{"id":2397,"date":"2016-12-28T08:00:05","date_gmt":"2016-12-28T14:00:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/?p=2397"},"modified":"2016-12-28T08:00:05","modified_gmt":"2016-12-28T14:00:05","slug":"plugging-the-combine-resistance","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2016\/12\/28\/plugging-the-combine-resistance\/","title":{"rendered":"Plugging the Combine is a Great Metaphor for Resistance"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/12\/Plugging-the-Combine-is-a-Great-Metaphor-for-Resistance-2.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-3235\" src=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/12\/Plugging-the-Combine-is-a-Great-Metaphor-for-Resistance-2.jpg\" alt=\"Plugging the Combine is a Great Metaphor for Resistance\" width=\"710\" height=\"365\" srcset=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/12\/Plugging-the-Combine-is-a-Great-Metaphor-for-Resistance-2.jpg 710w, https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/12\/Plugging-the-Combine-is-a-Great-Metaphor-for-Resistance-2-480x247.jpg 480w\" sizes=\"auto, (min-width: 0px) and (max-width: 480px) 480px, (min-width: 481px) 710px, 100vw\" \/><\/a>You cannot push too much too fast through a combine.<\/p>\n<p>Farm people transferring the farm business are going through tremendous challenges. We get frustrated when our family does not want what we want.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Why-Dont-You-Want-What\/dp\/1885167563\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><em>Why Don\u2019t You Want What I Want?<\/em> <\/a>is the title of Rick Maurer\u2019s practical book on working through 3 levels of resistance:<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\"><strong>HEAD<\/strong>: \u201cI do not get it,\u201d<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\"><strong>HEART<\/strong>: \u201cI do not like it,\u201d<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\"><strong>GUT<\/strong>: \u201cI do not trust you.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Maurer believes we can muster support for our ideas without the hard sell, manipulation or power plays. Stay engaged with the person, seek understanding, favorable reactions, and develop trust.<\/p>\n<p>I have experienced resistance when I have tried to present too many ideas for a change too quickly. Things plug up fast when people are not given time to see the same picture we see. Maurer says, \u201cWhen people are afraid they will lose something important when their fear response kicks in\u2026their emotional brain takes over and limits their ability to stay engaged with us.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Smooth combine operators make sure they feed the machine with a good consistent speed, checking the monitors. We need to check our understanding with our families, planting seeds of change gradually, and paying attention to emotional monitors.<\/p>\n<p>Beeping in the cab alerts us to problems. What alerts us in our conversations that we are really getting it, and listening to the other person\u2019s viewpoints?<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Do they understand?<\/li>\n<li>Are they reacting negatively or positively?<\/li>\n<li>Is there sufficient trust between us for them to support us?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>[Tweet &#8220;6 tips to help #farmers move through #resistance to make succession easier.&#8221;]<\/p>\n<p>Maurer suggests 6 principles of engagement to help move through resistance:<\/p>\n<h3>1. Know Your Intention<\/h3>\n<p>Focus on issues instead of positions. The key intention of combining is to put all the grain in the tank. If you intend to make changes in your farm family, have you developed the trust you need for support?<\/p>\n<h3>2. Consider the Context<\/h3>\n<p>The focus of getting the crop offsets the context; other things are a lower priority. Time your conversations well, consider where they are taking place, and the quality of the relationship. Maybe you have been trying to make changes with people who are just too tired to think or change!<\/p>\n<h3>3. Avoid Knee-Jerk Reactions<\/h3>\n<p>Slamming the hydrostatic lever can put your face in the windshield of your combine. Know your triggers or \u201chot buttons\u201d in conversations and avoid them. Your goal is to seek understanding and build commitment.<\/p>\n<h3>4. Pay Attention<\/h3>\n<p>When a cutting knife breaks, you get a trail of heads standing&#8230; evidence that you need to stop and change the broken part.\u00a0 Do you listen to others to be changed? Do you care about what the other person has to say?\u00a0 Make time for feedback. Listen. Be willing to be influenced by what you hear.<\/p>\n<h3>5. Explore Deeply<\/h3>\n<p>Messing around with the concaves is exploring deeply into the guts of the combine.\u00a0 People are afraid of the unknown; that is why farmers resist talking about a different way of working or living off the farm. Families need to find a safe way to discuss and explore possibilities for common ground.<\/p>\n<p>Maurer says you know you have explored enough when the person shifts from \u201cyou to us,\u201d and it feels like a weight has just lifted.<\/p>\n<p>Ask: \u201cHave I answered all of your questions?\u201d \u201cIs there anything I can provide for you?\u201d<\/p>\n<h3>6. Find Ways to Connect<\/h3>\n<p>When my trucker comments that I am cutting too high, I make adjustments and don\u2019t steam with the criticism. Identify the real fear or concern. State what is important to you. Then, turn that statement of concern into a statement of what you both want.<\/p>\n<p>A farm spouse may say \u201cI am afraid that we are not making decisions about our life off the farm yard, and that is impacting our children\u2019s decisions. It is important to me that we have a plan for our new home, and the way we will continue to work.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Look to see if the resistance is coming from a misunderstanding, deep emotion, or a lack of trust. Is it your head, your heart, or your gut? Then talk about what you really want.<\/p>\n<p>Check out Maurer\u2019s website <a href=\"http:\/\/www.beyondresistance.com\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">here<\/a> and read <a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/SPEED-TRUST-Thing-Changes-Everything\/dp\/1416549005\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><em>The Speed of Trust<\/em><\/a> by Stephen M.R. Covey.<\/p>\n<p>What would happen if you start using the phrase, \u201cI think, I feel, I need, or I want,&#8221; to explain your intent? Try it!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>You cannot push too much too fast through a combine. Farm people transferring the farm business are going through tremendous challenges. We get frustrated when our family does not want what we want. Why Don\u2019t You Want What I Want? is the title of Rick Maurer\u2019s practical book on working through 3 levels of resistance:&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":3235,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[3,4,112,25,113,74,353,329,615,76,616,617],"class_list":["post-2397","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","tag-communication","tag-conflict-resolution","tag-family","tag-farm","tag-farm-business","tag-farm-families","tag-farm-family-discussions","tag-farm-succession","tag-farm-tranferring","tag-farmers","tag-ressistance","tag-succession-resistance"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Plugging the Combine is a Great Metaphor for Resistance<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Farmers transferring the farm business are going through tremendous challenges. 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