{"id":354,"date":"2012-12-31T17:28:46","date_gmt":"2012-12-31T17:28:46","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/blog\/?p=354"},"modified":"2012-12-31T17:28:46","modified_gmt":"2012-12-31T17:28:46","slug":"leaving-a-lasting-legacy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2012\/12\/31\/leaving-a-lasting-legacy\/","title":{"rendered":"Leaving a Lasting Legacy"},"content":{"rendered":"

Today I baked the \u201cUltimate Fruitcake\u201d in memory of my youngest sister Grace, who was killed by a drunk driver, 21 years ago today. This yearly ritual of baking her favourite fruitcake fills my home with wonderful scents, and helps me to recall the short life of a dearly loved sister. Last night a long time family friend, Jane, called to say she was thinking of me, and Grace, and my mom, Lois.\u00a0 Jane recalled \u00a0that my mom\u2019s laughter \u00a0was so loud that it rolled across a room, and then the tears of joy \u00a0usually followed. Jane was the one who sat through the night while my mom lay dying in palliative care. It was sweet to visit over the phone, and reflect on the lives of loved ones.<\/p>\n

Soon\u00a0 I\u2019ll be doing a roadshow with an accounting firm to talk about the \u201cDeath of a farmer\u201d. Bet that title just makes you want to jump in a car and come ! My portion is to talk about leaving a lasting legacy, the final wishes, how you would like to be remembered, what to do with sentimental possessions, and the family issues around money and land. (And they only gave me an hour !)<\/p>\n

I love talking about this stuff. I\u2019m not so good about organizing all the documents that I want to have put into place, but I have started.<\/p>\n

I want you to start, too, : to leave a manual for your loved ones of your important documents, wishes, funeral plans, advisors, plumber etc. \u00a0Make a \u00a0\u201clife \u201c binder that someone could grab if your home was flooding, a loved one suddenly dies, with\u00a0 everything all organized.<\/p>\n

I have resources from the internet that will help get you started:<\/p>\n

\u201cThe Lasting Legacy \u201c workbook is from the northwest states, but it is a great workbook that you can print out to get started. Go to www.rightrisk.org<\/a> and look for the Lasting Legacy Course. I would print the first 48 pages of the workbook, as the four pillars of legacy are well documented\u2026your values and life lessons, personal possessions of emotional value, instructions and wishes fulfillment, and financial\u00a0 assets and real estate.<\/p>\n

The other downloadable resource is $10, but worth it \u201cThe Organize your Life workbook\u201d by Mary Kelly. She is keen to have you tab things in a binder and get started on giving your family the gift of peace by having all your important stuff easy to locate when disaster or death strike. Go to www.organize-you.com<\/a> .\u00a0 Do you have a listing of computer passwords and the online presence of your family ?<\/p>\n

You can also visit Jolene Brown\u2019s article\u00a0 \u201cWhat to do with my body when I die\u201d at www.jolenebrown.com<\/a>. Jolene is a farmer and speaker friend whose wit and common sense may be the kick\u00a0 start you need to get things done.<\/p>\n

If you don\u2019t use the internet, then go to your bank , credit union, or financial planner and ask them for an organizer for your important documents. The Wainwright Credit Union in Alberta has a wonderful pamphlet and computer disk that is a handy tool to have completed if you are an executor of an estate.<\/p>\n

Sounds like a pile of work. Yes it is, but when have women shied away from the tough stuff. ? Think of a reward that will motivate you to keep plugging through.<\/p>\n

I purchased a professional label machine, coloured sticky tabs, and use coloured index dividers to help with the organizing job. I also have a red file called \u201cfuneral plans\u201d that I save funeral bulletins in. This file has been shared on more that one occasion to help plan memorials.<\/p>\n

Have you noticed that some folks are very sure that their legacy will not include a funeral service? I think that\u2019s a bad call, and a huge threat to undermining the value of grieving as family , friends, and community. I think we need to find ways to honour and celebrate folks while living, such as parties to tell them how great they are, and also think of how we wish to be remembered. You can give your possessions away while still living, and then delight in the gratitude and stories that are shared around special items.<\/p>\n

My mom purchased a black ranch mink coat with Grace, in the early 80\u2019s by selling a truckload of wheat. She didn\u2019t wear the coat much in Winnipeg, so she decided to gift it to me, 5 years before she died. She told me the story of the coat, wanted me to enjoy it in my rural travels, and was delighted \u00a0that I got great mileage from it. She died in the middle of harvest, comatose for 2 weeks with an asthma attack.\u00a0 People treat me differently when I wear a black mink coat, but I really don\u2019t dwell on that as much as I appreciate being warm in January, and remembering my Mom\u2019s love and care for me.<\/p>\n

