{"id":10235,"date":"2024-11-21T09:01:35","date_gmt":"2024-11-21T14:01:35","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/?p=10235"},"modified":"2024-11-21T11:02:03","modified_gmt":"2024-11-21T16:02:03","slug":"art-of-hosting","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2024\/11\/21\/art-of-hosting\/","title":{"rendered":"Art of Hosting"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>[et_pb_section fb_built=&#8221;1&#8243; admin_label=&#8221;section&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.24.2&#8243; collapsed=&#8221;off&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_row admin_label=&#8221;row&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.24.2&#8243; background_size=&#8221;initial&#8221; background_position=&#8221;top_left&#8221; background_repeat=&#8221;repeat&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;||1px|||&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;4_4&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; custom_padding=&#8221;|||&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; custom_padding__hover=&#8221;|||&#8221;][et_pb_text admin_label=&#8221;Text&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.0&#8243; background_size=&#8221;initial&#8221; background_position=&#8221;top_left&#8221; background_repeat=&#8221;repeat&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;]<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"YouTube video player\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/9lhFVVWjFu4?si=XNP6p0P55T_FFv5c\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How we gather matters. Whether it is at the kitchen table, in the office of a farm advisor or sitting down in the shop for a quick coffee break. The way in which we converse together &#8211; how we show up, how we listen and how we collaborate with others &#8211; can have a big impact on how our farms function effectively. And, if you are a leader in an operation, the way in which you show up to these gatherings and meetings <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">matters the most<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The Art of Hosting is a practical approach for bringing people together in conversation using a variety of structured gatherings, each with different goals in mind. As the <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/artofhosting.org\/what-is-aoh\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">website<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> notes, this approach is all about \u201charvesting conversations that matter.\u201d Several of the coaches on our team have taken the training to advance their facilitation skills, yet it is open and applicable to any profession. The website emphasizes how participants \u201cwalk away feeling more empowered and able to help guide the meetings and conversations they are part of move towards more effective and desirable outcomes.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">There are a few key takeaways from this training that I believe could enhance your journey in succession planning, no matter what stage you are at.<\/span><\/p>\n<ol>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><b>Be Present (Host Yourself)<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &#8211; Imagine your recent crop of canola yielded well below average and you won&#8217;t break even. To make things worse, the price has been heading lower lately and you need cash soon so you&#8217;re forced to sell. You find all of this out shortly before stepping into a meeting with your team and you are feeling on edge. Your employees pick up on this tension in you and seem to have a harder time voicing their opinions, which only irritates you more. By not giving yourself time to decompress the frustrating phone call, you show up as a leader who is distracted and ungrounded. Being present means showing up prepared and responsive, and to \u201cbe well and aligned in yourself.\u201d To get into this type of head space, you could try slowing down and asking yourself what <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">you<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> need before preparing to lead others (think of the airplane mask analogy in which you are putting on your own mask first). If you don\u2019t have a lot of time to do this, you can also create space at the beginning of a meeting for a \u201ccheck-in\u201d so that each person gets to share what is on their mind or how they are feeling that day.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><b>Use Storytelling as a Learning Tool<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &#8211; The Art of Hosting has a process called \u201cCollective Story Harvest\u201d in which participants listen to one person tell a story and each of them is tasked with \u201charvesting\u201d a different angle from it, such as a lesson learned or a principle that could apply to the rest of the group. Can you imagine how powerful this could be for founders of a farm? We often see stories come up on farms when the older generation recalls a memory, yet the younger generations do not always allow time to discover what they could take away from the stories they hear. By holding space for Mom, Dad, Grandma or Uncle &#8211; in short, this means creating an empathic, listening environment for them &#8211; you could learn something new or find inspiration that could benefit the future of the farm.