{"id":4061,"date":"2020-05-21T05:00:03","date_gmt":"2020-05-21T11:00:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/?p=4061"},"modified":"2020-05-21T05:00:03","modified_gmt":"2020-05-21T11:00:03","slug":"dealing-with-farmer-denial-of-dementia","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2020\/05\/21\/dealing-with-farmer-denial-of-dementia\/","title":{"rendered":"Dealing With Farmer Denial of Dementia"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Maggie Van Camp, leader of agricultural development for BDO, sees the key foreboding issue<\/span> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">for agriculture as farm succession. She asks, \u201cWho is going to farm in future generations\u2026and how the heck are we going to transfer the management and ownership of those farms?\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Consider the following facts that are currently impacting farm succession:\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Never before have the older generation lived this long,\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Never before have our farm businesses been this complicated,\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Never before have our farm assets been this valuable.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But disease and declining cognitive functioning impact farm succession too. \u201cWhat\u2019s the urgency for farm transition?\u201d you may wonder. What is at risk? While cancer, heart attack, and stroke might motivate folks to take action to get their affairs in order, decreasing brain function is harder to pinpoint. Is it just a function of aging, or is it something more insidious? Today I want to talk about the uncomfortable topic of dementia and how you can let go of denial and face it head-on.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>[Tweet &#8220;Declining cognitive function\u2026when is it \u2018just a function of aging\u2019, and when is it something more insidious? Check out my latest blog post to get my advice for #farmers and their #farm family when dealing with #dementia.&#8221;]<\/p>\n<h2><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Dealing with Dementia: Stories from My Family<\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-4065\" src=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/dementia-710x373.png\" alt=\"Dealing with Dementia: Stories from My Family Og\" width=\"710\" height=\"373\" \/><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In October 1997, we buried my father-in-law, who suffered from a genetic brain shrinking disease, and in November 2011, we buried my farming father, who had suffered from Alzheimer\u2019s. It\u2019s 2020 now, and I am seeing farmers under 60 dealing with forgetfulness that is impacting their ability to manage a farm, as well as those at 70 who still cannot believe how many details they are forgetting on a daily basis.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">We knew that dementia was impacting my dad when he started putting his Corn Flakes box in the fridge, which was noticed by a boarder in his home. Thankfully, we got the home care coordinator involved, quickly called a family meeting, and sought out a geriatric psychiatrist who made the diagnosis and removed dad\u2019s ability to drive.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This did not happen overnight but required direction, action, and accountability to get a workable care plan in place. Thankfully, Dad had an updated will, an enduring power of attorney, and he trusted his children to act well on his behalf. No parts of this story are harmonious, but that is for another time.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Losing the ability to make sound decisions is a huge fear factor for spouses who are seeing decline and don\u2019t have a partner who accepts the fact that their brain function is not what it should be for running a farm. My intent in writing this piece is to alert farm families to wipe out all procrastination of getting your wills, financial plans, business plan, and vision for the farm in place while you have good brain power of <\/span><b>all<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> the farm team.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It saddens me every time I survey my audiences and find that 25 percent of them don\u2019t even have a will. Some have wills but no power of attorney for the risks of being incapacitated to make decisions (think truck accident injury). When my hubby crashed in October 2017, we were prepared for our successor son to invoke the POA so the farm bills could be paid, and decisions made. Some folks have wills that are 19 years old, leaving the farm successor in chaos to fight with non-farm siblings who are due to inherit a third of all farm assets!!<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Staying stuck in denial has to stop now.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Tips for Dealing with Farmer Dementia<\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-4066\" src=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/last-will-and-testament-710x373.png\" alt=\"Tips for Dealing with Farmer Dementia OG\" width=\"710\" height=\"373\" \/><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What steps can you take to explore better brain health and benchmarks for dementia? Here are five things I advise you to start thinking about \u2013 and acting on \u2013 today.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">1. Review your family genetics and history.\u00a0<\/span><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Get the farmer to have a physical exam with your family doctor; talk about your concerns, and share your observations. Hearing loss, which is common in farmers, can impact brain function, so there are audiologist appointments that may explore this further.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">2. Talk to the local Alzheimer\u2019s group.