A young widow friend told me at our pajama party last week that she is really thankful that she developed a relationship with a trusted financial advisor, long before her hubby\u2019s death. She also endorses the book \u201cWidow to Widow\u201d by\u00a0 Genevieve Davis Ginsburg as an excellent read for new widows. I\u2019ve read it ,too and think I should give it to widows in lieu of flowers.<\/p>\n

I also encourage you to read \u201cMoney, Possessions and Eternity\u201d by Randy Alcorn which comes highly recommended by chicken farming cousins who now have new plans for their bequests. I\u2019ve just started it and appreciate the Christian principles on stewardship, tithing, and financial tools to teach children about handling money.<\/p>\n

If you are in a second marriage you will appreciate \u201cThe Cottage, The Spider Brooch, and the Second Wife: how to overcome the challenges of estate planning by Sandy Cardy. It is written in a novel story style.<\/p>\n

If my passion for taking control of \u00a0life\u2019s affairs could jump off this page, you might want to sit down with me and have tea and fruitcake. In 21 years I have planned 4 funerals, and someday my family will have to deal with my legacy.<\/p>\n

Let me know when you finish organizing the \u201clife\u201dbinder. I will happily send a free copy of my book \u201cPlanting the Seed of Hope\u201d to the first 3 letter writers.<\/p>\n

Elaine Froese, Box 957, Boissevain, MB, R0K 0E0\u00a0\u00a0 elaine@elainefroese.com<\/a><\/p>\n

