{"id":7233,"date":"2022-12-01T12:49:44","date_gmt":"2022-12-01T20:49:44","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/?p=7233"},"modified":"2022-12-12T09:18:38","modified_gmt":"2022-12-12T17:18:38","slug":"what-i-learned-from-my-farm-divorce","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2022\/12\/01\/what-i-learned-from-my-farm-divorce\/","title":{"rendered":"What I learned from my farm divorce by Action Coach Tara Driggs"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>[et_pb_section fb_built=&#8221;1&#8243; admin_label=&#8221;section&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_row admin_label=&#8221;row&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; background_size=&#8221;initial&#8221; background_position=&#8221;top_left&#8221; background_repeat=&#8221;repeat&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;4_4&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; custom_padding=&#8221;|||&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; custom_padding__hover=&#8221;|||&#8221;][et_pb_text admin_label=&#8221;Text&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.6&#8243; background_size=&#8221;initial&#8221; background_position=&#8221;top_left&#8221; background_repeat=&#8221;repeat&#8221; hover_enabled=&#8221;0&#8243; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; sticky_enabled=&#8221;0&#8243;]<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"YouTube video player\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/3i-RVSZZJG4\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #662d91;\">Readers of this column for the past 27 years know I am willing to embrace hard topics, and farm divorce fits that category. The four farms touching ours have all experienced divorce. Country Guide, September 2022 issue mentioned the average age of divorce in Canada is 46, and the length of the marriage is 32 years. In the past 2 years, I have had more calls from folks divorcing on their farms than in the past 20 years.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #662d91;\">I encourage folks to work on their marriages and point you to <span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"http:\/\/www.onlyyouforever.com\">www.<\/a><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"http:\/\/www.onlyyouforever.com\">onlyyouforever<\/a><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"http:\/\/www.onlyyouforever.com\">.com <\/a><\/span><\/span><span style=\"color: #662d91;\">which offers zoom counselling.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #662d91;\">I have a friend who separated from her farmer until he got sober, went to AA, and embraced their \u201credemptive separation\u201d. She sought counselling, and 3 years later enjoyed a consolidated relationship with her husband, until he passed with cancer 7 years later.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #662d91;\">Divorce stories are tough, but how can we embrace lessons to help family healing?<\/span><\/p>\n<ol>\n<li><span style=\"color: #662d91;\"><strong>Seek Counselling<\/strong> to repair the marriage. If not, then divorce Coach Bob Blank is at 250-477-2662<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #662d91;\"><strong>Get financial support.<\/strong> Sara McCullough at <span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"mailto:sara@wddevelopment.ca\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">sara@wddevelopment.ca<\/a> <\/span>is a fee-for-service planner who has worked with my divorcing farm clients.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #662d91;\"><strong>Have excellent legal advice early in the process.<\/strong> One legal professional suggested drawing a large sum of money $100K, to navigate the financial roadblocks before you separate. Nasty credit bill stories abound. Get clear on how you are going to manage during the process.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #662d91;\"><strong>Solidify your emotional support group.<\/strong> Divorce crystallizes who your true friends are in small towns. Local or regional self-help groups can support you without judgment.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #662d91;\"><strong>Practice extreme self-care.<\/strong> Listen to the <a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">OYF podcast<\/a> for free encouragement. Find a mental health worker.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #662d91;\"><strong>Be transparent with your accountant<\/strong> and know your personal assets.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #662d91;\"><strong>Ask for help, this is a long journey.<\/strong> Be a courageous friend to support the kids. Listen well.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p><span style=\"color: #662d91;\">We need to seek more understanding to learn how to walk alongside farm families who are experiencing the breakup of their marriage and the farm business. Tara Driggs has graciously spent hours compiling her insights from her farm divorce to educate all of us.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #662d91;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-7245 alignnone size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/Brighter-Challenge-Product-2022-11-30T151319.953.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"600\" height=\"400\" srcset=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/Brighter-Challenge-Product-2022-11-30T151319.953.png 600w, https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/Brighter-Challenge-Product-2022-11-30T151319.953-480x320.png 480w\" sizes=\"auto, (min-width: 0px) and (max-width: 480px) 480px, (min-width: 481px) 600px, 100vw\" \/><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #662d91;\"><strong>Here is her story:<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #662d91;\">\u201cWhen asked to share my experience, I wasn\u2019t sure I wanted to. Writing this article has been hard and has brought layers of grief and tears I thought were behind me. But through the tears, the belief that my story has the potential to help someone else has propelled me forward.