{"id":9067,"date":"2023-12-21T01:00:35","date_gmt":"2023-12-21T06:00:35","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/?p=9067"},"modified":"2023-12-21T14:53:47","modified_gmt":"2023-12-21T19:53:47","slug":"why-cant-farm-moms-ask-for-what-they-need","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2023\/12\/21\/why-cant-farm-moms-ask-for-what-they-need\/","title":{"rendered":"Why Can\u2019t Farm Moms Ask for What They Need?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>[et_pb_section fb_built=&#8221;1&#8243; admin_label=&#8221;section&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.6&#8243; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_row admin_label=&#8221;row&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.6&#8243; background_size=&#8221;initial&#8221; background_position=&#8221;top_left&#8221; background_repeat=&#8221;repeat&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;||1px|||&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;4_4&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; custom_padding=&#8221;|||&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; custom_padding__hover=&#8221;|||&#8221;][et_pb_text admin_label=&#8221;Text&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.6&#8243; background_size=&#8221;initial&#8221; background_position=&#8221;top_left&#8221; background_repeat=&#8221;repeat&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;]<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"YouTube video player\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/uBJVyr6WorQ?si=9NojDNXwyp5zgPiF\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">December can be an emotionally strained month when folks are setting up high expectations of what the seasonal celebrations and gifts are supposed to look like.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Last year, due to a myriad of circumstances and miscommunication, my Christmas stocking was skinny, and truthfully, I was disappointed and tempted to feel sorry for myself.\u00a0 When you consider the terrible wars in the Middle East and Ukraine though, I do think we have a lot to be thankful for in this part of the world.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Communicating your needs goes beyond a simple Christmas list. My coaching team member, Kalynn Spain, has a degree in conflict resolution, and I asked her to share with us some of the reasons why farm moms of the older generation can\u2019t ask for what they truly need.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-9084 alignnone \" src=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/Why-Cant-Farm-Moms-Ask-for-What-They-Need-1.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"530\" height=\"353\" srcset=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/Why-Cant-Farm-Moms-Ask-for-What-They-Need-1.jpg 530w, https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/Why-Cant-Farm-Moms-Ask-for-What-They-Need-1-480x320.jpg 480w\" sizes=\"auto, (min-width: 0px) and (max-width: 480px) 480px, (min-width: 481px) 530px, 100vw\" \/><\/p>\n<h2><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">SCARCITY MINDSET<\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Some farm mothers may have learned early on that it is selfish to have needs. These childhood messages could be something like asking for what you need is not right, or you should work for what you receive.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If a farm mother grew up poor, then she may approach farming with a scarcity mindset.<\/span> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This can look like someone constantly in \u201csurvival\u201d mode who tries to buy and preserve as much as they can, sometimes to compensate for other needs the farm is not meeting, such as emotional support.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">A good article on the difference between scarcity and abundance mindsets can be found <span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"https:\/\/resources.strategiccoach.com\/the-multiplier-mindset-blog\/mindset-matters-abundance-mindset-vs-scarcity-mindset\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">here<\/a><\/span>.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">My farming father was a young boy during the Depression and fits this model of having a scarcity mindset. I recall my mother bought a full-length black ranch mink fur coat in the late 1970s from the proceeds of a truckload of wheat she sold. I was curious why she thought she needed a mink coat, but suspect it came from a need to be recognized for all her hard work as a farm partner with my dad.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Mom never wore that coat much, and I was gifted it to enjoy for a few decades of cold winter Sundays. I have passed it along to my city-dwelling sister-in-law who will enjoy it.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">GENERATIONAL NEGLECT OF NEEDS<\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Often in seminars I have quoted this biblical passage: \u201cYou do not have, because you do not ask.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Farm mothers may come from mothers and grandmothers who neglected their own needs for the benefit \u2014 and possibly survival \u2014 of the family and the farm. Thus, they didn\u2019t have female role models who spoke up about what they needed.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If your role models embodied this kind of martyr-like neglect, you may not have the language or courage to be bold, strong and empowered to make your needs known.