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><b>Rotate Leadership with a Circle <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">&#8211; A Circle is a \u201cgroup process that supports every voice into collaborative decision-making\u201d &#8211; even if roles are already established in a company, this exercise can help the next generation to feel heard. The process often builds trust and allows space for difficult discussions. The goal of a Circle is to focus on the collective experience as opposed to someone\u2019s personal agenda. Leading the conversation rotates between circle members and responsibility for the quality of the experience is shared by everyone. In a farm setting, a circle could be used for a family or a team meeting in which each person speaks in rotation about a particular topic or theme. This summer, one of my coaching colleagues and I led a Circle on Zoom for a farm with two sons in conflict. The process gave each family member, including the daughter in-laws, the opportunity to share their thoughts on the future. Through multiple rounds of sharing, the family learned about each person\u2019s values, fears and needs as the succession plans took shape. For the remainder of the meeting, I could see a shift as everyone became more open and trusting in each other.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><b>Challenge Limiting Beliefs<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &#8211; We all get doubts in our mind, but sometimes these doubts can stem from a rotted root, a belief that stands in the way of any growth. These are called Limiting Beliefs, and can range from \u201cI\u2019m not good enough\u201d to \u201cIf I don\u2019t buy that piece of land now, the farm won\u2019t have a future.\u201d When we challenge a limiting belief, we allow ourselves to explore a different way of looking at a situation or issue. There are many tools online in addition to The Art of Hosting that can support you in wrestling with these negative thoughts, but a good place to start is simply writing down certain beliefs that you have that may be impacting your ability to feel happy or successful. Then find a trusted person to walk through those beliefs with you and to question the validity of them.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><b>Balance Chaos and Order (The Chaordic Path)<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &#8211; People, especially those who follow a leader, need a balance of structure and flexibility, direction and collaboration, rules and self-organization. Good leaders are those who can hold the tension between the two opposites so that their team can feel safe and confident enough to learn, innovate and grow. While we are all too familiar with the uncertainty that farming brings, we create order in different ways to help ourselves feel in control. Similarly, a farm\u2019s leader can remain open to creative ideas that come from allowing for dialogue in team meetings, while still maintaining his authority as the final decision-maker. In other words, everyone involved with the farm has freedom to explore new ideas while respecting the limitations of their individual roles. The Art of Hosting argues that it is through maintaining this balance between Chaos and Order that the most innovative and sustainable projects can emerge.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I hope these exercises can help you and your family as you continue your succession planning &#8211; feel free to share with us how they went for you!<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&#8211;<strong><em>Kalynn Spain<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #662d91;\">Did you enjoy <strong>Art of Hosting?<\/strong><\/span><span style=\"color: #662d91;\">\u00a0You might want to check these articles out too:<\/span><\/p>\n<p><a class=\"wp-block-latest-posts__post-title\" href=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2024\/11\/07\/how-to-talk-about-fair-family-price-for-land-and-other-farm-assets\/\">How to Talk About Fair Family Price for Land and Other Farm Assets.<\/a><br \/><a class=\"wp-block-latest-posts__post-title\" href=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2024\/10\/24\/building-effective-decision-making-systems\/\">Building Effective Decision Making Systems<\/a><br \/><a class=\"wp-block-latest-posts__post-title\" href=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2024\/10\/10\/not-talking-about-your-emotions-will-make-you-a-bad-decision-maker\/\">Not Talking About Your Emotions Will Make You a Bad Decision Maker<\/a><\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=&#8221;1&#8243; admin_label=&#8221;Section&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.24.2&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_row admin_label=&#8221;Row&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.24.2&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;4_4&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.6&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_image src=&#8221;https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/01\/Roles-Storyboard.jpg&#8221; title_text=&#8221;Roles Storyboard&#8221; url=&#8221;https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/Roles-Storyboard-Elaine-Froese.pdf&#8221; url_new_window=&#8221;on&#8221; admin_label=&#8221;Image&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.0&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][\/et_pb_image][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>In this weeks blog, Kalynn Spain, has written a powerful piece about transforming your family meetings using principles from a practice called the Art of Hosting.