{"id":4763,"date":"2012-09-15T19:47:30","date_gmt":"2012-09-15T19:47:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/elainefroese.primeconcepts.com\/blog\/?p=48"},"modified":"2012-09-15T19:47:30","modified_gmt":"2012-09-15T19:47:30","slug":"is-the-farm-terminally-ill","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2012\/09\/15\/is-the-farm-terminally-ill\/","title":{"rendered":"Is the Farm Terminally Ill?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>What do you want when your cattle farm feels like it is terminally ill?<\/p>\n<p>Hope. Hope that you will find a way to make things work again.<\/p>\n<p>Where is a sense of hope when you feel like your farm is dying?<\/p>\n<p>As a believer, my hope is in God, that He will make a way.\u00a0 As an encourager, I ask you to ponder and consider how to process and live\u00a0 with depressed livestock market prices.. As a farmer, I\u2019ve learned to separate out the things I have control over, and the things I don\u2019t.<\/p>\n<p>Glean from the people with terminal illness, and see if some of their wisdom can transfer to the farm that feels like it is terminally ill:<!--more--><\/p>\n<p>\u201cBe aware that bad news is always bad news, even if it is given in a respectful, compassionate manner. No one wants to hear that they themselves or a loved one is dying.\u201dsays Dr. David Kuhl, author of <em>What the Dying Want (<\/em>Doubleday,2002<em>)<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Dr. Kuhl uses the stories of terminally ill patients. His chapter headings can be touch points for farm families who don\u2019t want to see themselves as victims, but look for opportunities to cope with the current crush of anxiety:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Time and anxiety<\/span>: Kuhl says      \u201canxiety can be reduced by introducing certainty.\u201d\u00a0 Kuhl encourages a plan for care and a      life review . What plans do you have to continue to take care of yourself,      physically, emotionally, spiritually, and financially ?\u00a0 There is no certainty when markets will      improve. What certainty can your family grab hold of?\u00a0 Embrace the attitude that you will seek      support from one another , neighbours, and friends. Now is not the time to      be fiercely independent. Communicate with your creditors. It is okay to      ask for help. If you\u2019re a grain farmer, visit your cattle farming      neighbour and walk alongside.<\/li>\n<li><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Being Touched, Being in Touch<\/span>. High      stress sometimes causes people to physically pull away, when the best      thing might be a hug or a handshake, and a phone call.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Speaking the Truth <\/span>People have a hard time talking about imminent death. Telling      my father that mom was never coming home again wasn\u2019t easy, but it had to      be done. When I met a cattle producer acquaintance she said \u201cwe\u2019re still      in denial\u201d. How can you be truthful with your family when you aren\u2019t even      sure where the farm is at ? Start by calling a family meeting. Let      everyone have a chance to speak, listen, and flow with the conversation.      If you are a \u201cfamily who doesn\u2019t talk\u201d, call someone in to help facilitate      the meeting. Dr. Kuhl says visiting a dying relative is always better done      \u201csooner rather than later\u201d. Talking about the impact of the farm\u2019s      financial scenario is best done today, with farming and non-farming      family.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Who am I ?<\/span> You call yourself a farmer. That\u2019s what you do for a living. Who are you as a human being?\u00a0 \u201cThe farm is my husband\u2019s life.\u201d When a severe crisis hits, many things come into question. Tell your story to a trusted listener. Call the farm stress line.\u00a0 No one chooses to have financial failures. This feeling of being blocked and stuck is a scenario that doesn\u2019t have easy answers. Your goal is to keep your personal integrity through a very tough time. Your cash flow has been crunched, but you can choose not to compromise your character.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Transcendence<\/span> \u2013the spiritual      dimension. One of Kuhl\u2019s co-researchers found great comfort in the slogan      \u201cLet go and let God.\u201d This slogan has been \u201cdescribed as easy to say and      difficult to follow\u201d says Dr. Kuhl.\u00a0      Feelings of grief come with a deep sense of loss. Loss of income,      loss of energy and hope for the future are tough things to process. Life      on the farm with heat, hoppers, and hungry stock is very hard.<\/li>\n<li>Plan to continue talking things out with family, friends and      financial players. Consider your character, integrity and what really      gives your\u00a0 life meaning. Pray .      Play with your grandchildren. Read Kuhl\u2019s book.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>What do you want when your cattle farm feels like it is terminally ill? Hope. Hope that you will find a way to make things work again. Where is a sense of hope when you feel like your farm is dying? As a believer, my hope is in God, that He will make a way.\u00a0&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[357,74,76,118,26],"class_list":["post-4763","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","tag-cattle-farm","tag-farm-families","tag-farmers","tag-farming","tag-farming-family"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Is the Farm Terminally Ill? - Elaine Froese | Canada\u2019s Farm Whisperer | Your go-to expert for farm families who want better communication and conflict resolution to secure a successful farm transition<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2012\/09\/15\/is-the-farm-terminally-ill\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Is the Farm Terminally Ill? - Elaine Froese | Canada\u2019s Farm Whisperer | Your go-to expert for farm families who want better communication and conflict resolution to secure a successful farm transition\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"What do you want when your cattle farm feels like it is terminally ill? 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