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Our coaching team says, \u201cLove does not read minds.\u201d You may have the intention of having your needs met, yet you\u2019re not quite sure how to go about asking for what you truly want.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2>DISRESPECT OF IN-LAWS<\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When a woman marries into a farming family, she may be disrespected by her in-laws and treated as a less equal partner in the farm than her husband, even if she grew up on a farm and understands agriculture.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This disrespect can take different forms, from exclusion in farm operation meetings to disregard for the important roles farm wives can hold in the business, such as record keeping.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This lack of respect from in-laws is evident when you scroll the Facebook posts of farm women in ag groups. It\u2019s the key reason Megan McKenzie and I spent a year of Tuesdays writing our book, <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Farming\u2019s In-law Factor: <\/span><\/i><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How to Have More Harmony and Less Conflict on Family Farms.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Unfortunately, many millennial women who have agriculture degrees and practice agronomy as professionals still may come up against unconscious or conscious bias against their right or ability to be a successor of the farm business and play an active role.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So, what is it that farm mothers need? This includes:\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<ol>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><b>Acknowledgement<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> of how important her role is on the farm, even if it is not out in the yard.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><b>Appreciation<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> for all the things, large and small, she does to hold the family together and support farm operation communication.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><b>A voice<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> in the farm operation, or more specifically, a seat at the table. Whether it\u2019s after breakfast discussing where the cows are going to get moved or a meeting at the accountant\u2019s office, farm moms deserve to have a say and to be heard.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><b>Respect <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">for the agronomic, economic, human resources, marketing, risk management and strategic thinking skills women in ag bring to their farm teams.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Many of the farm women I know who are working off-farm jobs, raising young children and\/or providing meals are doing the best they can. Where is it written you aren\u2019t allowed to ask for what you need?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Today I am giving all my readers, male and female, permission to graciously express verbally to their farm families what they truly need this holiday season.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Use the power of a pen to write notes of affirmation and appreciation to all the folks on your farm team. It might be transformational for your farm culture to approach the women on your team with, \u201cWhat do you need in this moment and this season of your life from the farm business?\u201d Be sure to act on the request.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Peace, joy and love for one another be yours in abundance this Christmas.<br \/><\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">-30-<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p data-pm-slice=\"1 1 []\"><span style=\"color: #662d91;\">***<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><i>Elaine Froese and her team are here to help your farm family in transition find harmony through understanding. Thanks to my farm family coach colleague, Kalynn Spain, for her research on this article. Visit<\/i> <em><span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"http:\/\/www.farmfamilyharmonypodcast.com\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">here<\/a><\/span> and listen to the <strong>Farm Family Harmony Podcast<\/strong>.<\/em><br \/><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #662d91;\">Did you enjoy <em><strong>Why Can\u2019t Farm Moms Ask for What They Need<\/strong><strong>? <\/strong><\/em>You might want to check these articles out too:<\/span><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2023\/12\/07\/entitlement-vs-fairness-in-farm-transition\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\">Entitlement vs. Fairness in Farm Transition<\/span><\/a><span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><br \/><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2023\/11\/23\/family-dynamics-are-you-going-to-be-the-leader-of-a-healthier-dynamic\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Family Dynamics: Are you going to be the leader of a healthier dynamic<\/a><br \/><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2023\/11\/09\/farmers-need-to-find-time-for-family\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Farmers need to find time for family<\/a><\/span><span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><br \/><\/span><\/p>\n<p>Please share the following email with your clients and industry contacts. University of Guelph\u2019s FREE <span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.guelphagriculturalmanagement.com\/#whyjoin\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Foundations in Agricultural Management course<\/a><\/span>.