{"id":4624,"date":"2021-05-20T10:18:10","date_gmt":"2021-05-20T16:18:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/?p=4624"},"modified":"2021-05-20T10:18:10","modified_gmt":"2021-05-20T16:18:10","slug":"clear-concise-communication","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2021\/05\/20\/clear-concise-communication\/","title":{"rendered":"Clear Concise Communication"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"Clear, Concise Communication\" width=\"1080\" height=\"608\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/kNLuNaOPmwk?feature=oembed\"  allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\"><em>\u201cElaine, I am feeling paralyzed and overwhelmed with this farm transfer thing.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\"><em>\u201cHow do I talk to the kids without emotions running wild?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>\u201cWe do fine until we try to get a sit-down family meeting with an agenda, then no one is really honest with what is going on here.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Communication that is clear, and concise, well \u2013understood, and received by the listeners is the goal. Bren\u00e9 Brown says \u201c<strong>Being clear is kind<\/strong>.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>My friend <a href=\"http:\/\/www.decisionadvancement.com\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Randy Park<\/a> has an amazing mind for dissecting the decision advancement process and challenging us about how we make decisions. Here\u2019s Randy\u2019s perspective:<\/p>\n<p><em>\u201c Filters are the thinking filters that we each use automatically and often unconsciously when making decisions. They are formed from our beliefs, experiences, education, biases, and assumptions. Filters are very useful in blocking out extraneous information and are very helpful in making quick decisions. But unless we are careful, they can block out important information, especially for situations we have never experienced before.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>We all have individual filters; as well when we get together in any sort of group we form collective filters which can result in everyone thinking the same way. On the other hand, if you bring together people who have diverse experiences and education, their different filters can result in better decisions.\u201d\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong>So, let\u2019s be honest about the filters we carry as farmers.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><em>\u201cAs the main manager, I should be able to give leadership to this farm transfer process, but why do I feel so overwhelmed?\u201d<\/em> My guess is that you filter many things as problems to be solved with quick fixes. This is what I term the \u201cRoundup\u201d solution, things should change within 10 days, like Roundup, and be gone. The process of business continuance is multi-layered with many types of plans overlapping, and the process is done when you die. Then it becomes an estate issue.<\/p>\n<p><em>\u201cThere\u2019s too much drama on this farm. We yell, walk away, and avoid conflicts at all costs.\u201d<\/em> Here you have a conflict avoidance filter. Take it off and see conflict as a great way to get clear with people as long as you stay in the conversation, calmly, for as long as it takes to find reconciliation and resolution. If you tell me the ages of the fighters, I can make some educated guesses as to the <strong>\u201cwhy\u201d<\/strong> behind the drama.<\/p>\n<p>Those of us who have a family history of confrontation or collaboration to be direct about the issues have a filter that accepts heated talk as a good thing, not something to be avoided. Filters are formed by our beliefs. Do you have a model of forgiveness in your belief system that will help you embrace conflict and offer an apology or make repairs to the communication tears in your farm team?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Just because there is drama does not mean you have to attend the performance!<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><em>\u201cMorning is the best time to get the work done around here.\u201d<\/em> Really? Did you have a late night last night or a short one with cranky children and seeding hassles?<\/p>\n<p>Today\u2019s young parents have different filters around the need for parental care by both spouses, and their day of work starts later than yours. They too are highly scheduled, but they don\u2019t see the need to justify their choices to you like the farm boss. Their filter is based on family first, farm works second, within reason. The problem is that you haven\u2019t tried to reason with them or check out the experiences of being an early worker on your farm when others are just \u201cwaking up\u201d at midday and are in gear late into the night. Are we allowing people to be part of the team with different circadian rhythms and work styles?<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-4629 aligncenter\" src=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Copy-of-Live-Brighter-Challenge-Product-4.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"600\" height=\"400\" srcset=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Copy-of-Live-Brighter-Challenge-Product-4.png 600w, https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Copy-of-Live-Brighter-Challenge-Product-4-480x320.png 480w\" sizes=\"auto, (min-width: 0px) and (max-width: 480px) 480px, (min-width: 481px) 600px, 100vw\" \/><\/p>\n<p><em>\u201cWe need to work smarter, not harder around here.