{"id":7361,"date":"2022-12-15T08:49:31","date_gmt":"2022-12-15T16:49:31","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/?p=7361"},"modified":"2022-12-15T08:49:38","modified_gmt":"2022-12-15T16:49:38","slug":"when-silent-nights-dont-bring-peace-to-your-farm-3","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2022\/12\/15\/when-silent-nights-dont-bring-peace-to-your-farm-3\/","title":{"rendered":"When Silent Nights don\u2019t bring peace to your farm"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>[et_pb_section fb_built=&#8221;1&#8243; admin_label=&#8221;section&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_row admin_label=&#8221;row&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; background_size=&#8221;initial&#8221; background_position=&#8221;top_left&#8221; background_repeat=&#8221;repeat&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;4_4&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; custom_padding=&#8221;|||&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; custom_padding__hover=&#8221;|||&#8221;][et_pb_text admin_label=&#8221;Text&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.6&#8243; background_size=&#8221;initial&#8221; background_position=&#8221;top_left&#8221; background_repeat=&#8221;repeat&#8221; hover_enabled=&#8221;0&#8243; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; sticky_enabled=&#8221;0&#8243;]<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"YouTube video player\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/tPmwJxrpGT8\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">When I was a very small farm girl, dressed in my homemade red velvet jumper, I looked forward to \u201cEdie\u201d Christmas on Boxing Day with my cousins. I recall my great-grandmother singing \u201cSilent Night\u201d to us in German. Little did I know then that I would marry into a family whose first language was German. I don\u2019t know how to sing \u201cStille Nacht\u201d but I do know that the approach of Christmas brings good memories for some farm families, and fear for others.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">\u201cSilent night, Holy night, all is calm, all is bright\u201d. Not for those who are longing for emotional peace on their farms. These folks have just recovered from the harvest, yet they still feel wiped out. They are <strong>\u201cwalking on eggshells\u201d<\/strong> with their families since they rarely converse. The periods of extended silence are growing longer, instead of shorter.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>The calm on their farms may be a gorgeous starry night, but inside the family dynamic, the silence is killing them.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><strong>Silence is a form of communication manipulation.<\/strong> It can be good or bad.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">For some people who are given very little airtime, silence is an opportunity for them to gather their thoughts, and then they can speak. Silence according to author Susan Scott in \u201c<i>Fierce Conversations<\/i>\u201d is the way to \u201cdo the heaving lifting\u201d in courageous conversations.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>When I am facilitating a family meeting, I use my beanie baby bull as a talking stick to let each person have a chance to speak. Sometimes the years of hurt and frustration erupt into tense sharing, but that is the exact moment that creates breakthroughs in understanding, tears, and a way to move to deeper clarity, and change.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><strong>Silence is bad when used as a form of revenge,<\/strong> inflicting purposeful hurt, and stopping the flow of talking and listening. Silence should not be a form of violence. As a coach, I tell my farm families that the silence needs to be broken or I will not work with them.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">People shut up for many reasons.<strong> To open them up, you need to ask questions about their \u201cwhy\u201d and come from curiosity.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">\u201cI am curious why you cannot tell me what is bothering you.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">\u201cWhat would you like me to do differently in order to re-boot our conversations?\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">\u201cI am sorry for the hurt I have caused you. Let me know now what I need to do to make amends and have meaningful talks with you.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">\u201cHelp me understand which parts of these transition expectations are really hard for you .\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">I once sat in a family meeting where the father was notorious for \u201cshutting down\u201d and cutting himself off from the communication of the family.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0<\/span>He was refusing to be part of the coaching process, so I stopped and said: \u201cYour sons are trying to be part of the legacy of this farm. <strong>Today is the day for action.<\/strong> If you choose to continue to block this process, you are going to lose your family and your farm. Choose now.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">If you do not speak, I will leave now, as I cannot work with people who use silence as a weapon.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">Longtime readers will appreciate my love for books. The best book for ending the silence and violence on your farm is \u201c<i>Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking when<\/i> <i>Stakes are High<\/i> \u201d by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, Al Switzler.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-7385 alignnone size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/Brighter-Challenge-Product-2022-12-14T185806.433.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"600\" height=\"400\" srcset=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/Brighter-Challenge-Product-2022-12-14T185806.433.png 600w, https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/Brighter-Challenge-Product-2022-12-14T185806.433-480x320.png 480w\" sizes=\"auto, (min-width: 0px) and (max-width: 480px) 480px, (min-width: 481px) 600px, 100vw\" \/><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">The authors encourage us to \u201cstart with the heart, stay focused on what you really want.