<\/span><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">These groups can offer coping strategies and insight into the many forms of dementia.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">3. Be transparent with your farming family.\u00a0<\/span><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Let them know what is really going on and educate them as to the next steps. Call a family meeting with a seniors care facilitator from your local health region. If you are very rural and isolated from good support, you may have to create your own team of friends to help you navigate the losses ahead.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cAmbiguous loss\u201d is the term that describes the gradual breaking off of skills from the one who has decreasing brain capacity. This decline evokes fear when you worry about what the farmer will be unable to do next, not knowing how much time you have to get solid plans in place.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">4. When does a person become \u201cincompetent\u201d and not of sound mind?\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Read that question again. This is where we need a HUGE mindset shift in blasting away procrastination in farm succession.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cI\u2019ll get my will done, Elaine, when the harvest is over. No, when Christmas is past. No, when calving is finished. No, when we get back from down south. No, when Easter is past. No, when seeding is done. No, when spraying is caught up. No, when the fungicide is finished. No, when the harvest is done.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yikes! We\u2019ve just gone through a calendar-year of farming pressures, and still, there is no paperwork or documents filed to protect your family\u2019s future. Make an appointment with your lawyer today to review your current will and update alternates for your power of attorney. Explore your legal options.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">5. Figure out where the resistance or pushback for getting things done is coming from.<\/span><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Is it a lack of understanding of legal terms, or accounting requests? This type of resistance is in the HEAD and intellectual pushing back and fear of looking stupid. You need to build a safe, respectful place for conversation with trusted advisors. A farm woman thanked me for telling her husband the implications of dementia. He listened to me but did not get the original message from his doctor. Sometimes messages need to come from several places before the reality of the situation sinks in.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Van Camp\u2019s personal suggestion is to discuss, agree, and write down when action should be taken. For example, her mom has agreed to move to a retirement home when she can no longer pass the driver\u2019s test. She is also well aware of her risk of Alzheimer\u2019s, the symptoms, and when she should talk to her family and her doctor about it. In the meantime, she is still doing wonderful.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Tears flow when emotions are raw. Farmers love their soil, their cows, and their empires that they have toiled hard to create, maintain, and grow. I remember the single tears that would flow down Dad\u2019s cheek when he listened to old-time country music. It was his way of communicating that he was having a good day.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Dementia is about losing brain function, so there is much grief to navigate. Perhaps this is the time to hire a counselor, minister, or care worker who can help you unpack the myriad of emotions swirling in the family dynamic. The resistance or pushback that comes from deep emotion is what I call HEART issues.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Lastly, trust your gut. You intuitively know what the right next step is for your family.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">We are all aging, and we are all dying. Please face reality sooner than later.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Maggie Van Camp, leader of agricultural development for BDO, sees the key foreboding issue for agriculture as farm succession. She asks, \u201cWho is going to farm in future generations\u2026and how the heck are we going to transfer the management and ownership of those farms?\u201d\u00a0 Consider the following facts that are currently impacting farm succession:\u00a0\u00a0 Never&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":4063,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[907,329,378,762,908,909],"class_list":["post-4061","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","tag-dementia","tag-farm-succession","tag-farm-successor","tag-farm-transition","tag-farmer-dementia","tag-power-of-attorney"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Dealing With Farmer Denial of Dementia - Elaine Froese | Canada\u2019s Farm Whisperer | Your go-to expert for farm families who want better communication and conflict resolution to secure a successful farm transition<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Staying stuck in denial about dementia has to stop NOW. 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Many of my clients say: \u201cI wish I had met you 10 years ago.\u201d Learn more on how I can help you here \u2192","url":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/author\/elaine\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4061","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4061"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4061\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/4063"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4061"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4061"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4061"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}