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":10237,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":"<iframe title=\"YouTube video player\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/o4K6bItAbCY\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe>\r\n\r\nHarvest is in full swing on our farm, and I am not there\u2026for a few days. Where is it written you cannot leave the farm during harvest? (Almost on every page of the unpublished book \u201cThe Culture of Agriculture.\u201d)\r\n\r\nIf you are one of the 2800 folks who have stumbled upon \u201cFinding Fairness in Farm Transition\u201d on my YouTube channel at Farm Family Coach, you already know I am on a mission to change mindsets in agriculture. Fairness is helping everyone in the family be successful.\r\n<p class=\"p1\">Enter Scott Armstrong and his new workbook: <i>Mind Switch Retirement Planner<\/i>.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\r\n<img class=\"aligncenter wp-image-6952 size-large\" src=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/Untitled-design-1024x512.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1024\" height=\"512\" \/>\r\n<p class=\"p1\">Armstrong is a speaker friend who shared his insights at a national financial planner September convention in Niagara Falls, the place I also journeyed to at the start of our September harvest. He uses the word \u201cretirement\u201d, for ag folks I prefer to use the term reinvention:<\/p>\r\n<p class=\"p1\"><strong>Here are some things to consider as you age on your farm or ranch:<\/strong><\/p>\r\n\r\n<ol class=\"ol1\">\r\n \t<li class=\"li1\"><b>What are the current roles you want to continue?<\/b> Which ones would you like to let go of? My farmer is coughing more after cleaning bins, and I am encouraging him to quit that task at age 65, which is now.<\/li>\r\n \t<li class=\"li1\"><b>Are you still passionate about farming?<\/b> Or just parts of it? Simon Sinek says, \u201cfulfillment comes when we live our lives on purpose\u201d. What is it you are doing on your farm where you lose all track of time? This summer I think my farmer lost track of mowing fields and ditches and waiting for the grain to ripen. I love to play with my grandkids and enjoy their giggles, stories, and curiosity. Play me with them is a sweet spot and I am intentional in making time for them. I am still passionate about helping farm families make intentional choices for a better quality of life and harmony through understanding.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\r\n \t<li class=\"li1\"><b>Do your passion and purpose align with your spouse\u2019s vision<\/b>? This is where it gets messy. You want to leave the farm life roles and responsibilities, but your partner does not. Not for a long time! Where is it written you cannot pursue some things in different time zones or days apart from your spouse?<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Independence is one of my core values, yet my husband respects what I need to fill my well, and I am happy when I return to the farm from my off-farm contracts and contacts. Love and respect for the other can go both ways.<\/li>\r\n \t<li class=\"li1\"><b>Adventure is big<\/b> on Scott Armstrong\u2019s workbook list. Farmers spend a lot of money on crop protection and other inputs. Many use the points from farm credit cards to fund short-term winter adventures. One of my clients is on a motorbike in the Maritimes as I write this. (Dairy farmer). Another farmer spends time in Mexico helping the poor build houses in the winter, and he wants to do more of this. Our adventures to visit friends in New Zealand, or travel with friends to Hawaii have been great times of renewal. Perhaps there is an ag tour you have been putting off. The GREAT PAUSE showed us how isolation and lack of adventure can really cramp our style, but we now have options. The most recent adventure for folks in our circle has been electric bikes. They are great for checking fields, riding down the Turtle Mountains to Boissevain, and going for a quick spin before supper. What is the adventure you have been putting off?<\/li>\r\n \t<li class=\"li1\"><b>Vitality is an energy we all want more of.<\/b> Armstrong is convinced we are only using 50% of our body\u2019s capacity. Our wonderful physician Dr. Nell shook his finger at us 5 years ago saying \u201cLook you two it\u2019s time you started having some fun. At 75 it all starts to fall apart!\u201d<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>This year I\u2019ve shed some weight via the app \u201cNOOM\u201d and am working on a better morning fitness routine. My friend, a cattle producer at age 68 does lots of stretching and 40 minutes on her elliptical every morning. She makes time for lots of hiking adventures and ensures her body is in great form. Armstrong has a great list of sleep hacks to have more renewal time.\r\nYour body is not a machine. Save money now by paying better attention to your health and making small habit changes to be healthier. Be kind to your brain and get off your devices long before bed. This will not kill you, and your marriage may be better off for the pillow talk without blue lights flashing from your cell phone or iPad, or TV.<\/li>\r\n \t<li class=\"li1\"><b>Finances:<\/b> The number one encouragement I have is to find a good financial planner who can guide you with your income streams and personal wealth as your farm assets keep growing. CAFA which is the Canadian Association of Farm Advisors has great advisors in their directory who understand the culture of agriculture and the challenges of debt servicing and the need for personal wealth options. See <span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"http:\/\/www.cafanet.ca\"><span class=\"s1\">www.cafanet.ca<\/span><\/a>.<\/span><\/li>\r\n \t<li><strong>Living Legacy:<\/strong> What do you want people to say about you BEFORE you die?