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><b>What do you want for Christmas?<\/b><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">\u201cElaine, I want a happy family. I don\u2019t care what this farm is worth, I just want everyone to come home to share turkey and make great memories.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">\u201cI want my in-laws to understand that I don\u2019t feel accepted in this family. I have shut down because I am so tired of trying to have my voice heard.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">\u201cI just want my folks to quit changing their minds about the future. We need some firm written agreements, and no more empty promises for change.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">There is hope for your farm ahead. All can be calm and bright.<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li><b>Stop your all or nothing thinking<\/b>. These are polarities, issues that need to be managed. Start saying \u201cThis is why I want this, AND for me, this would be the solution. What do you think?\u2019 Help me understand where you are coming from.\u201d<\/li>\n<li><b>Make it safe to share in your presence<\/b>. Buy or find a soft toy to use as a talking stick. Write out some guidelines for your family code of conduct. \u201cIn this family, we use respectful tones, don\u2019t swear, and stay in the conversation.\u201d Avoidance is no longer an option. You always get to choose your response.<\/li>\n<li><b>Hire an outside facilitator or coach to navigate the tension,<\/b> teach you how to use a flipchart, and help you learn to paraphrase what you are really saying. Some folks find it helpful to do the meeting in a neutral space like a hotel meeting room, our coaching team can work with you on zoom.<\/li>\n<li><b>Pray about how you are going to apologize for past hurt.<\/b> The message of Christmas is that the Prince of Peace, Jesus Christ was born to reconcile man to God. If you are not a Christian, you still operate with a model of forgiveness. If you don\u2019t have any model for extending an \u2018olive branch\u201d you better get one FAST!<\/li>\n<li><b>Share your intentions<\/b>. The classic slide I share in almost every presentation is INTENT&gt;ACTION&gt;EFFECT. Why are you doing what you are doing? What actions and words are causing hurt? Do you know what effect your words or silence are having on the rest of your farm team? ASK!<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Your actions are given meaning by others, and sometimes that is the result of observations mixed with assumptions. Find out what is being assumed and talk about your intentions!<\/li>\n<li><b>Share your emotional story briefly.<\/b> Most farmers I know are very uncomfortable with sharing feelings, but they really get the facts. Your story is important, and you\u2019ll likely get more traction in the dialogue by sharing the facts. \u201cBy January 2022 you promised that would sign the transfer agreements. We are about to enter 2023, and nothing has been signed, that\u2019s why I am so distraught Dad!\u201d<\/li>\n<li><b>Agree on the points that you can agree on and then build from there<\/b>. Do you agree that you want to be a family? Some folks I coach are so angry with the family they are not willing to even talk about family issues until the business conflicts and agreements are solved first. We need to deal with the emotional factors stalling progress and change. This is done by creating a safe respectful environment to share hard things.<\/li>\n<li><b>Celebrate Christmas and Boxing Day.<\/b> Schedule a family meeting after the 25<span class=\"s1\"><sup>th<\/sup><\/span>, not on Christmas day. Find the words to Silent Night Stille Nacht on youtube.com and sing it together!<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p><span style=\"color: #662d91;\">***<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #662d91;\">Elaine Froese, CAFA, CHICoach loves to sing. May your heart be merry and bright this Christmas.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #662d91;\">Did you enjoy<em><strong> When Silent Nights don\u2019t bring peace to your farm? <\/strong><\/em>You might want to check these articles out too:<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #662d91;\"><span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2021\/12\/16\/gifts-for-this-season-that-dont-cost-money-just-the-currency-of-time\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Gifts for this season that don\u2019t cost money, just the currency of time<\/a><\/span><br \/><span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2021\/12\/02\/living-the-life-you-love-as-an-aging-farmer\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Living the life you love as an aging farmer<\/a><\/span><br \/><a href=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2022\/01\/12\/why-i-am-glad-i-took-mental-health-first-aid\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\">Why I am glad I took Mental Health First Aid<\/span><\/a><br \/><\/span><\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row disabled_on=&#8221;off|on|on&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.6&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;4_4&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.6&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_image src=&#8221;https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/Elaine-Free-Stuff-Blog-Post-Mobile.jpg&#8221; title_text=&#8221;Elaine &#8211; Free Stuff Blog Post &#8211; Mobile&#8221; url=&#8221;https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/insights\/free-stuff\/value-rocks-eisenhower-matrix\/&#8221; url_new_window=&#8221;on&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.6&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; width=&#8221;100%&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][\/et_pb_image][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row