\u201d<\/em> This might be an education filter where new technologies are employed to make the jobs easier, more timely, and efficient. We certainly don\u2019t want to go back to paper ledgers instead of computerized accounting. But we still all need to communicate and develop systems for keeping track of important papers, bills, tax receipts, etc. What habits (bad habits) are killing your communication system? We\u2019ve to use labeled cubbies in the kitchen to be a landing pile for documents of each family member.<\/p>\n<p>As a coach, I work hard to get families to buy a whiteboard for the shop or back office door to collect the agenda items and job lists for clear expectations of roles and responsibilities. A pencil and a paper are still very cost-effective planning tools to communicate clearly, and not forget the important issues that need addressing. Emailing the minutes from the business meetings with the action plan of <strong>\u201cwho does what by when\u201d<\/strong> keeps everyone on the team accountable to act and work smarter. Let Gen 2 educate you on the beauty of using <strong>\u201cGoogle documents.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Cleaning our bias filters make take a bit of hard work and honest reflection. Do you think farm girls make better spouses than the city or town wives? Be honest. This one gets personal for folks whose farming children, the potential successors, are courting people with <strong>\u201cfresh eyes\u201d<\/strong> and different approaches to farm codes of conduct and our culture. Have you ever really sat down and thought through all of the experiences you have as a farm kid that you take for granted?<\/p>\n<p><em>\u201cMake sure the gate is securely closed.\u201d \u201cGet that gas cap on tight and don\u2019t ever mix the fuels.\u201d \u201cDon\u2019t cross an isolation strip with your combine header feeding grain.\u201d \u201cEmpty the rain gauge after you document the amount.\u201d \u201cDon\u2019t ever park this truck on the swath.\u201d<\/em> and it goes on. All the things we expect other folks to know and understand about our farming systems, but we have never checked to see what biases or assumptions we have been making.<\/p>\n<p>In-laws on the farm team whether male or female, can be a wonderful asset to your communication process. They come with a different family-style of conduct, another approach and attitude about conflict, and believe that <strong>change is good when we understand the \u201cwhy\u201d<\/strong> behind doing things differently.<\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<p>Elaine Froese wants to hear your <strong>\u201cin-law\u201d<\/strong> success stories. <a href=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/contact\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Book her<\/a> to speak at your fall events.<\/p>\n<p>Did you enjoy <em>Clear Concise Communication?<\/em> You might want to check these articles out too:<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/farming-business\/boost-farm-communication-during-a-crisis\/\">12 Tips to Boost Farm Communication During a Crisis<\/a><br \/>\n<a href=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/farm-family-coaching\/better-communication-farm-employees\/\">How to Have Better Communication With Farm Employees<\/a><br \/>\n<a href=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/farm-succession\/better-communication-farm-lawyer\/\">How to Have Better Communication with Your Farm Lawyer<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u201cElaine, I am feeling paralyzed and overwhelmed with this farm transfer thing.\u201d \u201cHow do I talk to the kids without emotions running wild?\u201d \u201cWe do fine until we try to get a sit-down family meeting with an agenda, then no one is really honest with what is going on here.\u201d Communication that is clear, and&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":4629,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[1049,3,585,1050,127,1051,226,323,195,1052,1053,1054],"class_list":["post-4624","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","tag-clear-communication","tag-communication","tag-farm-boss","tag-farm-code","tag-farm-family","tag-farm-girls","tag-farm-kid","tag-farm-life","tag-farm-team","tag-farm-transfer-process","tag-farm-works","tag-farming-systems"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Clear Concise Communication - Elaine Froese | Canada\u2019s Farm Whisperer | Your go-to expert for farm families who want better communication and conflict resolution to secure a successful farm transition<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Communication that is clear, and concise, well \u2013understood, and received by the listeners is the goal. Brene Brown says \u201cBeing clear is kind.\u201d\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2021\/05\/20\/clear-concise-communication\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Clear Concise Communication - Elaine Froese | Canada\u2019s Farm Whisperer | Your go-to expert for farm families who want better communication and conflict resolution to secure a successful farm transition\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Communication that is clear, and concise, well \u2013understood, and received by the listeners is the goal. 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