gmt":"2024-02-06T00:04:40","slug":"help-my-farm-parents-dont-want-to-take-responsibility-for-family-conflict","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2024\/02\/01\/help-my-farm-parents-dont-want-to-take-responsibility-for-family-conflict\/","title":{"rendered":"Help! My farm parents don\u2019t want to take responsibility for family conflict"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>[et_pb_section fb_built=&#8221;1&#8243; admin_label=&#8221;section&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.6&#8243; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_row admin_label=&#8221;row&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.6&#8243; background_size=&#8221;initial&#8221; background_position=&#8221;top_left&#8221; background_repeat=&#8221;repeat&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;||1px|||&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;4_4&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; custom_padding=&#8221;|||&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; custom_padding__hover=&#8221;|||&#8221;][et_pb_text admin_label=&#8221;Text&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.6&#8243; background_size=&#8221;initial&#8221; background_position=&#8221;top_left&#8221; background_repeat=&#8221;repeat&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;]<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"YouTube video player\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/cbY6cJSzWtY?si=b_SLcS53_UEHIa7c\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>Here\u2019s some text audience feedback from my session about fairness in farm transition:<\/p>\n<p><em>\u201cDad passed away 4 years ago and I\u2019m one of 4 kids but the only one that is farming. Everything is planned out but it is difficult to have others (non-farm siblings) quantify the equity that I\u2019ve put into the business for the last 30-plus years, along with Mom and Dad, and for them to understand it\u2019s not just a simple split 4 ways anymore.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>\u201cIf parents don&#8217;t want to take responsibility for the family dynamics on-farm\/off-farm family members whose responsibility it is or how to move forward if parents block the process?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>\u201cHow can you deal with a father who does not want to start selling land to one farming child at a reduced price due to other children not being able to purchase? He sees it as unfair. And is worried about what the other non-farming child will think.\u201d He&#8217;s owed something.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Just let those texts sink in for a bit. As the founders, you are running a business and working on a transfer of labour, management, and ownership. As parents, you are working on navigating a myriad of expectations regarding the transfer of personal wealth. Unfortunately, many of you have little on the personal wealth side of the ledger and are depending on the farm solely for your income streams as you age in place on your farm. It takes courage to explore what your farm family successors and your non-farm heirs are thinking and feeling.<\/p>\n<p>Many families are avoiding hard conversations. Farm family coaches are highly trained to facilitate these courageous conversations but first, <strong>you<\/strong> need to have a willingness and readiness to do the work.<\/p>\n<p>The farmer above who has put 30 years of labour into the parent\u2019s farm would like his widowed mother to quantify the equity he\u2019s invested in the business. This is known as \u201csweat equity\u201d or delayed compensation. This can be written down with agreements where the son takes a wage for many years at a lower than market rate say $50K a year when the going rate was $75K. The difference of 30 times 25K is $750K of equity not transferred. This is a simplistic example, but if nothing is written down and there is no tracking with agreements on paper or digital files, then things that are not measured cannot be changed easily. (Ask me <a href=\"http:\/\/www.elainefroese.com\/contact\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">here<\/a> for Dr. Baker\u2019s tool on sweat equity calculations.)<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIt\u2019s not just a simple split 4 ways anymore.\u201d Exactly. This is a mindset of \u201cequal\u201d which is not workable with high land prices and the need to keep the profitable, viable business intact. The personal wealth assets of the parents can be allocated to the non-farm heirs, or there can be very long-term land rent agreements to the farming child if a non-farm heir owns a piece of farmland, but most farmers I know don\u2019t want to be in business long-term with their non-farm siblings and in-laws. The underlying fear is the farm successor \u201ccashing out\u201d in a few years which can be handled with legal agreements and caveats like lawyer Mona Brown\u2019s \u201cPoison pill\u201d where land sale gains are rebated back to all the heirs.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Where is it written that it is a parent\u2019s responsibility to keep all their children economically equal? Not in my parenting book. <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Each one of your children has different needs to be successful. Many farm families have already given economic boosts with education tuition, trucks, cars, and down payments on houses. What do you owe your children? Discuss this. <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Ask your non-farm heirs precisely what they expect from your estate as an inheritance and then converse about those expectations. Many young people want their parents, to enjoy the fruit of their labour while they still have decent health. Inheritance to some farm kids is a bonus, not a right. (Those are the ones you might like to adopt!)<\/span><\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-9169 alignnone \" src=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/01\/Help-My-farm-parents-dont-want-to-take-responsibility-for-family-conflict.