disabled_on=&#8221;on|off|off&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.6&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;4_4&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.6&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_image src=&#8221;https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/Elaine-Free-Stuff-Blog-Post-Desktop.jpg&#8221; title_text=&#8221;Elaine &#8211; Free Stuff Blog Post &#8211; Desktop&#8221; url=&#8221;https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/insights\/free-stuff\/value-rocks-eisenhower-matrix\/&#8221; url_new_window=&#8221;on&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.6&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; width=&#8221;100%&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][\/et_pb_image][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>When I was a very small farm girl, dressed in my homemade red velvet jumper, I looked forward to \u201cEdie\u201d Christmas on Boxing Day with my cousins. I recall my great-grandmother singing \u201cSilent Night\u201d to us in German. Little did I know then that I would marry into a family whose first language was German.&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":7387,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":"<iframe title=\"YouTube video player\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/o4K6bItAbCY\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe>\r\n\r\nHarvest is in full swing on our farm, and I am not there\u2026for a few days. Where is it written you cannot leave the farm during harvest? (Almost on every page of the unpublished book \u201cThe Culture of Agriculture.\u201d)\r\n\r\nIf you are one of the 2800 folks who have stumbled upon \u201cFinding Fairness in Farm Transition\u201d on my YouTube channel at Farm Family Coach, you already know I am on a mission to change mindsets in agriculture. Fairness is helping everyone in the family be successful.\r\n<p class=\"p1\">Enter Scott Armstrong and his new workbook: <i>Mind Switch Retirement Planner<\/i>.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\r\n<img class=\"aligncenter wp-image-6952 size-large\" src=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/Untitled-design-1024x512.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1024\" height=\"512\" \/>\r\n<p class=\"p1\">Armstrong is a speaker friend who shared his insights at a national financial planner September convention in Niagara Falls, the place I also journeyed to at the start of our September harvest. He uses the word \u201cretirement\u201d, for ag folks I prefer to use the term reinvention:<\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\"><strong>Here are some things to consider as you age on your farm or ranch:<\/strong><\/p>\r\n\r\n<ol class=\"ol1\">\r\n \t<li class=\"li1\"><b>What are the current roles you want to continue?<\/b> Which ones would you like to let go of? My farmer is coughing more after cleaning bins, and I am encouraging him to quit that task at age 65, which is now.<\/li>\r\n \t<li class=\"li1\"><b>Are you still passionate about farming?<\/b> Or just parts of it? Simon Sinek says, \u201cfulfillment comes when we live our lives on purpose\u201d. What is it you are doing on your farm where you lose all track of time? This summer I think my farmer lost track of mowing fields and ditches and waiting for the grain to ripen. I love to play with my grandkids and enjoy their giggles, stories, and curiosity. Play me with them is a sweet spot and I am intentional in making time for them. I am still passionate about helping farm families make intentional choices for a better quality of life and harmony through understanding.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\r\n \t<li class=\"li1\"><b>Do your passion and purpose align with your spouse\u2019s vision<\/b>? This is where it gets messy. You want to leave the farm life roles and responsibilities, but your partner does not. Not for a long time! Where is it written you cannot pursue some things in different time zones or days apart from your spouse?<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Independence is one of my core values, yet my husband respects what I need to fill my well, and I am happy when I return to the farm from my off-farm contracts and contacts. Love and respect for the other can go both ways.<\/li>\r\n \t<li class=\"li1\"><b>Adventure is big<\/b> on Scott Armstrong\u2019s workbook list. Farmers spend a lot of money on crop protection and other inputs. Many use the points from farm credit cards to fund short-term winter adventures. One of my clients is on a motorbike in the Maritimes as I write this. (Dairy farmer). Another farmer spends time in Mexico helping the poor build houses in the winter, and he wants to do more of this. Our adventures to visit friends in New Zealand, or travel with friends to Hawaii have been great times of renewal. Perhaps there is an ag tour you have been putting off. The GREAT PAUSE showed us how isolation and lack of adventure can really cramp our style, but we now have options. The most recent adventure for folks in our circle has been electric bikes. They are great for checking fields, riding down the Turtle Mountains to Boissevain, and going for a quick spin before supper. What is the adventure you have been putting off?<\/li>\r\n \t<li class=\"li1\"><b>Vitality is an energy we all want more of.<\/b> Armstrong is convinced we are only using 50% of our body\u2019s capacity. Our wonderful physician Dr. Nell shook his finger at us 5 years ago saying \u201cLook you two it\u2019s time you started having some fun. At 75 it all starts to fall apart!\u201d<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>This year I\u2019ve shed some weight via the app \u201cNOOM\u201d and am working on a better morning fitness routine. My friend, a cattle producer at age 68 does lots of stretching and 40 minutes on her elliptical every morning. She makes time for lots of hiking adventures and ensures her body is in great form. Armstrong has a great list of sleep hacks to have more renewal time.\r\nYour body is not a machine. Save money now by paying better attention to your health and making small habit changes to be healthier. Be kind to your brain and get off your devices long before bed. This will not kill you, and your marriage may be better off for the pillow talk without blue lights flashing from your cell phone or iPad, or TV.