<strong><br \/><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #662d91;\">I grew up in Montana, a 4th generation ranch kid in a family that embraced and encouraged education and contribution by men and women in our operation. I married into a 3rd generation grain farm in Saskatchewan with different beliefs and roles. I embraced my love of agriculture and the mutual dream my spouse and I shared. We built an operation with combined efforts and the help of his family and mine. We focused energy where we were skilled, and together we were successful.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #662d91;\">I believe in multi-generational agriculture. It can be a wonderful way of life. It DOES take hard work, a lot of it. You must be willing to DO the hard work. In the end, when I made the choice to leave, it was heartbreaking and scary. These are some of the steps I went through in the process.<\/span><\/p>\n<ol>\n<li><span style=\"color: #662d91;\"><strong>Recognizing I needed to leave<br \/><\/strong>There is a tipping point when you decide you need to leave, whether that\u2019s the marriage, the farm, or both may not be clear. We had struggled with issues in the marriage, but our common goals kept us moving forward. The day I wrecked a knee in the lambing field was when I recognized something needed to change. Physically I could not continue with livestock in the fashion I desired which forced me to consider other options. Seeking legal and financial advice at this stage helped me prioritize my health and the well-being of the children.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #662d91;\"><strong>Acting<br \/><\/strong>The next steps focused on obtaining finances for and locating housing, getting the kids started in new schools, and continuing the operation of the farm. At the time it became apparent the marriage would not survive. The process that followed was the most difficult I\u2019ve ever been through.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #662d91;\"><strong>Fear, isolation, and finding help<br \/><\/strong>I went through an uprooting of my values. If I had truly married for life, for better or worse, what did that mean? What about my faith commitment? Even with a strong family background, education, and skills, I was terrified. I lost my sense of belonging, my sense of self. I spent over 20 years as part of his family and community. It was the only home my children had known. Statistics of the impact of divorce on kids is scary. What was I doing to my children? It weighed heavy on me that I was the first in my family to divorce, as was he. Was I was letting down my parents?<\/span><br \/><span style=\"color: #662d91;\">He was surrounded by immediate family and his home community. Moving into town meant I was starting over. I was 500 miles from my closest family. Whether true or not, the perception he had ample support, and I did not, worsened the feeling of isolation. Further, I felt outcast and judged by many people in the community, including family members, for a decision that was private and extremely painful. The fact that many said nothing was harder than I imagined. I was in pain and my children were in pain. For those who aren\u2019t sure, a simple hello can be an act of compassion. I fully acknowledge and remember those who did express compassion to me. I am slowly and gratefully reestablishing some of those connections.<\/span><br \/><span style=\"color: #662d91;\">I have a deep love for rural life and moving was hard to grasp. Moving meant leaving everything behind, home, work, family &amp; community. Having a support system was crucial. I obtained support through my family doctor, mental health and addictions support groups, and personal counseling. I sought support for our children through counseling options, school staff, and other local resources.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #662d91;\"><strong>Finances and finding work<br \/><\/strong>My partner and I had mutual trust and good communication about financial decisions. With a business degree, I understood the finances and was primarily responsible for managing them. Most of our accounts were joint. I didn\u2019t foresee that as a problem but as trust eroded It became problematic.<\/span><br \/><span style=\"color: #662d91;\">Initially, I continued my role with finances, and we began decisions about the livestock. Eventually, we chose to sell my sheep flock. When loading 17 years of your life\u2019s work on semis, it\u2019s a hard day. It\u2019s another layer of grief.<\/span><br \/><span style=\"color: #662d91;\">With 15 years of teaching experience, I thought I would return to teaching. That proved difficult. I was re-entering the job market at age 50, with multiple degrees, subsequently higher pay, and outdated skills from leaving 7 years previously to focus on our farm and children. Additionally, it was difficult to return to employment after successful self-employment.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #662d91;\"><strong>Legal Steps and obtaining a settlement<br \/><\/strong>Three years later, after mediation, then collaborative law, we ended up in the costly courts. Ultimately, I wanted a settlement that allowed everyone involved to continue forward. I did not want him or his extended family to suffer because of a breakdown in our personal relationship. The reality is everyone hurts.<\/span><br \/><span style=\"color: #662d91;\">In the final days of reaching what I believed to be an equitable settlement, these are the values I focused on: He loves to farm and so does his family. I wanted them to be able to continue. They were my family and remain a part of my children\u2019s family. Everyone involved has value.