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"534\" height=\"356\" srcset=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/01\/Help-My-farm-parents-dont-want-to-take-responsibility-for-family-conflict.jpg 534w, https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/01\/Help-My-farm-parents-dont-want-to-take-responsibility-for-family-conflict-480x320.jpg 480w\" sizes=\"auto, (min-width: 0px) and (max-width: 480px) 480px, (min-width: 481px) 534px, 100vw\" \/><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The text above that mentioned the parents blocking the transition process speaks to the common barrier of parents avoiding conflict and choosing to do nothing. Not deciding to act is a decision, it\u2019s called procrastination and fear. The responsibility for positive change in making transition decisions lies with all the family. The successor can be the driver of the process of hiring facilitators, coaches, and advisors and the founders are wise to engage in professional help to get unstuck. More farm families are now getting ag-informed therapy to help deal with deep-seated anger or frustration to find better ways of navigating dynamics with family members who don\u2019t communicate well or choose to be inflexible with their thinking. In several cases over the past 2 decades, I have given the younger folks permission to leave a non-workable dynamic to start a farming venture with another family or on their own. It\u2019s called a \u201cNecessary Ending when things don\u2019t work out\u201d according to author Dr. Henry Cloud.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Fear of conflict and lack of harmony or \u201cgetting along\u201d is real for many farm families who don\u2019t face the current reality and work to create solutions. To get clarity of expectations you need to come to the table for safe, respectful conversations. If you can\u2019t create this on your own, you are wise to reach out for professional help. You also can only be responsible for your own choices and behaviour. As much as you would like to take out your toolbox and \u201cfix others,\u201d the other family members are responsible for making their own emotionally healthy choices.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Marilee Adams, author of <em>\u201c<a href=\"http:\/\/www.inquiryinstitute.com\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Change Your Questions, Change Your Life<\/a>\u201d<\/em> has a choice map,\u00a0which encourages us to choose the learner mindset path, not the judger mindset. Take a few moments to reflect on some of her questions as they relate to the circumstances of transferring land and wealth in your transition.<\/span><\/p>\n<ol>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What happened?<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What do I want for both me and others?<\/span><\/li>\n<li>What can I learn?<\/li>\n<li>What assumptions am I making? (Do you assume everyone needs to get the same inheritance?)<\/li>\n<li>What are the facts?<\/li>\n<li>What are my heirs thinking, feeling, and wanting?<\/li>\n<li>Am I being responsible?<\/li>\n<li>What is possible? (financial planners, coaches, accountants, and lawyers have seen success in other farm transitions, so they can help you explore possibilities)<\/li>\n<li>What are my choices?<\/li>\n<li>What\u2019s best to do now?<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>And here\u2019s my closing question, \u201cTell me what fairness looks like to you, and what do you need to be successful?\u201d<\/p>\n<p data-pm-slice=\"1 1 []\"><span style=\"color: #662d91;\">***<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-pm-slice=\"1 1 []\">Elaine Froese, CSP, CAFA, CHICoach, and her coaching team are here to work with farm families in transition to find harmony through understanding. Listen to the <em>Farm Family Harmony Podcast <\/em><a href=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/farm-family-harmony-podcast\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">here<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #662d91;\">Did you enjoy <em><strong>Help! My farm parents don\u2019t want to take responsibility for family conflict?<\/strong><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/em>You might want to check these articles out too:<\/span><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2024\/01\/18\/how-to-get-those-tough-and-tender-conversations-started-in-2024\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">How to get those tough and tender conversations started in 2024?<\/a><br \/><a href=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2023\/12\/21\/why-cant-farm-moms-ask-for-what-they-need\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\">Why Can\u2019t Farm Moms Ask for What They Need?<\/span><\/a><br \/><a href=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2023\/12\/07\/entitlement-vs-fairness-in-farm-transition\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\">Entitlement vs. Fairness in Farm Transition<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=&#8221;1&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.6&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_row _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.6&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;4_4&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.6&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_image src=&#8221;https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/01\/Roles-Storyboard.jpg&#8221; title_text=&#8221;Roles Storyboard&#8221; url=&#8221;https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/insights\/free-stuff\/roles-storyboard\/&#8221; url_new_window=&#8221;on&#8221; admin_label=&#8221;Image&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.6&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][\/et_pb_image][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Fear of conflict and lack of harmony or \u201cgetting along\u201d is real for many farm families who don\u2019t face the current reality and work to create solutions. To get clarity of expectations you need to come to the table for safe, respectful conversations.