<\/p>\n<p>Each of the eight modules takes approximately 20 minutes to complete<\/p>\n<p>o\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Module 1:Business Planning &amp; Strategy<br \/>o\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Module 2:Financial Literacy I<br \/>o\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Module 3: Financial Literacy II<br \/>o\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Module 4:Managing Your Most Valuable Asset &#8211; Your People<br \/>o\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Module 5: Risk Management<br \/>o\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Module 6:Family Farm Transition Planning I<br \/>o\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Module 7: Family Farm Transition Planning II<br \/>o\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Module 8: Managing Mental Health &amp; Building Resilience<\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=&#8221;1&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.6&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_row _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.6&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;4_4&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.6&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_image src=&#8221;https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/How-To-Write-A-Letter-To-Get-Unstuck.jpg&#8221; title_text=&#8221;How To Write A Letter To Get Unstuck&#8221; url=&#8221;https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/insights\/free-stuff\/how-to-write-a-letter-to-get-unstuck\/&#8221; admin_label=&#8221;Image&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.6&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][\/et_pb_image][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Some farm mothers may have learned early on that it is selfish to have needs. These childhood messages could be something like asking for what you need is not right, or you should work for what you receive.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":9084,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":"<iframe title=\"YouTube video player\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/o4K6bItAbCY\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe>\r\n\r\nHarvest is in full swing on our farm, and I am not there\u2026for a few days. Where is it written you cannot leave the farm during harvest? (Almost on every page of the unpublished book \u201cThe Culture of Agriculture.\u201d)\r\n\r\nIf you are one of the 2800 folks who have stumbled upon \u201cFinding Fairness in Farm Transition\u201d on my YouTube channel at Farm Family Coach, you already know I am on a mission to change mindsets in agriculture. Fairness is helping everyone in the family be successful.\r\n<p class=\"p1\">Enter Scott Armstrong and his new workbook: <i>Mind Switch Retirement Planner<\/i>.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\r\n<img class=\"aligncenter wp-image-6952 size-large\" src=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/Untitled-design-1024x512.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1024\" height=\"512\" \/>\r\n<p class=\"p1\">Armstrong is a speaker friend who shared his insights at a national financial planner September convention in Niagara Falls, the place I also journeyed to at the start of our September harvest. He uses the word \u201cretirement\u201d, for ag folks I prefer to use the term reinvention:<\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\"><strong>Here are some things to consider as you age on your farm or ranch:<\/strong><\/p>\r\n\r\n<ol class=\"ol1\">\r\n \t<li class=\"li1\"><b>What are the current roles you want to continue?<\/b> Which ones would you like to let go of? My farmer is coughing more after cleaning bins, and I am encouraging him to quit that task at age 65, which is now.<\/li>\r\n \t<li class=\"li1\"><b>Are you still passionate about farming?<\/b> Or just parts of it? Simon Sinek says, \u201cfulfillment comes when we live our lives on purpose\u201d. What is it you are doing on your farm where you lose all track of time? This summer I think my farmer lost track of mowing fields and ditches and waiting for the grain to ripen. I love to play with my grandkids and enjoy their giggles, stories, and curiosity. Play me with them is a sweet spot and I am intentional in making time for them. I am still passionate about helping farm families make intentional choices for a better quality of life and harmony through understanding.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\r\n \t<li class=\"li1\"><b>Do your passion and purpose align with your spouse\u2019s vision<\/b>? This is where it gets messy. You want to leave the farm life roles and responsibilities, but your partner does not. Not for a long time! Where is it written you cannot pursue some things in different time zones or days apart from your spouse?<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Independence is one of my core values, yet my husband respects what I need to fill my well, and I am happy when I return to the farm from my off-farm contracts and contacts. Love and respect for the other can go both ways.