{"id":6551,"date":"2022-04-21T06:23:37","date_gmt":"2022-04-21T14:23:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/?p=6551"},"modified":"2022-04-21T06:24:15","modified_gmt":"2022-04-21T14:24:15","slug":"how-to-write-a-will-with-joy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2022\/04\/21\/how-to-write-a-will-with-joy\/","title":{"rendered":"How to write a will with joy!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"How to Write a Will with Joy\" width=\"1080\" height=\"608\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/k8BfcHmHCeA?feature=oembed\"  allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>I want you to read this column and act. I recently did a virtual presentation with 120 farmers and many of them did not have wills in place.<\/p>\n<p>Stop procrastination now!<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019ve encountered folks who are all dealing with different kinds of loss. One is a husband whose wife is suffering from a stroke. One is a woman whose nephew is suffering from a mental illness. One who has just buried her mother a few short weeks ago, and is thankful that she got to celebrate her loved mum\u2019s life with a funeral. She is also glad the will was in place.<\/p>\n<p>Everyone has a story of loss. We are all going to die. I recall the tombstone in an Irish cemetery that said \u201cMeet me in heaven\u201d. That\u2019s a joyous thought to Christ-followers who accept the gift of Resurrection Sunday that we recently celebrated.<\/p>\n<p>April is wills month. How on earth can you write a will with joy?<\/p>\n<p>1)<strong> Know that writing a will document and signing it will not kill you<\/strong>. A 1997 University of Guelph study discovered 20% of farmers did not have a will for reasoning, \u201cif I make I will then I will die !\u201d. Pretty strange logic if you ask me. Writing a will did not kill my mother at 65, an asthma infection did. During the season of her passing, (she was palliative for 2 weeks) her new drafted will was not signed, as she was comatose. Even the best laid out transition plans are derailed when new documents are not signed.<\/p>\n<p>2)<strong> Have you signed your current will?<\/strong> Do it. Remember to finish off the work you started with your lawyer. It will likely take 3 visits to the law office. The good news is you can now visit your lawyer over Zoom and can sign the documents digitally, so you don\u2019t have to physically leave your remote farm to get this done! One visit to draft the will or update your current one. A next visit to talk about the new draft to make sure it meets your intentions. Finally, a third visit to sign the will and take your copy home to read to your family. Ask on the first call to make your appointment what the range of costs is going to be. The more complex your will is, the more expensive, but it is still a worthy investment.<\/p>\n<p>3)<strong> Seriously, Elaine, do I have to read it to my family?<\/strong> This is where the joy part comes in. Most folks I know don\u2019t relish surprises. When you drafted your will you had to choose a trustworthy executor. Hopefully, this is an adult successor or adults in your family circle who are good with details, timely, and accountable for their actions. One of our executors is a lawyer family member plus our successor. In order to get ready to execute a will with timely skill, it helps to know what is in it. Our son knows which law office holds the original will and where the copies are in my office. When people know the plans you have upon your death, you get to explain your intent as to why you laid out your wishes the way the will states. This is a healthy conversation where you get to talk about your \u201cwhy\u201d in how you did your will.<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-6555 \" src=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/IMG_1530-1-300x225.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"422\" height=\"317\" \/><\/p>\n<p>4)<strong> Eliminate confusion of terms.<\/strong> I recently coached a farm family who found an older will years after the father\u2019s passing. This created huge conflict when the family realized that Dad had changed his original intentions. Are folks allowed to change their plans? Yes. The problem is when dead people\u2019s wishes keep fueling the fire of conflict for those beneficiaries who have made financial decisions based on the current reality of the legal will presented. I am not a lawyer, and this column is not to be taken as legal advice. I leave that good work to my CAFA colleagues who are excellent agricultural lawyers. Find them <a href=\"https:\/\/www.cafanet.ca\/advisor-listing\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">here<\/a> It is a good idea to destroy old copies of old will documents. I am a great advocate of giving gifts with a warm hand, not a cold one.<\/p>\n<p>5)<strong> Educate your executors.<\/strong> Use an executor checklist to get ready to be a great executor. Email me at <a href=\"mailto:elaine@elainefroese.com\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">elaine@elainefroese.com<\/a> and I will send you Laura McDougald-Williams\u2019 checklist for executors. She\u2019s a rural lawyer who believes in getting ready. All lawyers I have met say \u201cNo way\u201d to handwritten wills, so take your handwritten wishes to a legal office and have a legal will written up. DIY is great for house renovations but not for your multi-million-dollar estate. YIKES! I met this rancher this winter whose wife has gone to get her will done properly, but he is still dragging his feet!