<strong> I HAVE VALUE!!<\/strong> I contributed over 2 decades of my life, skills, love, sweat, and tears to our dream and now I didn\u2019t get to live out that dream. Further, continuing the farm legacy to the next generation was potentially in jeopardy. I accepted that, but equitable settlement remained a must. I believed that was possible and that I would do everything in my power to help that happen. Equitable does not mean equal. You MUST be flexible to an arrangement that allows both of you to continue forward. That does NOT mean the person leaving should have to start over completely to make sure the family farm continues.<\/span><br \/><span style=\"color: #662d91;\">Through the years of raising children during marriage breakdown, personal health challenges, difficulty obtaining work, financial uncertainty, and the legal and costly work of settlement; my goal was to stay true to those values. I had no idea the 6 years following my departure from the farm would pull on every ounce of strength to accomplish that goal. And when I thought I had nothing left I would have to dig deeper. Hard decisions were made. Eventually, a settlement was reached. In June of 2022, the pasture I began loving and nurturing in 1995 was sold. More tears flowed. More healing is ahead.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #662d91;\"><strong>Where do I go from here?<br \/><\/strong>We are all moving forward. My oldest son is in Saskatoon working and deciding about further education. My daughter is in Halifax pursuing her dream of dentistry. My youngest started high school loves welding and continues to spend half his time at the farm. The farm continues and both my sons helped with the harvest. I am still trying to get my feet under me. I accept temporary teaching contracts when available. My finances are more stable, and I am developing a new direction. My path led me to business coaching certification and the joy of contributing to the success of other business owners. I am a healthier, happier person. My passion remains with agriculture and has evolved to encompass women in business.\u201d<strong><br \/><\/strong><\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p><span style=\"color: #662d91;\">***<\/span><span style=\"color: #662d91;\"><\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span style=\"color: #662d91;\">Tara Driggs can be reached <span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"https:\/\/taradriggs.actioncoach.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">here<\/a><\/span>. Elaine Froese and her team are here to help you find harmony through understanding just by clicking <span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/farm-family-coach\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">here<\/a><\/span>.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #662d91;\">Did you enjoy<em><strong> What I learned from my farm divorce? <\/strong><\/em>You might want to check these articles out too:<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #662d91;\"><span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2022\/06\/30\/how-to-love-a-farmer-2\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">How to Love a Farmer<\/a><\/span><br \/><span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2020\/07\/21\/dealing-depression-reflections-quiet-chair\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Dealing with Depression: Reflections from the Quiet Chair<\/a><\/span><br \/><a href=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2019\/10\/16\/6-important-roles-farm-wives-rejuvenate\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\">Rejuvenating Roles of Women in Agriculture<\/span><\/a><br \/><\/span><\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row disabled_on=&#8221;off|on|on&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.6&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;4_4&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.6&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_image src=&#8221;https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/Elaine-Free-Stuff-Blog-Post-Mobile.jpg&#8221; title_text=&#8221;Elaine &#8211; Free Stuff Blog Post &#8211; Mobile&#8221; url=&#8221;https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/insights\/free-stuff\/value-rocks-eisenhower-matrix\/&#8221; url_new_window=&#8221;on&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.6&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; width=&#8221;100%&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][\/et_pb_image][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row disabled_on=&#8221;on|off|off&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.6&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;4_4&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.6&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_image src=&#8221;https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/Elaine-Free-Stuff-Blog-Post-Desktop.jpg&#8221; title_text=&#8221;Elaine &#8211; Free Stuff Blog Post &#8211; Desktop&#8221; url=&#8221;https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/insights\/free-stuff\/value-rocks-eisenhower-matrix\/&#8221; url_new_window=&#8221;on&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.6&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; width=&#8221;100%&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][\/et_pb_image][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Readers of this column for the past 27 years know I am willing to embrace hard topics, and farm divorce fits that category. The four farms touching ours have all experienced divorce. Country Guide, September 2022 issue mentioned the average age of divorce in Canada is 46, and the length of the marriage is 32&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":7245,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":"<iframe title=\"YouTube video player\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/o4K6bItAbCY\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe>\r\n\r\nHarvest is in full swing on our farm, and I am not there\u2026for a few days. Where is it written you cannot leave the farm during harvest? (Almost on every page of the unpublished book \u201cThe Culture of Agriculture.