<\/li>\r\n \t<li class=\"li1\"><b>Adventure is big<\/b> on Scott Armstrong\u2019s workbook list. Farmers spend a lot of money on crop protection and other inputs. Many use the points from farm credit cards to fund short-term winter adventures. One of my clients is on a motorbike in the Maritimes as I write this. (Dairy farmer). Another farmer spends time in Mexico helping the poor build houses in the winter, and he wants to do more of this. Our adventures to visit friends in New Zealand, or travel with friends to Hawaii have been great times of renewal. Perhaps there is an ag tour you have been putting off. The GREAT PAUSE showed us how isolation and lack of adventure can really cramp our style, but we now have options. The most recent adventure for folks in our circle has been electric bikes. They are great for checking fields, riding down the Turtle Mountains to Boissevain, and going for a quick spin before supper. What is the adventure you have been putting off?<\/li>\r\n \t<li class=\"li1\"><b>Vitality is an energy we all want more of.<\/b> Armstrong is convinced we are only using 50% of our body\u2019s capacity. Our wonderful physician Dr. Nell shook his finger at us 5 years ago saying \u201cLook you two it\u2019s time you started having some fun. At 75 it all starts to fall apart!\u201d<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>This year I\u2019ve shed some weight via the app \u201cNOOM\u201d and am working on a better morning fitness routine. My friend, a cattle producer at age 68 does lots of stretching and 40 minutes on her elliptical every morning. She makes time for lots of hiking adventures and ensures her body is in great form. Armstrong has a great list of sleep hacks to have more renewal time.\r\nYour body is not a machine. Save money now by paying better attention to your health and making small habit changes to be healthier. Be kind to your brain and get off your devices long before bed. This will not kill you, and your marriage may be better off for the pillow talk without blue lights flashing from your cell phone or iPad, or TV.<\/li>\r\n \t<li class=\"li1\"><b>Finances:<\/b> The number one encouragement I have is to find a good financial planner who can guide you with your income streams and personal wealth as your farm assets keep growing. CAFA which is the Canadian Association of Farm Advisors has great advisors in their directory who understand the culture of agriculture and the challenges of debt servicing and the need for personal wealth options. See <span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"http:\/\/www.cafanet.ca\"><span class=\"s1\">www.cafanet.ca<\/span><\/a>.<\/span><\/li>\r\n \t<li><strong>Living Legacy:<\/strong> What do you want people to say about you BEFORE you die?\r\nI hope you have a wonderful 80th birthday party where folks can tell you in their own words and stories about how your life really was a blessing to them. Do you want to be able to set your grandkids up for financial success? Can you help fund their RESP for trades or university training? Could you help fund the local arts and culture or sports foundation of your small town? Would you be able to secretly give a \u201cleg up\u201d to a struggling single parent? Having the time to walk alongside newcomers to your community and financial support can be a huge blessing to making your town a great place to age gracefully. We live close to one of Manitoba\u2019s most beautiful small towns. The new bakeshop owner is now making sourdough bread with wheat head designs, plus great peanut butter marshmallow slices. This news may not excite you, but it is becoming a destination attraction. Sometimes it is the \u2018little things in life\u201d that make a day sweeter.<\/li>\r\n \t<li class=\"li1\"><b>Social times<\/b>. Armstrong surprised me with his challenge to question who your friends are and why. Post-Covid relationships look different, and you may be navigating the loss of long-time or childhood friends. Intentionally make a list of the folks who align with your purpose and plans for growth. I\u2019ll still a big fan of calling my far-away friends to keep relationships growing, yet I also know having tea in person is refreshing. I suspect the guys reading this are longing for more friendships beyond the farm gate. What are you DOING about it?<\/li>\r\n<\/ol>\r\n<p class=\"p1\">Find out more about Scott Armstrong\u2019s fun, practical workbook at <span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"http:\/\/www.mindswitch.ca\"><span class=\"s1\">www.mindswitch.ca<\/span><\/a><\/span>, and reach out to the Mind Switch community on <span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/profile.php?id=100063687142266\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Facebook<\/a>.<\/span> Tell him you are working on changing the mindsets in agriculture, one family at a time.<\/p>\r\n<a href=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/insights\/free-stuff\/roles-storyboard\/\"><strong><span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\">Grab your copy of the Roles Storyboard<\/span><\/strong><\/a> to <span class=\"RFZYhc\">help you understand your 6 key roles - personal, couple, family, work (farm and off farm), friends, community.<\/span>\r\n\r\n***\r\n<p class=\"p1\">Elaine Froese is happy to be writing at 30,000 feet again. Invite her to speak at your next ag event. She has 30-plus years of practical insights for farmers to have the life they\u2019ve always wanted. One day at a time.