{"id":11368,"date":"2025-07-03T11:31:12","date_gmt":"2025-07-03T15:31:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/?p=11368"},"modified":"2025-07-03T14:30:09","modified_gmt":"2025-07-03T18:30:09","slug":"why-farm-family-relationships-friendships-are-essential-for-mental-wellness","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2025\/07\/03\/why-farm-family-relationships-friendships-are-essential-for-mental-wellness\/","title":{"rendered":"The Importance of Connecting with Family &#038; Friends"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>[et_pb_section fb_built=&#8221;1&#8243; admin_label=&#8221;section&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.24.2&#8243; collapsed=&#8221;off&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_row admin_label=&#8221;row&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.24.2&#8243; background_size=&#8221;initial&#8221; background_position=&#8221;top_left&#8221; background_repeat=&#8221;repeat&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;||1px|1px||&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;4_4&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; custom_padding=&#8221;|||&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; custom_padding__hover=&#8221;|||&#8221;][et_pb_text admin_label=&#8221;Text&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.0&#8243; background_size=&#8221;initial&#8221; background_position=&#8221;top_left&#8221; background_repeat=&#8221;repeat&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;]<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"YouTube video player\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/cqeYLvCpMdc?si=YB51IBSfHASjcdN_\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The summer is slipping away quickly, yet I hope that you\u2019ve carved out some time for visiting, camping, and fishing. We all are busy farmers, but deep down, there is a longing that I see from folks hoping to have a deeper sense of connection. Here\u2019s an excerpt from our book \u201cFarming\u2019s In-law Factor\u201d:<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cWhen we find ourselves amid hectic lives on farms, sometimes it\u2019s difficult to find time to connect with friends and community. If we aren\u2019t careful to nurture our relationships with others, we may find ourselves isolated, with only the support of our immediate family. Social and emotional support networks are important, particularly on farms. Friends and community are not just a nice bonus for farm families, they are essential. They serve several important roles. Friends are great for fun, relaxation, renewal, and leisure activities. They provide an excuse for much-needed breaks from farm labour. More than just a good laugh, we can share joys and frustrations with them. They are good for our sense of well-being and our frame of mind.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When we need insights, friends can give us an outside perspective on what is happening in our lives and our farms. They can act as our sounding board. Watching our friends\u2019 lives unfold helps us to see other examples of families, marriages, parenting, and farm activities. Good friends can give both positive feedback and constructive criticism when we can\u2019t see the situation clearly ourselves.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><i>What happens if you become socially isolated?<\/i>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If people become socially isolated, they may lose a sense of what the range of \u201cnormal\u201d looks like. Their world may become so small that they are unable to see the possibilities that exist, or, on the other hand, they may think their untenable situation is \u201cnormal.\u201d In several of the most conflicted farm families we have worked with, these off-farm relationships have been severed over time, and the families are left in isolation to sort through the troubles.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Community relationships can reassure us we\u2019re not alone and people care about us. They can help hold us up, both emotionally and in practical ways, when life\u2019s storms hit. In a community, the celebrations in life are sweeter and the tragedies more bearable. \u2018By reaching out to others and taking advantage of their support and friendship, you can gain strength to deal with your problems and an ability to take control of your situation.\u2019 (Danes 2010)<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Social time and being connected to the community or to the family of origin can be a life-giving factor to the daughter-in-law (DIL) or others on the farm team. Sometimes the demanding nature of farming can make it difficult for a DIL to leave to be with her family. \u2018The farming operations and related livestock and crop responsibilities made it dif\ufb01cult to visit extended family members who resided outside of the geographical area, which was particularly the case for extended maternal family members. Some farm women expressed sadness in their inability to travel great distances to see extended family members.\u2019 (Shaw 2009, 443) It\u2019s important that the rest of the farm team ensures that this visiting can happen without it being a huge burden for the DIL.