\u201d)\r\n\r\nIf you are one of the 2800 folks who have stumbled upon \u201cFinding Fairness in Farm Transition\u201d on my YouTube channel at Farm Family Coach, you already know I am on a mission to change mindsets in agriculture. Fairness is helping everyone in the family be successful.\r\n<p class=\"p1\">Enter Scott Armstrong and his new workbook: <i>Mind Switch Retirement Planner<\/i>.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\r\n<img class=\"aligncenter wp-image-6952 size-large\" src=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/Untitled-design-1024x512.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1024\" height=\"512\" \/>\r\n<p class=\"p1\">Armstrong is a speaker friend who shared his insights at a national financial planner September convention in Niagara Falls, the place I also journeyed to at the start of our September harvest. He uses the word \u201cretirement\u201d, for ag folks I prefer to use the term reinvention:<\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\"><strong>Here are some things to consider as you age on your farm or ranch:<\/strong><\/p>\r\n\r\n<ol class=\"ol1\">\r\n \t<li class=\"li1\"><b>What are the current roles you want to continue?<\/b> Which ones would you like to let go of? My farmer is coughing more after cleaning bins, and I am encouraging him to quit that task at age 65, which is now.<\/li>\r\n \t<li class=\"li1\"><b>Are you still passionate about farming?<\/b> Or just parts of it? Simon Sinek says, \u201cfulfillment comes when we live our lives on purpose\u201d. What is it you are doing on your farm where you lose all track of time? This summer I think my farmer lost track of mowing fields and ditches and waiting for the grain to ripen. I love to play with my grandkids and enjoy their giggles, stories, and curiosity. Play me with them is a sweet spot and I am intentional in making time for them. I am still passionate about helping farm families make intentional choices for a better quality of life and harmony through understanding.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\r\n \t<li class=\"li1\"><b>Do your passion and purpose align with your spouse\u2019s vision<\/b>? This is where it gets messy. You want to leave the farm life roles and responsibilities, but your partner does not. Not for a long time! Where is it written you cannot pursue some things in different time zones or days apart from your spouse?<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Independence is one of my core values, yet my husband respects what I need to fill my well, and I am happy when I return to the farm from my off-farm contracts and contacts. Love and respect for the other can go both ways.<\/li>\r\n \t<li class=\"li1\"><b>Adventure is big<\/b> on Scott Armstrong\u2019s workbook list. Farmers spend a lot of money on crop protection and other inputs. Many use the points from farm credit cards to fund short-term winter adventures. One of my clients is on a motorbike in the Maritimes as I write this. (Dairy farmer). Another farmer spends time in Mexico helping the poor build houses in the winter, and he wants to do more of this. Our adventures to visit friends in New Zealand, or travel with friends to Hawaii have been great times of renewal. Perhaps there is an ag tour you have been putting off. The GREAT PAUSE showed us how isolation and lack of adventure can really cramp our style, but we now have options. The most recent adventure for folks in our circle has been electric bikes. They are great for checking fields, riding down the Turtle Mountains to Boissevain, and going for a quick spin before supper. What is the adventure you have been putting off?<\/li>\r\n \t<li class=\"li1\"><b>Vitality is an energy we all want more of.<\/b> Armstrong is convinced we are only using 50% of our body\u2019s capacity. Our wonderful physician Dr. Nell shook his finger at us 5 years ago saying \u201cLook you two it\u2019s time you started having some fun. At 75 it all starts to fall apart!\u201d<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>This year I\u2019ve shed some weight via the app \u201cNOOM\u201d and am working on a better morning fitness routine. My friend, a cattle producer at age 68 does lots of stretching and 40 minutes on her elliptical every morning. She makes time for lots of hiking adventures and ensures her body is in great form. Armstrong has a great list of sleep hacks to have more renewal time.\r\nYour body is not a machine. Save money now by paying better attention to your health and making small habit changes to be healthier. Be kind to your brain and get off your devices long before bed. This will not kill you, and your marriage may be better off for the pillow talk without blue lights flashing from your cell phone or iPad, or TV.<\/li>\r\n \t<li class=\"li1\"><b>Finances:<\/b> The number one encouragement I have is to find a good financial planner who can guide you with your income streams and personal wealth as your farm assets keep growing. CAFA which is the Canadian Association of Farm Advisors has great advisors in their directory who understand the culture of agriculture and the challenges of debt servicing and the need for personal wealth options. See <span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"http:\/\/www.cafanet.ca\"><span class=\"s1\">www.cafanet.ca<\/span><\/a>.<\/span><\/li>\r\n \t<li><strong>Living Legacy:<\/strong> What do you want people to say about you BEFORE you die?