\u00a0Visit <a href=\"http:\/\/www.elainefroese.com\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\">here <\/span><\/a>or Instagram <span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/farmfamilycoach\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">@farmfamilycoach<\/a><\/span> and hit the Linktree bio. Send cards to Box 957, Boissevain MB R0K 0E0.<\/p>\r\n<strong>Follow Elaine on Social for More Helpful Farm Family Advice!<\/strong>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/farmfamilycoach\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Facebook<\/a><\/span>\r\n<span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/farmfamilycoach\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Instagram<\/a><\/span>\r\n<span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/in\/farmfamilycoach\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">LinkedIn<\/a><\/span>\r\n<span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/elainefroese\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Twitter<\/a><\/span>\r\n<span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/c\/farmfamilycoach\/videos\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">YouTube<\/a><\/span>\r\n<span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/@farmfamilycoach\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">TikTok<\/a><\/span>\r\n\r\nDid you enjoy<em><strong> How to re-invent your farm life as you age with Mind-Switch? <\/strong><\/em>You might want to check these articles out too:\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2022\/08\/25\/your-farms-emotional-tank-needs-checking\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Your Farm\u2019s Emotional Tank Needs Checking<\/a><\/span>\r\n<span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2022\/07\/14\/you-are-not-alone-2\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">You are not alone<\/a><\/span>\r\n<span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2022\/06\/30\/how-to-love-a-farmer-2\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">How to Love a Farmer<\/a><\/span>","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[168],"tags":[1706,300,3,1705,70,837,169,112,25,113,1671,74,211,259,313,762,76,118,1704,1702,106,1703,1707],"class_list":["post-9067","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-communication","tag-acknowledgement","tag-appreciation","tag-communication","tag-disrespect-of-in-laws","tag-elaine-froese","tag-fairness","tag-families","tag-family","tag-farm","tag-farm-business","tag-farm-comes-first","tag-farm-families","tag-farm-familly","tag-farm-family-coach","tag-farm-moms","tag-farm-transition","tag-farmers","tag-farming","tag-generational-neglect-of-needs","tag-need","tag-respect","tag-scarcity-mindset","tag-voice"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Why Can\u2019t Farm Moms Ask for What They Need? - Elaine Froese | Canada\u2019s Farm Whisperer | Your go-to expert for farm families who want better communication and conflict resolution to secure a successful farm transition<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"My coaching team member Kalynn Spain has a degree in conflict resolution, and I asked her to share with us some of the reasons why farm moms of the older generation can\u2019t ask for what they truly need.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2023\/12\/21\/why-cant-farm-moms-ask-for-what-they-need\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Why Can\u2019t Farm Moms Ask for What They Need? - Elaine Froese | Canada\u2019s Farm Whisperer | Your go-to expert for farm families who want better communication and conflict resolution to secure a successful farm transition\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"My coaching team member Kalynn Spain has a degree in conflict resolution, and I asked her to share with us some of the reasons why farm moms of the older generation can\u2019t ask for what they truly need.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2023\/12\/21\/why-cant-farm-moms-ask-for-what-they-need\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Elaine Froese | Canada\u2019s Farm Whisperer | Your go-to expert for farm families who want better communication and conflict resolution to secure a successful farm transition\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2023-12-21T06:00:35+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2023-12-21T19:53:47+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/Why-Cant-Farm-Moms-Ask-for-What-They-Need-1.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"600\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"400\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Elaine Froese\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Elaine Froese\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"6 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2023\/12\/21\/why-cant-farm-moms-ask-for-what-they-need\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2023\/12\/21\/why-cant-farm-moms-ask-for-what-they-need\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Elaine Froese\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/#\/schema\/person\/6960d626ab7e9f2f8f719815b7733dc3\"},\"headline\":\"Why Can\u2019t Farm Moms Ask for What They Need?\",\"datePublished\":\"2023-12-21T06:00:35+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2023-12-21T19:53:47+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2023\/12\/21\/why-cant-farm-moms-ask-for-what-they-need\/\"},\"wordCount\":1245,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2023\/12\/21\/why-cant-farm-moms-ask-for-what-they-need\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/Why-Cant-Farm-Moms-Ask-for-What-They-Need-1.