\r\nI hope you have a wonderful 80th birthday party where folks can tell you in their own words and stories about how your life really was a blessing to them. Do you want to be able to set your grandkids up for financial success? Can you help fund their RESP for trades or university training? Could you help fund the local arts and culture or sports foundation of your small town? Would you be able to secretly give a \u201cleg up\u201d to a struggling single parent? Having the time to walk alongside newcomers to your community and financial support can be a huge blessing to making your town a great place to age gracefully. We live close to one of Manitoba\u2019s most beautiful small towns. The new bakeshop owner is now making sourdough bread with wheat head designs, plus great peanut butter marshmallow slices. This news may not excite you, but it is becoming a destination attraction. Sometimes it is the \u2018little things in life\u201d that make a day sweeter.<\/li>\r\n \t<li class=\"li1\"><b>Social times<\/b>. Armstrong surprised me with his challenge to question who your friends are and why. Post-Covid relationships look different, and you may be navigating the loss of long-time or childhood friends. Intentionally make a list of the folks who align with your purpose and plans for growth. I\u2019ll still a big fan of calling my far-away friends to keep relationships growing, yet I also know having tea in person is refreshing. I suspect the guys reading this are longing for more friendships beyond the farm gate. What are you DOING about it?<\/li>\r\n<\/ol>\r\n<p class=\"p1\">Find out more about Scott Armstrong\u2019s fun, practical workbook at <span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"http:\/\/www.mindswitch.ca\"><span class=\"s1\">www.mindswitch.ca<\/span><\/a><\/span>, and reach out to the Mind Switch community on <span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/profile.php?id=100063687142266\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Facebook<\/a>.<\/span> Tell him you are working on changing the mindsets in agriculture, one family at a time.<\/p>\r\n<a href=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/insights\/free-stuff\/roles-storyboard\/\"><strong><span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\">Grab your copy of the Roles Storyboard<\/span><\/strong><\/a> to <span class=\"RFZYhc\">help you understand your 6 key roles - personal, couple, family, work (farm and off farm), friends, community.<\/span>\r\n\r\n***\r\n<p class=\"p1\">Elaine Froese is happy to be writing at 30,000 feet again. Invite her to speak at your next ag event. She has 30-plus years of practical insights for farmers to have the life they\u2019ve always wanted. One day at a time.\u00a0Visit <a href=\"http:\/\/www.elainefroese.com\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\">here <\/span><\/a>or Instagram <span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/farmfamilycoach\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">@farmfamilycoach<\/a><\/span> and hit the Linktree bio. Send cards to Box 957, Boissevain MB R0K 0E0.<\/p>\r\n<strong>Follow Elaine on Social for More Helpful Farm Family Advice!<\/strong>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/farmfamilycoach\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Facebook<\/a><\/span>\r\n<span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/farmfamilycoach\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Instagram<\/a><\/span>\r\n<span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/in\/farmfamilycoach\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">LinkedIn<\/a><\/span>\r\n<span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/elainefroese\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Twitter<\/a><\/span>\r\n<span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/c\/farmfamilycoach\/videos\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">YouTube<\/a><\/span>\r\n<span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/@farmfamilycoach\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">TikTok<\/a><\/span>\r\n\r\nDid you enjoy<em><strong> How to re-invent your farm life as you age with Mind-Switch? <\/strong><\/em>You might want to check these articles out too:\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2022\/08\/25\/your-farms-emotional-tank-needs-checking\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Your Farm\u2019s Emotional Tank Needs Checking<\/a><\/span>\r\n<span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2022\/07\/14\/you-are-not-alone-2\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">You are not alone<\/a><\/span>\r\n<span style=\"color: #44b6ac;\"><a style=\"color: #44b6ac;\" href=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2022\/06\/30\/how-to-love-a-farmer-2\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">How to Love a Farmer<\/a><\/span>","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[297,1124,3,70,169,352,14,113,74,127,259,363,353,35,49,195,76,118,369,26,22,1832,398],"class_list":["post-10235","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","tag-agriculture","tag-coaching","tag-communication","tag-elaine-froese","tag-families","tag-family-business-meetings","tag-farm-assets","tag-farm-business","tag-farm-families","tag-farm-family","tag-farm-family-coach","tag-farm-family-coaching","tag-farm-family-discussions","tag-farm-folks","tag-farm-management","tag-farm-team","tag-farmers","tag-farming","tag-farming-business","tag-farming-family","tag-harvest","tag-iowa-farming","tag-young-farmers"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.9 - 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