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":9169,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":"<iframe title=\"YouTube video player\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/o4K6bItAbCY\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe>\r\n\r\nHarvest is in full swing on our farm, and I am not there\u2026for a few days. Where is it written you cannot leave the farm during harvest? (Almost on every page of the unpublished book \u201cThe Culture of Agriculture.\u201d)\r\n\r\nIf you are one of the 2800 folks who have stumbled upon \u201cFinding Fairness in Farm Transition\u201d on my YouTube channel at Farm Family Coach, you already know I am on a mission to change mindsets in agriculture. Fairness is helping everyone in the family be successful.\r\n<p class=\"p1\">Enter Scott Armstrong and his new workbook: <i>Mind Switch Retirement Planner<\/i>.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\r\n<img class=\"aligncenter wp-image-6952 size-large\" src=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/Untitled-design-1024x512.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1024\" height=\"512\" \/>\r\n<p class=\"p1\">Armstrong is a speaker friend who shared his insights at a national financial planner September convention in Niagara Falls, the place I also journeyed to at the start of our September harvest. He uses the word \u201cretirement\u201d, for ag folks I prefer to use the term reinvention:<\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\"><strong>Here are some things to consider as you age on your farm or ranch:<\/strong><\/p>\r\n\r\n<ol class=\"ol1\">\r\n \t<li class=\"li1\"><b>What are the current roles you want to continue?<\/b> Which ones would you like to let go of? My farmer is coughing more after cleaning bins, and I am encouraging him to quit that task at age 65, which is now.<\/li>\r\n \t<li class=\"li1\"><b>Are you still passionate about farming?<\/b> Or just parts of it? Simon Sinek says, \u201cfulfillment comes when we live our lives on purpose\u201d. What is it you are doing on your farm where you lose all track of time? This summer I think my farmer lost track of mowing fields and ditches and waiting for the grain to ripen. I love to play with my grandkids and enjoy their giggles, stories, and curiosity. Play me with them is a sweet spot and I am intentional in making time for them. I am still passionate about helping farm families make intentional choices for a better quality of life and harmony through understanding.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\r\n \t<li class=\"li1\"><b>Do your passion and purpose align with your spouse\u2019s vision<\/b>? This is where it gets messy. You want to leave the farm life roles and responsibilities, but your partner does not. Not for a long time! Where is it written you cannot pursue some things in different time zones or days apart from your spouse?<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Independence is one of my core values, yet my husband respects what I need to fill my well, and I am happy when I return to the farm from my off-farm contracts and contacts. Love and respect for the other can go both ways.<\/li>\r\n \t<li class=\"li1\"><b>Adventure is big<\/b> on Scott Armstrong\u2019s workbook list. Farmers spend a lot of money on crop protection and other inputs. Many use the points from farm credit cards to fund short-term winter adventures. One of my clients is on a motorbike in the Maritimes as I write this. (Dairy farmer). Another farmer spends time in Mexico helping the poor build houses in the winter, and he wants to do more of this. Our adventures to visit friends in New Zealand, or travel with friends to Hawaii have been great times of renewal. Perhaps there is an ag tour you have been putting off. The GREAT PAUSE showed us how isolation and lack of adventure can really cramp our style, but we now have options. The most recent adventure for folks in our circle has been electric bikes. They are great for checking fields, riding down the Turtle Mountains to Boissevain, and going for a quick spin before supper. What is the adventure you have been putting off?<\/li>\r\n \t<li class=\"li1\"><b>Vitality is an energy we all want more of.<\/b> Armstrong is convinced we are only using 50% of our body\u2019s capacity. Our wonderful physician Dr. Nell shook his finger at us 5 years ago saying \u201cLook you two it\u2019s time you started having some fun. At 75 it all starts to fall apart!\u201d<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>This year I\u2019ve shed some weight via the app \u201cNOOM\u201d and am working on a better morning fitness routine. My friend, a cattle producer at age 68 does lots of stretching and 40 minutes on her elliptical every morning. She makes time for lots of hiking adventures and ensures her body is in great form. Armstrong has a great list of sleep hacks to have more renewal time.\r\nYour body is not a machine. Save money now by paying better attention to your health and making small habit changes to be healthier. Be kind to your brain and get off your devices long before bed. This will not kill you, and your marriage may be better off for the pillow talk without blue lights flashing from your cell phone or iPad, or TV.<\/li>\r\n \t<li class=\"li1\"><b>Finances:<\/b> The number one encouragement I have is to find a good financial planner who can guide you with your income streams and personal wealth as your farm assets keep growing. CAFA which is the Canadian Association of Farm Advisors has great advisors in their directory who understand the culture of agriculture and the challenges of debt servicing and the need for personal wealth options. See <span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"http:\/\/www.cafanet.ca\"><span class=\"s1\">www.cafanet.ca<\/span><\/a>.<\/span><\/li>\r\n \t<li><strong>Living Legacy:<\/strong> What do you want people to say about you BEFORE you die?