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"Acknowledgement\",\"Appreciation\",\"Communication\",\"DISRESPECT OF IN-LAWS\",\"Elaine Froese\",\"fairness\",\"families\",\"family\",\"Farm\",\"Farm Business\",\"farm comes first\",\"Farm Families\",\"Farm familly\",\"Farm Family Coach\",\"farm moms\",\"farm transition\",\"Farmers\",\"Farming\",\"GENERATIONAL NEGLECT OF NEEDS\",\"Need\",\"Respect\",\"SCARCITY MINDSET\",\"Voice\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Communication\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2023\/12\/21\/why-cant-farm-moms-ask-for-what-they-need\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2023\/12\/21\/why-cant-farm-moms-ask-for-what-they-need\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2023\/12\/21\/why-cant-farm-moms-ask-for-what-they-need\/\",\"name\":\"Why Can\u2019t Farm Moms Ask for What They Need? - Elaine Froese | Canada\u2019s Farm Whisperer | Your go-to expert for farm families who want better communication and conflict resolution to secure a successful farm transition\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2023\/12\/21\/why-cant-farm-moms-ask-for-what-they-need\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2023\/12\/21\/why-cant-farm-moms-ask-for-what-they-need\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/Why-Cant-Farm-Moms-Ask-for-What-They-Need-1.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2023-12-21T06:00:35+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2023-12-21T19:53:47+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/#\/schema\/person\/6960d626ab7e9f2f8f719815b7733dc3\"},\"description\":\"My coaching team member Kalynn Spain has a degree in conflict resolution, and I asked her to share with us some of the reasons why farm moms of the older generation can\u2019t ask for what they truly need.\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2023\/12\/21\/why-cant-farm-moms-ask-for-what-they-need\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2023\/12\/21\/why-cant-farm-moms-ask-for-what-they-need\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2023\/12\/21\/why-cant-farm-moms-ask-for-what-they-need\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/Why-Cant-Farm-Moms-Ask-for-What-They-Need-1.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/Why-Cant-Farm-Moms-Ask-for-What-They-Need-1.jpg\",\"width\":600,\"height\":400},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2023\/12\/21\/why-cant-farm-moms-ask-for-what-they-need\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Why Can\u2019t Farm Moms Ask for What They Need?\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/\",\"name\":\"Elaine Froese | Canada\u2019s Farm Whisperer | Your go-to expert for farm families who want better communication and conflict resolution to secure a successful farm transition\",\"description\":\"\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/#\/schema\/person\/6960d626ab7e9f2f8f719815b7733dc3\",\"name\":\"Elaine Froese\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/4df8162d4b4a0bb7b79f735f1fd39bc21a692ec62908384041c34339d64bd119?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/4df8162d4b4a0bb7b79f735f1fd39bc21a692ec62908384041c34339d64bd119?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Elaine Froese\"},\"description\":\"I\u2019m Elaine Froese, a lifelong farmer. Every day, I use my background in conflict resolution and communication to help fellow growers and ranchers face make-or-break issues head on \u2014 so they can focus on the business of farming. My expertise is sought after across Canada, and in the U.S. I'm a catalyst for courageous conversations, new scenarios and more profitable businesses. Many of my clients say: \u201cI wish I had met you 10 years ago.\u201d Learn more on how I can help you here \u2192\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/author\/elaine\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Why Can\u2019t Farm Moms Ask for What They Need? - Elaine Froese | Canada\u2019s Farm Whisperer | Your go-to expert for farm families who want better communication and conflict resolution to secure a successful farm transition","description":"My coaching team member Kalynn Spain has a degree in conflict resolution, and I asked her to share with us some of the reasons why farm moms of the older generation can\u2019t ask for what they truly need.","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2023\/12\/21\/why-cant-farm-moms-ask-for-what-they-need\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Why Can\u2019t Farm Moms Ask for What They Need? - Elaine Froese | Canada\u2019s Farm Whisperer | Your go-to expert for farm families who want better communication and conflict resolution to secure a successful farm transition","og_description":"My coaching team member Kalynn Spain has a degree in conflict resolution, and I asked her to share with us some of the reasons why farm moms of the older generation can\u2019t ask for what they truly need.","og_url":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2023\/12\/21\/why-cant-farm-moms-ask-for-what-they-need\/","og_site_name":"Elaine Froese | Canada\u2019s Farm Whisperer | Your go-to expert for farm families who want better communication and conflict resolution to secure a successful farm transition","article_published_time":"2023-12-21T06:00:35+00:00","article_modified_time":"2023-12-21T19:53:47+00:00","og_image":[{"width":600,"height":400,"url":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/Why-Cant-Farm-Moms-Ask-for-What-They-Need-1.