<\/p>\n<p>6)<strong> Watch the \u201cFinding Fairness in Farm Transition\u201d video<\/strong> on YouTube at \u201cElaine Froese Farm Family Coach\u201d. I suspect you feel that writing a will with joy is impossible because you and your spouse are fighting about what to give your children. Firstly, you can draft your own will if your spouse refuses to do theirs. The deceased who dies intestate (without a will ) is the one going to hoop the other spouse with chaos! I embrace the definition of fairness as \u201chelping everyone be successful\u201d. Ask each of your beneficiaries to tell you what they expect from your estate, and ask \u201cWhat does fairness look like to you ?\u201d Your assets are yours. You get to choose regardless of the expectations of adult beneficiaries.<\/p>\n<p>7)<strong> Find joy in giving gifts with a warm hand and tell the story behind the gift.<\/strong> Don\u2019t forget the heritage gifts from the garden plants. My mother had an amazing lily collection that met sudden death when sprayed with Roundup. I was not asked if I would like to transplant her decades of work to my garden. I did receive her mink coat 5 years before her passing, with her blessing, and I wear that coat with great memories of my mom\u2019s love for me. The new Swedish book on \u201cdeath de-cluttering\u201d says at age 65 we should downsize our stuff as a gift to our children so that they don\u2019t have to wade through it when we pass on. When you write your will, you can add a letter or list of possessions that you wish to go to certain folks. It would be helpful for the executor to have a copy of this list. I asked my family which pieces of art they would like and was surprised that only one piece was valued by my sister, and one by my children. Your treasured stuff might be junk to others!<\/p>\n<p>8)<strong> Joy comes when you know you have enough money.<\/strong> Outdated wills were made decades ago when interest rates were different and land values much lower. A good financial plan to carry you into your nineties is wise. If you are going to run out of money, check with your beneficiaries and children to see who is going to help you continue to pay bills as you age and require more care. \u201cThat was then, and this is now\u201d may be the response to promises you made when finances were flush and bread was under a dollar! Have a conversation being very transparent about your financial concerns with your family, and your financial planner. Remember to support charities if you have the means to do so.<\/p>\n<p>If you are like the 53% in my seminar who did not have a will, I challenge you to get it done by Canada Day. Email me to tell me your will is signed, and I will mail you a digital copy of my award-winning book \u201cPlanting the Seed of Hope\u201d.<\/p>\n<p>***<\/p>\n<p>Elaine Froese has a signed up to date will.<\/p>\n<p>Life is precious. Death is not to be feared. Click <a href=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/shop\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">here<\/a> for communication resources to get the tough conversations started. Her coaching team is ready to help your family find harmony through understanding.<\/p>\n<p>Did you enjoy<em><strong> How to write a will with joy! <\/strong><\/em>You might want to check these articles out too:<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2021\/09\/09\/a-new-frame-to-see-transition-possibility-and-movement\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">A New Frame to see Transition Possibility and Movement<\/a><br \/>\n<a href=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2021\/04\/01\/creating-a-sense-of-urgency-is-a-good-thing\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Creating a sense of urgency is a good thing<\/a><br \/>\n<a href=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2021\/08\/12\/how-to-talk-to-your-boomer-dad-and-mom\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">How to talk to your Boomer Dad and Mom<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&nbsp; I want you to read this column and act. I recently did a virtual presentation with 120 farmers and many of them did not have wills in place. Stop procrastination now! I\u2019ve encountered folks who are all dealing with different kinds of loss. One is a husband whose wife is suffering from a stroke.&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":6553,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[1324,1325,1326,1330,1331,1328,1327,1322,1323,103,1319,1329,1320,1321,1332,232,771,772],"class_list":["post-6551","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","tag-current-will","tag-draft-your-will","tag-eliminate-confusion","tag-enough-money","tag-financial-planner","tag-find-joy-in-giving-gifts","tag-finding-fairness-in-farm-transition","tag-meet-me-in-heaven","tag-mental-illness","tag-money","tag-stop-procrastination","tag-story-behind-the-gift","tag-story-of-loss","tag-stroke","tag-support-charities","tag-will","tag-write-a-will","tag-writing-a-will"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>How to write a will with joy! - Elaine Froese | Canada\u2019s Farm Whisperer | Your go-to expert for farm families who want better communication and conflict resolution to secure a successful farm transition<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"April is wills month. 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