<\/li>\r\n \t<li class=\"li1\"><b>Finances:<\/b> The number one encouragement I have is to find a good financial planner who can guide you with your income streams and personal wealth as your farm assets keep growing. CAFA which is the Canadian Association of Farm Advisors has great advisors in their directory who understand the culture of agriculture and the challenges of debt servicing and the need for personal wealth options. See <span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"http:\/\/www.cafanet.ca\"><span class=\"s1\">www.cafanet.ca<\/span><\/a>.<\/span><\/li>\r\n \t<li><strong>Living Legacy:<\/strong> What do you want people to say about you BEFORE you die?\r\nI hope you have a wonderful 80th birthday party where folks can tell you in their own words and stories about how your life really was a blessing to them. Do you want to be able to set your grandkids up for financial success? Can you help fund their RESP for trades or university training? Could you help fund the local arts and culture or sports foundation of your small town? Would you be able to secretly give a \u201cleg up\u201d to a struggling single parent? Having the time to walk alongside newcomers to your community and financial support can be a huge blessing to making your town a great place to age gracefully. We live close to one of Manitoba\u2019s most beautiful small towns. The new bakeshop owner is now making sourdough bread with wheat head designs, plus great peanut butter marshmallow slices. This news may not excite you, but it is becoming a destination attraction. Sometimes it is the \u2018little things in life\u201d that make a day sweeter.<\/li>\r\n \t<li class=\"li1\"><b>Social times<\/b>. Armstrong surprised me with his challenge to question who your friends are and why. Post-Covid relationships look different, and you may be navigating the loss of long-time or childhood friends. Intentionally make a list of the folks who align with your purpose and plans for growth. I\u2019ll still a big fan of calling my far-away friends to keep relationships growing, yet I also know having tea in person is refreshing. I suspect the guys reading this are longing for more friendships beyond the farm gate. What are you DOING about it?<\/li>\r\n<\/ol>\r\n<p class=\"p1\">Find out more about Scott Armstrong\u2019s fun, practical workbook at <span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"http:\/\/www.mindswitch.ca\"><span class=\"s1\">www.mindswitch.ca<\/span><\/a><\/span>, and reach out to the Mind Switch community on <span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/profile.php?id=100063687142266\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Facebook<\/a>.<\/span> Tell him you are working on changing the mindsets in agriculture, one family at a time.<\/p>\r\n<a href=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/insights\/free-stuff\/roles-storyboard\/\"><strong><span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\">Grab your copy of the Roles Storyboard<\/span><\/strong><\/a> to <span class=\"RFZYhc\">help you understand your 6 key roles - personal, couple, family, work (farm and off farm), friends, community.<\/span>\r\n\r\n***\r\n<p class=\"p1\">Elaine Froese is happy to be writing at 30,000 feet again. Invite her to speak at your next ag event. She has 30-plus years of practical insights for farmers to have the life they\u2019ve always wanted. One day at a time.\u00a0Visit <a href=\"http:\/\/www.elainefroese.com\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\">here <\/span><\/a>or Instagram <span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/farmfamilycoach\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">@farmfamilycoach<\/a><\/span> and hit the Linktree bio. Send cards to Box 957, Boissevain MB R0K 0E0.<\/p>\r\n<strong>Follow Elaine on Social for More Helpful Farm Family Advice!<\/strong>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/farmfamilycoach\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Facebook<\/a><\/span>\r\n<span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/farmfamilycoach\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Instagram<\/a><\/span>\r\n<span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/in\/farmfamilycoach\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">LinkedIn<\/a><\/span>\r\n<span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/elainefroese\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Twitter<\/a><\/span>\r\n<span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/c\/farmfamilycoach\/videos\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">YouTube<\/a><\/span>\r\n<span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/@farmfamilycoach\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">TikTok<\/a><\/span>\r\n\r\nDid you enjoy<em><strong> How to re-invent your farm life as you age with Mind-Switch? <\/strong><\/em>You might want to check these articles out too:\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2022\/08\/25\/your-farms-emotional-tank-needs-checking\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Your Farm\u2019s Emotional Tank Needs Checking<\/a><\/span>\r\n<span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2022\/07\/14\/you-are-not-alone-2\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">You are not alone<\/a><\/span>\r\n<span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2022\/06\/30\/how-to-love-a-farmer-2\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">How to Love a Farmer<\/a><\/span>","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[288,611,289,1494,70,1496,25,74,259,753,1493,76,1465,118,179,1492,1491,1495,40,607,1490],"class_list":["post-7361","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","tag-boxing-day","tag-celebrate-christmas","tag-christmas","tag-crucial-conversations","tag-elaine-froese","tag-emotional-story","tag-farm","tag-farm-families","tag-farm-family-coach","tag-farm-founders","tag-farm-girl","tag-farmers","tag-farmers-need","tag-farming","tag-farms","tag-fierce-conversations","tag-holy-night","tag-navigate-the-tension","tag-peace","tag-silent-night","tag-silent-nights"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.9 - 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