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"Elaine Froese","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Elaine Froese","Est. reading time":"6 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2023\/12\/21\/why-cant-farm-moms-ask-for-what-they-need\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2023\/12\/21\/why-cant-farm-moms-ask-for-what-they-need\/"},"author":{"name":"Elaine Froese","@id":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/#\/schema\/person\/6960d626ab7e9f2f8f719815b7733dc3"},"headline":"Why Can\u2019t Farm Moms Ask for What They Need?","datePublished":"2023-12-21T06:00:35+00:00","dateModified":"2023-12-21T19:53:47+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2023\/12\/21\/why-cant-farm-moms-ask-for-what-they-need\/"},"wordCount":1245,"commentCount":0,"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2023\/12\/21\/why-cant-farm-moms-ask-for-what-they-need\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/Why-Cant-Farm-Moms-Ask-for-What-They-Need-1.jpg","keywords":["Acknowledgement","Appreciation","Communication","DISRESPECT OF IN-LAWS","Elaine Froese","fairness","families","family","Farm","Farm Business","farm comes first","Farm Families","Farm familly","Farm Family Coach","farm moms","farm transition","Farmers","Farming","GENERATIONAL NEGLECT OF NEEDS","Need","Respect","SCARCITY MINDSET","Voice"],"articleSection":["Communication"],"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2023\/12\/21\/why-cant-farm-moms-ask-for-what-they-need\/#respond"]}]},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2023\/12\/21\/why-cant-farm-moms-ask-for-what-they-need\/","url":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2023\/12\/21\/why-cant-farm-moms-ask-for-what-they-need\/","name":"Why Can\u2019t Farm Moms Ask for What They Need? - Elaine Froese | Canada\u2019s Farm Whisperer | Your go-to expert for farm families who want better communication and conflict resolution to secure a successful farm transition","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2023\/12\/21\/why-cant-farm-moms-ask-for-what-they-need\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2023\/12\/21\/why-cant-farm-moms-ask-for-what-they-need\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/Why-Cant-Farm-Moms-Ask-for-What-They-Need-1.jpg","datePublished":"2023-12-21T06:00:35+00:00","dateModified":"2023-12-21T19:53:47+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/#\/schema\/person\/6960d626ab7e9f2f8f719815b7733dc3"},"description":"My coaching team member Kalynn Spain has a degree in conflict resolution, and I asked her to share with us some of the reasons why farm moms of the older generation can\u2019t ask for what they truly need.","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2023\/12\/21\/why-cant-farm-moms-ask-for-what-they-need\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2023\/12\/21\/why-cant-farm-moms-ask-for-what-they-need\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2023\/12\/21\/why-cant-farm-moms-ask-for-what-they-need\/#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/Why-Cant-Farm-Moms-Ask-for-What-They-Need-1.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/Why-Cant-Farm-Moms-Ask-for-What-They-Need-1.jpg","width":600,"height":400},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2023\/12\/21\/why-cant-farm-moms-ask-for-what-they-need\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Why Can\u2019t Farm Moms Ask for What They Need?"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/#website","url":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/","name":"Elaine Froese | Canada\u2019s Farm Whisperer | Your go-to expert for farm families who want better communication and conflict resolution to secure a successful farm transition","description":"","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/#\/schema\/person\/6960d626ab7e9f2f8f719815b7733dc3","name":"Elaine Froese","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/4df8162d4b4a0bb7b79f735f1fd39bc21a692ec62908384041c34339d64bd119?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/4df8162d4b4a0bb7b79f735f1fd39bc21a692ec62908384041c34339d64bd119?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Elaine Froese"},"description":"I\u2019m Elaine Froese, a lifelong farmer. Every day, I use my background in conflict resolution and communication to help fellow growers and ranchers face make-or-break issues head on \u2014 so they can focus on the business of farming. My expertise is sought after across Canada, and in the U.S. I'm a catalyst for courageous conversations, new scenarios and more profitable businesses. Many of my clients say: \u201cI wish I had met you 10 years ago.\u201d Learn more on how I can help you here \u2192","url":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/author\/elaine\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9067","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9067"}],"version-history":[{"count":23,"href":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9067\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9101,"href":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9067\/revisions\/9101"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/9084"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9067"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9067"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9067"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}