{"id":2201,"date":"2019-11-19T09:00:40","date_gmt":"2019-11-19T15:00:40","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/?p=2201"},"modified":"2022-10-28T09:38:19","modified_gmt":"2022-10-28T17:38:19","slug":"the-farm-workaholic-7-reality-checks-and-a-subscription-to-making-change","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2019\/11\/19\/the-farm-workaholic-7-reality-checks-and-a-subscription-to-making-change\/","title":{"rendered":"The Farm Workaholic: 7 Reality Checks and A Subscription to Making Change"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"The<\/a><\/p>\n

Farming is one of those businesses where you live at your workplace. There\u2019s no line between work and home. It seems work is always just out the back door (because it is!) This can cause a farmer to become a workaholic.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The reality is, working too much is killing farmers and their families.<\/b><\/p>\n

Imagine your entire body slumped at the kitchen table, worn hands stroking graying hair and rubbing red, glassy eyes. Perhaps you don\u2019t need to imagine it because it\u2019s already your reality.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

When work is an addiction.<\/strong><\/h2>\n

People with work addictions see their jobs \u201cas an escape and find it difficult to be emotionally present to their families,\u201d says Dr. Bryan Robinson. Robinson is the author of <\/span>Chained to the Desk\u2026a Guidebook for Workaholics, Their Partners and Children, and the Clinicians Who Treat Them<\/span><\/a>.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Many farm families push really hard in calving season, seeding, haying, and harvest\u2026but a healthy farm family takes the time to renew, rest, recreate, and have fun.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

On the contrary, a workaholic follows self-imposed demands, can\u2019t regulate their work habits, and just don\u2019t know how to have fun with their families because they work too much.<\/span><\/p>\n

Farm men tend to wake up one day in their late fifties and realize they haven\u2019t developed any hobbies.<\/span><\/p>\n

They know how to work, but as the signs of re-invention<\/a> or retirement start appearing, they wake up knowing that work consumes them. Some of their spouses have even stopped asking for dates to have fun.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Here\u2019s why<\/span><\/i><\/a> date nights are an important part of marriage fitness for farm couples.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

Work addiction \u201cmasquerades as a positive addiction,\u201d says Robinson.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

When did you ever hear someone praise the next generation for choosing not to put in the long hours as the farming founders did? (On that note, here are <\/span>10 Things Millenial Farmers Want<\/span><\/a>)<\/span><\/p>\n

The hard-working farmer is praised for always being in the field at sunrise, and working 16-hour days. He is deemed a \u201creally hard-working guy\u201d and wears this label like a badge of honor.<\/span><\/p>\n

Did anyone ask the family members if Dad was present for the special parties, Sunday afternoon fun, or a child\u2019s baseball game?<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

Men and women alike need to assess if they have supports built into their farm family habits to prevent workaholism from taking root.<\/span><\/p>\n

7 Reality Checks for Farm Families<\/strong><\/h2>\n

Robinson offers 7 reality checks every family should consider:<\/span><\/p>\n

1. The source of work addiction is inside us.<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Workaholics are not team players; they need to control, and they cannot delegate. Dad\u2019s inability to let go and always work is his choice.<\/span><\/p>\n

2. A workaholic creates stress and burnout for themselves and fellow workers.<\/strong><\/h3>\n

While you may have clear boundaries about taking time off or having breaks, someone else on your farm could be pushing you to keep going when taking a rest would actually increase everyone\u2019s productivity.<\/span><\/p>\n

3. A workaholic operates from a Messiah Myth.<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Workaholics operate from a Messiah Myth that says they have to do it all and save the company.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

They believe the myth that they\u2019re superheroes who are wedded to their farms, causing them to have poor self\u2013worth and difficulty with intimacy. They fear the loss of control.<\/span><\/p>\n

4. Workaholics overextend themselves to fill an inner void.<\/strong><\/h3>\n

A workaholic will try to fill this void to medicate emotional pain and repress a range of emotions.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

They tend to work for the sake of working. If you cannot unplug from your cell phone or email, technology is feeding your addiction.<\/span><\/p>\n

[Tweet “7 reality checks for the #workaholic #farmer and how to put a stop to it.”]<\/p>\n

5. The need for the \u2018work high\u2019.<\/strong><\/h3>\n

The release of adrenaline creates physiological changes that lead to a \u2018work high\u2019 that becomes addictive. I wonder if this is the \u201chigh of seeding or harvest\u201d which is followed by weeks of needing deep rest when the rush is over.<\/span><\/p>\n

6. You do not need a job to qualify as having a work addiction.<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Maybe you\u2019re a \u201ccareaholic.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

You are burning out as the caregiver of others and meeting the needs of others without taking care of yourself. <\/span>Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect by Jonice Webb<\/span><\/a> is a good resource.<\/span><\/p>\n

7. Workers who live balanced lives are more efficient and productive.<\/strong><\/h3>\n

They bring greater quality to the job because they are less stressed and have clearer minds.<\/span><\/p>\n

Recovery requires some deep processing of the source of the pain coming from the inside of the person. Boundaries need to be set and time needs to be managed.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

For more boundary tools see <\/span>Boundaries: When to Say Yes, When to Say No to Take Control of Your Life by Dr. Henry Cloud<\/span><\/a> and the book <\/span>Margin: Restoring Emotional, Physical, Financial, and Time Reserves to Overloaded Lives<\/span><\/a> by Dr. Richard Swenson.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

It seems weird to say, but work needs to lighten up and play needs to be taken more seriously.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Are you trying to fill the void of loneliness that has its roots in your childhood experience?<\/strong><\/h2>\n

\u201cRemove all hurriedness from your life\u201d was the advice of one of my mentors:\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n