Live intentionally. It\u2019s your farm, your family , your choice. Blessings on your journey.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Today I baked the \u201cUltimate Fruitcake\u201d in memory of my youngest sister Grace, who was killed by a drunk driver, 21 years ago today. This yearly ritual of baking her favourite fruitcake fills my home with wonderful scents, and helps me to recall the short life of a dearly loved sister. Last night a long…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[127,314,371],"class_list":["post-354","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","tag-farm-family","tag-farm-mothers","tag-legacy"],"yoast_head":"\nLeaving a Lasting Legacy - Elaine Froese | Canada\u2019s Farm Whisperer | Your go-to expert for farm families who want better communication and conflict resolution to secure a successful farm transition<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2012\/12\/31\/leaving-a-lasting-legacy\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Leaving a Lasting Legacy - Elaine Froese | Canada\u2019s Farm Whisperer | Your go-to expert for farm families who want better communication and conflict resolution to secure a successful farm transition\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Today I baked the \u201cUltimate Fruitcake\u201d in memory of my youngest sister Grace, who was killed by a drunk driver, 21 years ago today. This yearly ritual of baking her favourite fruitcake fills my home with wonderful scents, and helps me to recall the short life of a dearly loved sister. Last night a long…\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2012\/12\/31\/leaving-a-lasting-legacy\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Elaine Froese | Canada\u2019s Farm Whisperer | Your go-to expert for farm families who want better communication and conflict resolution to secure a successful farm transition\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2012-12-31T17:28:46+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Elaine Froese\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Elaine Froese\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"5 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2012\/12\/31\/leaving-a-lasting-legacy\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2012\/12\/31\/leaving-a-lasting-legacy\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Elaine Froese\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/#\/schema\/person\/6960d626ab7e9f2f8f719815b7733dc3\"},\"headline\":\"Leaving a Lasting Legacy\",\"datePublished\":\"2012-12-31T17:28:46+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2012\/12\/31\/leaving-a-lasting-legacy\/\"},\"wordCount\":1093,\"commentCount\":0,\"keywords\":[\"Farm Family\",\"Farm Mothers\",\"Legacy\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2012\/12\/31\/leaving-a-lasting-legacy\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2012\/12\/31\/leaving-a-lasting-legacy\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2012\/12\/31\/leaving-a-lasting-legacy\/\",\"name\":\"Leaving a Lasting Legacy - Elaine Froese | Canada\u2019s Farm Whisperer | Your go-to expert for farm families who want better communication and conflict resolution to secure a successful farm transition\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2012-12-31T17:28:46+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/#\/schema\/person\/6960d626ab7e9f2f8f719815b7733dc3\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2012\/12\/31\/leaving-a-lasting-legacy\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2012\/12\/31\/leaving-a-lasting-legacy\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2012\/12\/31\/leaving-a-lasting-legacy\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Leaving a Lasting Legacy\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/\",\"name\":\"Elaine Froese | Canada\u2019s Farm Whisperer | Your go-to expert for farm families who want better communication and conflict resolution to secure a successful farm transition\",\"description\":\"\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/#\/schema\/person\/6960d626ab7e9f2f8f719815b7733dc3\",\"name\":\"Elaine Froese\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/4df8162d4b4a0bb7b79f735f1fd39bc21a692ec62908384041c34339d64bd119?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/4df8162d4b4a0bb7b79f735f1fd39bc21a692ec62908384041c34339d64bd119?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Elaine Froese\"},\"description\":\"I\u2019m Elaine Froese, a lifelong farmer. Every day, I use my background in conflict resolution and communication to help fellow growers and ranchers face make-or-break issues head on \u2014 so they can focus on the business of farming. My expertise is sought after across Canada, and in the U.S. I'm a catalyst for courageous conversations, new scenarios and more profitable businesses. Many of my clients say: \u201cI wish I had met you 10 years ago.\u201d Learn more on how I can help you here \u2192\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/author\/elaine\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Leaving a Lasting Legacy - Elaine Froese | Canada\u2019s Farm Whisperer | Your go-to expert for farm families who want better communication and conflict resolution to secure a successful farm transition","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2012\/12\/31\/leaving-a-lasting-legacy\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Leaving a Lasting Legacy - Elaine Froese | Canada\u2019s Farm Whisperer | Your go-to expert for farm families who want better communication and conflict resolution to secure a successful farm transition","og_description":"Today I baked the \u201cUltimate Fruitcake\u201d in memory of my youngest sister Grace, who was killed by a drunk driver, 21 years ago today. This yearly ritual of baking her favourite fruitcake fills my home with wonderful scents, and helps me to recall the short life of a dearly loved sister. Last night a long…","og_url":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2012\/12\/31\/leaving-a-lasting-legacy\/","og_site_name":"Elaine Froese | Canada\u2019s Farm Whisperer | Your go-to expert for farm families who want better communication and conflict resolution to secure a successful farm transition","article_published_time":"2012-12-31T17:28:46+00:00","author":"Elaine Froese","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Elaine Froese","Est. reading time":"5 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2012\/12\/31\/leaving-a-lasting-legacy\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2012\/12\/31\/leaving-a-lasting-legacy\/"},"author":{"name":"Elaine Froese","@id":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/#\/schema\/person\/6960d626ab7e9f2f8f719815b7733dc3"},"headline":"Leaving a Lasting Legacy","datePublished":"2012-12-31T17:28:46+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2012\/12\/31\/leaving-a-lasting-legacy\/"},"wordCount":1093,"commentCount":0,"keywords":["Farm Family","Farm Mothers","Legacy"],"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2012\/12\/31\/leaving-a-lasting-legacy\/#respond"]}]},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2012\/12\/31\/leaving-a-lasting-legacy\/","url":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2012\/12\/31\/leaving-a-lasting-legacy\/","name":"Leaving a Lasting Legacy - Elaine Froese | Canada\u2019s Farm Whisperer | Your go-to expert for farm families who want better communication and conflict resolution to secure a successful farm transition","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/#website"},"datePublished":"2012-12-31T17:28:46+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/#\/schema\/person\/6960d626ab7e9f2f8f719815b7733dc3"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2012\/12\/31\/leaving-a-lasting-legacy\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2012\/12\/31\/leaving-a-lasting-legacy\/"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2012\/12\/31\/leaving-a-lasting-legacy\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Leaving a Lasting Legacy"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/#website","url":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/","name":"Elaine Froese | Canada\u2019s Farm Whisperer | Your go-to expert for farm families who want better communication and conflict resolution to secure a successful farm transition","description":"","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/#\/schema\/person\/6960d626ab7e9f2f8f719815b7733dc3","name":"Elaine Froese","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/4df8162d4b4a0bb7b79f735f1fd39bc21a692ec62908384041c34339d64bd119?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/4df8162d4b4a0bb7b79f735f1fd39bc21a692ec62908384041c34339d64bd119?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Elaine Froese"},"description":"I\u2019m Elaine Froese, a lifelong farmer. Every day, I use my background in conflict resolution and communication to help fellow growers and ranchers face make-or-break issues head on \u2014 so they can focus on the business of farming. My expertise is sought after across Canada, and in the U.S. I'm a catalyst for courageous conversations, new scenarios and more profitable businesses. Many of my clients say: \u201cI wish I had met you 10 years ago.\u201d Learn more on how I can help you here \u2192","url":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/author\/elaine\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/354","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=354"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/354\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=354"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=354"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=354"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}