\r\nI hope you have a wonderful 80th birthday party where folks can tell you in their own words and stories about how your life really was a blessing to them. Do you want to be able to set your grandkids up for financial success? Can you help fund their RESP for trades or university training? Could you help fund the local arts and culture or sports foundation of your small town? Would you be able to secretly give a \u201cleg up\u201d to a struggling single parent? Having the time to walk alongside newcomers to your community and financial support can be a huge blessing to making your town a great place to age gracefully. We live close to one of Manitoba\u2019s most beautiful small towns. The new bakeshop owner is now making sourdough bread with wheat head designs, plus great peanut butter marshmallow slices. This news may not excite you, but it is becoming a destination attraction. Sometimes it is the \u2018little things in life\u201d that make a day sweeter.<\/li>\r\n \t<li class=\"li1\"><b>Social times<\/b>. Armstrong surprised me with his challenge to question who your friends are and why. Post-Covid relationships look different, and you may be navigating the loss of long-time or childhood friends. Intentionally make a list of the folks who align with your purpose and plans for growth. I\u2019ll still a big fan of calling my far-away friends to keep relationships growing, yet I also know having tea in person is refreshing. I suspect the guys reading this are longing for more friendships beyond the farm gate. What are you DOING about it?<\/li>\r\n<\/ol>\r\n<p class=\"p1\">Find out more about Scott Armstrong\u2019s fun, practical workbook at <span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"http:\/\/www.mindswitch.ca\"><span class=\"s1\">www.mindswitch.ca<\/span><\/a><\/span>, and reach out to the Mind Switch community on <span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/profile.php?id=100063687142266\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Facebook<\/a>.<\/span> Tell him you are working on changing the mindsets in agriculture, one family at a time.<\/p>\r\n<a href=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/insights\/free-stuff\/roles-storyboard\/\"><strong><span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\">Grab your copy of the Roles Storyboard<\/span><\/strong><\/a> to <span class=\"RFZYhc\">help you understand your 6 key roles - personal, couple, family, work (farm and off farm), friends, community.<\/span>\r\n\r\n***\r\n<p class=\"p1\">Elaine Froese is happy to be writing at 30,000 feet again. Invite her to speak at your next ag event. She has 30-plus years of practical insights for farmers to have the life they\u2019ve always wanted. One day at a time.\u00a0Visit <a href=\"http:\/\/www.elainefroese.com\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\">here <\/span><\/a>or Instagram <span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/farmfamilycoach\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">@farmfamilycoach<\/a><\/span> and hit the Linktree bio. Send cards to Box 957, Boissevain MB R0K 0E0.<\/p>\r\n<strong>Follow Elaine on Social for More Helpful Farm Family Advice!<\/strong>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/farmfamilycoach\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Facebook<\/a><\/span>\r\n<span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/farmfamilycoach\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Instagram<\/a><\/span>\r\n<span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/in\/farmfamilycoach\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">LinkedIn<\/a><\/span>\r\n<span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/elainefroese\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Twitter<\/a><\/span>\r\n<span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/c\/farmfamilycoach\/videos\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">YouTube<\/a><\/span>\r\n<span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/@farmfamilycoach\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">TikTok<\/a><\/span>\r\n\r\nDid you enjoy<em><strong> How to re-invent your farm life as you age with Mind-Switch? <\/strong><\/em>You might want to check these articles out too:\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2022\/08\/25\/your-farms-emotional-tank-needs-checking\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Your Farm\u2019s Emotional Tank Needs Checking<\/a><\/span>\r\n<span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2022\/07\/14\/you-are-not-alone-2\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">You are not alone<\/a><\/span>\r\n<span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2022\/06\/30\/how-to-love-a-farmer-2\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">How to Love a Farmer<\/a><\/span>","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[168],"tags":[3,983,70,837,169,112,1724,25,113,1671,74,211,259,58,762,76,118,1408],"class_list":["post-9159","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-communication","tag-communication","tag-conversations","tag-elaine-froese","tag-fairness","tag-families","tag-family","tag-family-conflict","tag-farm","tag-farm-business","tag-farm-comes-first","tag-farm-families","tag-farm-familly","tag-farm-family-coach","tag-farm-parents","tag-farm-transition","tag-farmers","tag-farming","tag-responsibility"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Help! My farm parents don\u2019t want to take responsibility for family conflict - Elaine Froese | Canada\u2019s Farm Whisperer | Your go-to expert for farm families who want better communication and conflict resolution to secure a successful farm transition<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Fear of conflict and lack of harmony or \u201cgetting along\u201d is real for many farm families who don\u2019t face the current reality and work to create solutions.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2024\/02\/01\/help-my-farm-parents-dont-want-to-take-responsibility-for-family-conflict\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Help! 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