\u201c<\/span><\/p>\n<p><strong>Questions for reflection:<\/strong><\/p>\n<ol>\n<li>If you were feeling worried about something, who would you call?<\/li>\n<li>If there were a tragedy, who would you call?<\/li>\n<li>If you wanted to go out for the evening, how easy would it be to find someone to hang out with?<\/li>\n<li>If you had wonderful news, who would be delighted to hear it?<\/li>\n<li>Who can you share just about anything with and not get the sense that they are judging you?<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>This summer, I will be spending time with family and friends to refresh my soul and fill my \u201ccoaching well\u201d for sound emotional strength to coach farm families in our <a href=\"http:\/\/www.elainefroese.com\/membership\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">membership site<\/a> and support our coaching team.<\/p>\n<p>I also want to encourage you to seek out resources to support your mental well-being. I have found <a href=\"http:\/\/www.bphope.com\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">www.bphope.com<\/a>, which is a great resource to support folks who struggle with bipolar depression. According to the Canadian Mental Health Association, one in five Canadians is struggling with a mental health issue. As a depression survivor, I am on a personal mission to encourage people to get medical help and treatment for depression in all of its various forms. You can find counsellors at <a href=\"https:\/\/www.betterhelp.com\/\">www.betterhelp.com<\/a> or visit the <a href=\"http:\/\/www.nfmha.ca\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">National Farmers Mental Health Alliance<\/a> website.<\/p>\n<p>My mental wellness plan for the month of July is to take a break from my professional work and focus on my family with more time for friends to visit. For me, it will be a month\u2019s sabbatical to rest, renew, swim, kayak, do watercolours, and come back full for harvest and mentoring in our coaching practice. I will likely take a social media fast as well.<\/p>\n<p>What is your plan to take time for family, friends, and community this summer?<\/p>\n<p>Did you enjoy <strong><em>The Importance of Connecting with Family &amp; Friends<\/em><\/strong><em><strong>?<\/strong><\/em>\u00a0You might want to check these articles out too:<\/p>\n<p><strong><a href=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2025\/06\/19\/farming-innovation-and-curiosity-how-to-foster-new-ideas-on-the-farm\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">New Ideas on the Farm<\/a><br \/><a href=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2025\/06\/05\/encourage-your-farm-dad\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Encouraging Farm Fathers<\/a><br \/><a href=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2025\/05\/22\/how-to-stop-putting-mom-in-the-middle-of-every-farm-family-conflict\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Mother in the Middle<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=&#8221;1&#8243; admin_label=&#8221;Section&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.24.2&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_row admin_label=&#8221;Row&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.24.2&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;4_4&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.6&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_image src=&#8221;https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/Because-I-Love-You-List-4.jpg&#8221; title_text=&#8221;Because I Love You List (4)&#8221; url=&#8221;https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/insights\/free-stuff\/because-i-love-you-list\/&#8221; url_new_window=&#8221;on&#8221; admin_label=&#8221;Image&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.0&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][\/et_pb_image][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Summer can slip by fast on the farm, but carving out time for connection is essential. This post explores why nurturing farm family relationships and friendships is crucial for mental health, emotional strength, and resilience\u2014plus tips and reflection questions to help you reconnect.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":11370,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":"<iframe title=\"YouTube video player\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/o4K6bItAbCY\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe>\r\n\r\nHarvest is in full swing on our farm, and I am not there\u2026for a few days. Where is it written you cannot leave the farm during harvest? (Almost on every page of the unpublished book \u201cThe Culture of Agriculture.\u201d)\r\n\r\nIf you are one of the 2800 folks who have stumbled upon \u201cFinding Fairness in Farm Transition\u201d on my YouTube channel at Farm Family Coach, you already know I am on a mission to change mindsets in agriculture. Fairness is helping everyone in the family be successful.\r\n<p class=\"p1\">Enter Scott Armstrong and his new workbook: <i>Mind Switch Retirement Planner<\/i>.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\r\n<img class=\"aligncenter wp-image-6952 size-large\" src=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/Untitled-design-1024x512.