\r\nI hope you have a wonderful 80th birthday party where folks can tell you in their own words and stories about how your life really was a blessing to them. Do you want to be able to set your grandkids up for financial success? Can you help fund their RESP for trades or university training? Could you help fund the local arts and culture or sports foundation of your small town? Would you be able to secretly give a \u201cleg up\u201d to a struggling single parent? Having the time to walk alongside newcomers to your community and financial support can be a huge blessing to making your town a great place to age gracefully. We live close to one of Manitoba\u2019s most beautiful small towns. The new bakeshop owner is now making sourdough bread with wheat head designs, plus great peanut butter marshmallow slices. This news may not excite you, but it is becoming a destination attraction. Sometimes it is the \u2018little things in life\u201d that make a day sweeter.<\/li>\r\n \t<li class=\"li1\"><b>Social times<\/b>. Armstrong surprised me with his challenge to question who your friends are and why. Post-Covid relationships look different, and you may be navigating the loss of long-time or childhood friends. Intentionally make a list of the folks who align with your purpose and plans for growth. I\u2019ll still a big fan of calling my far-away friends to keep relationships growing, yet I also know having tea in person is refreshing. I suspect the guys reading this are longing for more friendships beyond the farm gate. What are you DOING about it?<\/li>\r\n<\/ol>\r\n<p class=\"p1\">Find out more about Scott Armstrong\u2019s fun, practical workbook at <span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"http:\/\/www.mindswitch.ca\"><span class=\"s1\">www.mindswitch.ca<\/span><\/a><\/span>, and reach out to the Mind Switch community on <span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/profile.php?id=100063687142266\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Facebook<\/a>.<\/span> Tell him you are working on changing the mindsets in agriculture, one family at a time.<\/p>\r\n<a href=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/insights\/free-stuff\/roles-storyboard\/\"><strong><span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\">Grab your copy of the Roles Storyboard<\/span><\/strong><\/a> to <span class=\"RFZYhc\">help you understand your 6 key roles - personal, couple, family, work (farm and off farm), friends, community.<\/span>\r\n\r\n***\r\n<p class=\"p1\">Elaine Froese is happy to be writing at 30,000 feet again. Invite her to speak at your next ag event. She has 30-plus years of practical insights for farmers to have the life they\u2019ve always wanted. One day at a time.\u00a0Visit <a href=\"http:\/\/www.elainefroese.com\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\">here <\/span><\/a>or Instagram <span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/farmfamilycoach\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">@farmfamilycoach<\/a><\/span> and hit the Linktree bio. Send cards to Box 957, Boissevain MB R0K 0E0.<\/p>\r\n<strong>Follow Elaine on Social for More Helpful Farm Family Advice!<\/strong>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/farmfamilycoach\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Facebook<\/a><\/span>\r\n<span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/farmfamilycoach\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Instagram<\/a><\/span>\r\n<span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/in\/farmfamilycoach\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">LinkedIn<\/a><\/span>\r\n<span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/elainefroese\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Twitter<\/a><\/span>\r\n<span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/c\/farmfamilycoach\/videos\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">YouTube<\/a><\/span>\r\n<span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/@farmfamilycoach\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">TikTok<\/a><\/span>\r\n\r\nDid you enjoy<em><strong> How to re-invent your farm life as you age with Mind-Switch? <\/strong><\/em>You might want to check these articles out too:\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2022\/08\/25\/your-farms-emotional-tank-needs-checking\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Your Farm\u2019s Emotional Tank Needs Checking<\/a><\/span>\r\n<span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2022\/07\/14\/you-are-not-alone-2\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">You are not alone<\/a><\/span>\r\n<span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2022\/06\/30\/how-to-love-a-farmer-2\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">How to Love a Farmer<\/a><\/span>","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[1480,631,70,1478,25,1203,942,259,35,753,76,1466,1465,118,179,1020,555,1482,1474,1476,1481,1477,1479,1475],"class_list":["post-7233","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","tag-accountant","tag-divorce","tag-elaine-froese","tag-emotional-support-group","tag-farm","tag-farm-businesses","tag-farm-divorce","tag-farm-family-coach","tag-farm-folks","tag-farm-founders","tag-farmers","tag-farmers-age","tag-farmers-need","tag-farming","tag-farms","tag-fear","tag-finances","tag-finding-work","tag-folks-divorcing","tag-get-financial-support","tag-isolation","tag-legal-advice","tag-practice-extreme-self-care","tag-seek-counselling"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>What I learned from my farm divorce by Action Coach Tara Driggs - Elaine Froese | Canada\u2019s Farm Whisperer | Your go-to expert for farm families who want better communication and conflict resolution to secure a successful farm transition<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Readers of this column for the past 27 years know I am willing to embrace hard topics, and farm divorce fits that category. 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