{"id":3773,"date":"2018-12-11T14:00:45","date_gmt":"2018-12-11T20:00:45","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/?p=3773"},"modified":"2018-12-11T14:00:45","modified_gmt":"2018-12-11T20:00:45","slug":"what-really-matters","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2018\/12\/11\/what-really-matters\/","title":{"rendered":"What Really Matters After 40 Years"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"WhatThe clouds at 30,000 feet are keeping me company as I write and reflect. My ears hear Celtic tunes of praise while I contemplate the lessons of the last 4 decades. November 10, 1978, marked the first day of my move to Boissevain to serve farm families with Manitoba Agriculture as an extension home economist. Those years hardwired me for gleaning problem-solving resources that would give farm folks practical tools to make better choices for a happier quality of life.<\/p>\n

This fall I see Facebook posts of weary faces, dryer fires, and bearded young farmers who have barely had time to sleep, pressing hard to get the 2018 crop off the field, in whatever shape they can \u201csteal the crop.\u201d<\/p>\n

So, when you look at the markers in your life, what really matters most?<\/p>\n

What Really Matters Most<\/h3>\n

It matters<\/strong> to me that I am rich in relationships. Just this morning I met a young ambitious Texan who has just landed a sweet dairy genetics job and is happy to be able to spend time with his young family. He was clear about leaving a herdsman position where he once was part of an 18,000 cow operation. That\u2019s not a typo, that\u2019s a whack load of cows. He chose family time over farm stress. He said \u201cTravel safe Ma\u2019am\u201d when we parted.<\/p>\n

Yesterday I met researchers who are excited about the trends of innovation and growth for agriculture. They are keen to follow the innovators and independent entrepreneurial farmers who will carve out opportunity and business wealth. These same creative types will be sure to craft a life beyond the farm gate. I can see our next generation doing that with time for fun: hunting, fishing, travel, and marketing clubs in the next town. Make time for fun this month.<\/p>\n

[Tweet “What #important things will make your #holiday season better. Consider what really matters to you.”]<\/p>\n

As a new grandma, it matters<\/strong> that I have fun play spaces in my home that are safe for my granddaughter to laugh and play hide and seek with me. It\u2019s getting harder to fly away to groups and have plane delays that keep you away from the family supper table. My heart aches for the farm families who have chosen to be stubborn in their unhealthy communication patterns and refuse to let grandchildren develop deep bonds with the farming grandparents. What type of parenting are you modeling for your children? Are you ignoring the wisdom gifts from the elder generation and the time older folks love to lavish on the young?<\/p>\n

Christmas gatherings this month will be a time to connect to your family tree and celebrate the branches that are strong and still growing. If you are part of a branch that has been broken off, perhaps it is time to create new rituals and parties with friends who you can adopt into your family. We\u2019ve experienced great delight in sharing time with families who are longing for connection. The local Boissevain Resettlement Committee has shown our community the joy of embracing refugee families who are thrilled to live in our amazing country. It matters that we take care of our global brothers and sisters who are in great need. Beds, clothes, food\u2026we are rich.<\/p>\n

\"what<\/p>\n

It matters<\/strong> to me that the sacrifices made driving through blizzards to speak to groups and light a sense of hope in farm families is a message that will last, even if \u201cBuilding Your Farm Legacy<\/a>\u201d is the last book I write. Compassion fatigue can set in at this time of year when a tough harvest ends, and the family feuding over the future of the farm continues. Rest.<\/p>\n

Stop Being Prideful and Stubborn<\/h3>\n

A 44-year-old farmer who holds another off-farm job was desperate to find answers on how to get his dad to let go of power and control. That issue has been brought to my attention for decades. You cannot rule from the grave. Your hearse will not be pulling a U Haul trailer to take stuff with you when you die. True wealth is in good health and rich relationships. The laughter of your grand-child on the video on your smartphone is a gentle reprieve. The best choice is to be building structure and agreements into the next business plan for the farm\u2019s health and the financial well-being of all the families your farm supports. Don\u2019t leave your future to fate.<\/p>\n

Two emails today spoke of untimely deaths of fathers, who died with no will and no plan. It\u2019s just the beginning of \u201cTransition angst\u201d season and there will be more stories that need a healing outcome.<\/p>\n

Christmas for me is the celebration of the birth of the Messiah, Jesus Christ, the light of the World and Saviour to all those who believe. All I need for Christmas is time to worship with other Jesus followers and family who are happy to be together. What matters most in the last 40 years, is that I know God has always been faithful to provide wisdom and direction for tough conversations and hard decisions. He has blessed us with healing for our bodies, protection from more than one fire, and grace to grieve accidental deaths. He gives us life!<\/p>\n

When you figure out what matters most to you and what you really want in your life, your intentional choices will be fuel for your light to burn bright. \u201cSomeday\u201d will no longer be a day on your calendar. You\u2019ll be ready to get out your black gel pen to mark the dates for family fun and farm meetings. You\u2019ll block off time to re-charge in the sun belt or play cards with friends. When the next decade goes by like the faster rolling end of toilet paper reaching the end of the roll you won\u2019t be the one saying, \u201cWhere did the time go ?\u201d You\u2019ll be respected, full of the joy knowing you embraced each new day as a gift and lived your life to it\u2019s fullest.<\/p>\n

\"what<\/p>\n

Light some candles as a family this month and share with each other what really matters most. Poor crops, less cash, fewer expensive gifts under the tree: that \u2019s an opportunity to live simply this winter, so others may simply live.<\/p>\n

Reach out to get the emotional support you need as you reflect on what matters most.<\/p>\n

Merry Christmas!<\/p>\n

\n

Hey Farmers, Don’t Miss This!<\/h3>\n

Did you hear the great news? I recently was award the Wilson Loree Award for having \u201cmade an extraordinary contribution to advancing agricultural business management practices in Canada.\u201d You can hear all about it here in this interview with Dale Leftwich of the Real Ag Podcast<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Also,\u00a0make sure you save the date for the Ranching for Profit Conference next year<\/a>! Registration starts in February, but it is never to early to make sure your calendar is clear! Make sure you don\u2019t miss any of the events I am speaking at. Keeping an eye on my \u201cWhere\u2019s Elaine\u201d or bookmark my speaking calendar<\/a> now!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The clouds at 30,000 feet are keeping me company as I write and reflect. My ears hear Celtic tunes of praise while I contemplate the lessons of the last 4 decades. November 10, 1978, marked the first day of my move to Boissevain to serve farm families with Manitoba Agriculture as an extension home economist.…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":3778,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[843,25,441,329,76,844,845,846],"class_list":["post-3773","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","tag-family-relationships","tag-farm","tag-farm-relationships","tag-farm-succession","tag-farmers","tag-helping-others","tag-important-things","tag-what-really-matters"],"yoast_head":"\nWhat Really Matters After 40 Years - Elaine Froese | Canada\u2019s Farm Whisperer | Your go-to expert for farm families who want better communication and conflict resolution to secure a successful farm transition<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"After 40 years on the farm, what is really most important to you? 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