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1024\" height=\"512\" \/>\r\n<p class=\"p1\">Armstrong is a speaker friend who shared his insights at a national financial planner September convention in Niagara Falls, the place I also journeyed to at the start of our September harvest. He uses the word \u201cretirement\u201d, for ag folks I prefer to use the term reinvention:<\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\"><strong>Here are some things to consider as you age on your farm or ranch:<\/strong><\/p>\r\n\r\n<ol class=\"ol1\">\r\n \t<li class=\"li1\"><b>What are the current roles you want to continue?<\/b> Which ones would you like to let go of? My farmer is coughing more after cleaning bins, and I am encouraging him to quit that task at age 65, which is now.<\/li>\r\n \t<li class=\"li1\"><b>Are you still passionate about farming?<\/b> Or just parts of it? Simon Sinek says, \u201cfulfillment comes when we live our lives on purpose\u201d. What is it you are doing on your farm where you lose all track of time? This summer I think my farmer lost track of mowing fields and ditches and waiting for the grain to ripen. I love to play with my grandkids and enjoy their giggles, stories, and curiosity. Play me with them is a sweet spot and I am intentional in making time for them. I am still passionate about helping farm families make intentional choices for a better quality of life and harmony through understanding.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\r\n \t<li class=\"li1\"><b>Do your passion and purpose align with your spouse\u2019s vision<\/b>? This is where it gets messy. You want to leave the farm life roles and responsibilities, but your partner does not. Not for a long time! Where is it written you cannot pursue some things in different time zones or days apart from your spouse?<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Independence is one of my core values, yet my husband respects what I need to fill my well, and I am happy when I return to the farm from my off-farm contracts and contacts. Love and respect for the other can go both ways.<\/li>\r\n \t<li class=\"li1\"><b>Adventure is big<\/b> on Scott Armstrong\u2019s workbook list. Farmers spend a lot of money on crop protection and other inputs. Many use the points from farm credit cards to fund short-term winter adventures. One of my clients is on a motorbike in the Maritimes as I write this. (Dairy farmer). Another farmer spends time in Mexico helping the poor build houses in the winter, and he wants to do more of this. Our adventures to visit friends in New Zealand, or travel with friends to Hawaii have been great times of renewal. Perhaps there is an ag tour you have been putting off. The GREAT PAUSE showed us how isolation and lack of adventure can really cramp our style, but we now have options. The most recent adventure for folks in our circle has been electric bikes. They are great for checking fields, riding down the Turtle Mountains to Boissevain, and going for a quick spin before supper. What is the adventure you have been putting off?<\/li>\r\n \t<li class=\"li1\"><b>Vitality is an energy we all want more of.<\/b> Armstrong is convinced we are only using 50% of our body\u2019s capacity. Our wonderful physician Dr. Nell shook his finger at us 5 years ago saying \u201cLook you two it\u2019s time you started having some fun. At 75 it all starts to fall apart!\u201d<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>This year I\u2019ve shed some weight via the app \u201cNOOM\u201d and am working on a better morning fitness routine. My friend, a cattle producer at age 68 does lots of stretching and 40 minutes on her elliptical every morning. She makes time for lots of hiking adventures and ensures her body is in great form. Armstrong has a great list of sleep hacks to have more renewal time.\r\nYour body is not a machine. Save money now by paying better attention to your health and making small habit changes to be healthier. Be kind to your brain and get off your devices long before bed. This will not kill you, and your marriage may be better off for the pillow talk without blue lights flashing from your cell phone or iPad, or TV.<\/li>\r\n \t<li class=\"li1\"><b>Finances:<\/b> The number one encouragement I have is to find a good financial planner who can guide you with your income streams and personal wealth as your farm assets keep growing. CAFA which is the Canadian Association of Farm Advisors has great advisors in their directory who understand the culture of agriculture and the challenges of debt servicing and the need for personal wealth options. See <span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"http:\/\/www.cafanet.ca\"><span class=\"s1\">www.cafanet.ca<\/span><\/a>.<\/span><\/li>\r\n \t<li><strong>Living Legacy:<\/strong> What do you want people to say about you BEFORE you die?