A young farmer sits nervously on the couch with his partner and tells me that he can\u2019t take working with his dad any more. He describes the \u201cBoss\u201d walking quickly across the yard, arms waving, with his voice increasing in volume and swearing the \u201cF-bomb\u201d at the young son.<\/p>\n
Does the son swear back at the father? Yes, it\u2019s the pattern he\u2019s learned well over years of turning wrenches and turning off his listening to the tirades. He is not so sure he wants to be part of the legacy, and he may soon leave, forever.<\/p>\n
What I have just described is killing farm businesses and I don\u2019t see a lot of press about it. Profane language which attacks the person without working at the problem is costing you money.<\/p>\n
How?<\/p>\n
1. Your approach is shutting down effective communication, and therefore you are wasting time dealing with anger instead of acting on the tasks at hand. You are suffering from the effects of distracted management energy, and that costs you in efficiency and wrecked equipment driven by angry employees.<\/p>\n
2. Your wealth going forward depends on an income stream from a profitable farm pumping out a great cash flow and a lack of labour \u00a0shortage issues. Swearing drives people into despair and creates fuel for their exit from the business. \u201cWhy do I work with this guy? Life is too short to be in a miserable workplace ! \u201c<\/p>\n
3. A tour of Dawson Creek and other busy oil or gas work camps will show you that the next generation has other career options beside the family farm. If your adult children decide to come back to the farm, they understand different management styles from their former employers, and they expect respect.<\/p>\n
4. Being a labour magnet is a sweet position to be in when folks actually knock at your door looking for work because of your healthy workplace reputation. On our farm swearing and streams of profanity is not acceptable. We\u2019ve had employees actually mention that this was why they wanted to work with us.<\/p>\n
5. As the mouth speaks, so is the heart.\u00a0 I listen carefully to what words are really reflecting as to the emotional condition of the farm folks I coach. A father who is swearing in frustration over a different work ethic in the next generation needs to evaluate why he is so stressed out, and de-stress before addressing the conflict in a calm, respectful, adult manner.<\/p>\n
What is the cost of losing a successor who has been berated with bad language for far too long? I don\u2019t know if you can put a dollar figure on family break-up and loss of relationship and working partners. It is huge.<\/p>\n
I am also concerned about the angst of farm women who are over 60. They no longer want to be the \u201cpig in the middle\u201d soothing the emotional wounds of their spouses in conflict with their children. The profanity directed towards them is unacceptable, and wears down their senses of self-worth. Some women I meet are telling me they are tired of being the family social worker, and ready to find a new life beyond the farm gate, whether or not their husband chooses to come with them.<\/p>\n
So, what is your plan to clean up your language or \u201cpotty mouth\u201d ?<\/p>\n
Check what comes out of your mouth after you engage your brain.<\/p>\n
There are long term consequences for treating people badly on your farm team.<\/p>\n
You always get to choose your thoughts, beliefs, habits, and actions.<\/p>\n
You are responsible for your behaviour and your responses to others.<\/p>\n
In conflict resolution we encourage folks to be responsive, not reactive. This means asking questions like:<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat would you like me to do differently?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAre\u00a0 you okay? Do you want to talk about it now or later?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHave I done something to offend you ? I did not intend to be late. Let me explain.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMay I make a request?\u00a0 Let\u2019s get some coffee and food, and talk about this sitting\u00a0 down.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201c Are you sure those are the facts? I don\u2019t want to gossip. If you have a problem with her, you need to talk to her directly. You can work it out.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWords aptly spoken are like apples of gold in settings of silver\u201d according to Proverbs.<\/p>\n
How about a fresh start in cleaning out your mouth this year, so that the words you speak actually direct, teach, and affirm those around you, rather that adding fuel to the conflict\u2019s already hot fire ?<\/p>\n
By the way, I had my first audience member swear at me\u00a0 last fall in ranch country when I mentioned that \u201cdivorce on the farm does not have to happen\u201d and he responded with \u201cwhat @%@%@ planet are you from?\u201d\u00a0 I was surprised, and saddened when I saw the expression of his daughter in law who was sitting right next to the profane man.<\/p>\n
I don\u2019t like to be the recipient of foul language, and I suspect you don\u2019t either.<\/p>\n
Choose your words carefully and reap the benefits of sowing more respect on your farm this year.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
A young farmer sits nervously on the couch with his partner and tells me that he can\u2019t take working with his dad any more. He describes the \u201cBoss\u201d walking quickly across the yard, arms waving, with his voice increasing in volume and swearing the \u201cF-bomb\u201d at the young son. Does the son swear back at…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[4,25,35,395,396,397,21,398],"class_list":["post-455","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","tag-conflict-resolution","tag-farm","tag-farm-folks","tag-farm-gate","tag-farm-pumping","tag-farm-swearing","tag-farmer","tag-young-farmers"],"yoast_head":"\n