\r\nI hope you have a wonderful 80th birthday party where folks can tell you in their own words and stories about how your life really was a blessing to them. Do you want to be able to set your grandkids up for financial success? Can you help fund their RESP for trades or university training? Could you help fund the local arts and culture or sports foundation of your small town? Would you be able to secretly give a \u201cleg up\u201d to a struggling single parent? Having the time to walk alongside newcomers to your community and financial support can be a huge blessing to making your town a great place to age gracefully. We live close to one of Manitoba\u2019s most beautiful small towns. The new bakeshop owner is now making sourdough bread with wheat head designs, plus great peanut butter marshmallow slices. This news may not excite you, but it is becoming a destination attraction. Sometimes it is the \u2018little things in life\u201d that make a day sweeter.<\/li>\r\n \t<li class=\"li1\"><b>Social times<\/b>. Armstrong surprised me with his challenge to question who your friends are and why. Post-Covid relationships look different, and you may be navigating the loss of long-time or childhood friends. Intentionally make a list of the folks who align with your purpose and plans for growth. I\u2019ll still a big fan of calling my far-away friends to keep relationships growing, yet I also know having tea in person is refreshing. I suspect the guys reading this are longing for more friendships beyond the farm gate. What are you DOING about it?<\/li>\r\n<\/ol>\r\n<p class=\"p1\">Find out more about Scott Armstrong\u2019s fun, practical workbook at <span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"http:\/\/www.mindswitch.ca\"><span class=\"s1\">www.mindswitch.ca<\/span><\/a><\/span>, and reach out to the Mind Switch community on <span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/profile.php?id=100063687142266\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Facebook<\/a>.<\/span> Tell him you are working on changing the mindsets in agriculture, one family at a time.<\/p>\r\n<a href=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/insights\/free-stuff\/roles-storyboard\/\"><strong><span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\">Grab your copy of the Roles Storyboard<\/span><\/strong><\/a> to <span class=\"RFZYhc\">help you understand your 6 key roles - personal, couple, family, work (farm and off farm), friends, community.<\/span>\r\n\r\n***\r\n<p class=\"p1\">Elaine Froese is happy to be writing at 30,000 feet again. Invite her to speak at your next ag event. She has 30-plus years of practical insights for farmers to have the life they\u2019ve always wanted. One day at a time.\u00a0Visit <a href=\"http:\/\/www.elainefroese.com\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\">here <\/span><\/a>or Instagram <span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/farmfamilycoach\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">@farmfamilycoach<\/a><\/span> and hit the Linktree bio. Send cards to Box 957, Boissevain MB R0K 0E0.<\/p>\r\n<strong>Follow Elaine on Social for More Helpful Farm Family Advice!<\/strong>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/farmfamilycoach\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Facebook<\/a><\/span>\r\n<span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/farmfamilycoach\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Instagram<\/a><\/span>\r\n<span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/in\/farmfamilycoach\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">LinkedIn<\/a><\/span>\r\n<span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/elainefroese\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Twitter<\/a><\/span>\r\n<span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/c\/farmfamilycoach\/videos\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">YouTube<\/a><\/span>\r\n<span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/@farmfamilycoach\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">TikTok<\/a><\/span>\r\n\r\nDid you enjoy<em><strong> How to re-invent your farm life as you age with Mind-Switch? <\/strong><\/em>You might want to check these articles out too:\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2022\/08\/25\/your-farms-emotional-tank-needs-checking\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Your Farm\u2019s Emotional Tank Needs Checking<\/a><\/span>\r\n<span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2022\/07\/14\/you-are-not-alone-2\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">You are not alone<\/a><\/span>\r\n<span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2022\/06\/30\/how-to-love-a-farmer-2\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">How to Love a Farmer<\/a><\/span>","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[2267,70,2268,502,2266,1959,2265,2270,1863,2269],"class_list":["post-11368","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","tag-depression-in-farming","tag-elaine-froese","tag-family-time-on-the-farm","tag-farm-family-relationships","tag-farm-stress-management","tag-farm-wife-life","tag-farming-and-community","tag-farming-and-mental-wellness","tag-rural-mental-health","tag-social-support-for-farmers"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Why Farm Family Relationships &amp; Friendships Are Essential for Mental Wellness<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Discover why strong farm family relationships and friendships are vital for emotional resilience and mental health. 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