{"id":10204,"date":"2024-11-12T08:55:22","date_gmt":"2024-11-12T13:55:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/?p=10204"},"modified":"2024-11-12T09:21:42","modified_gmt":"2024-11-12T14:21:42","slug":"conversation-starters-communicate-with-family","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2024\/11\/12\/conversation-starters-communicate-with-family\/","title":{"rendered":"31: Conversation Starters"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"YouTube video player\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/MlonZ6xTqcQ?si=34vsrfmZwvlOWL4Z\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<div class=\"player_container player-10204\" ><div class=\"spp_player_textabove\"><b>  <\/b><\/div><div id=\"sm2-10204\" class=\"sm2-10204 playercontent sm2-bar-ui compact flat full-width full-width-player\"><div class=\"bd sm2-main-controls\">\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"sm2-inline-element sm2-button-element\">\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"sm2-button-bd\" style=\"background: transparent url() repeat scroll 0% 0% \/ cover ;\">\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div id=\"spp-player-background\"> <\/div>\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<a href=\"#play\" class=\"sm2-inline-button play-pause\"><\/a>\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"loader\" style=\"display:none;\"><\/div>\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"eq\">\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"bar bar-1\"><\/span>\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"bar bar-2\"><\/span>\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"bar bar-3\"><\/span>\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"bar bar-4\"><\/span>\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div><div class=\"sm2-inline-element sm2-inline-status progressbar\">\t\t\t\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"sm2-button-bd\" style=\"\">\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"playerpitch0\" style=\"display:none;\">0.75x<\/div>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"playerpitch1\">1x<\/div>\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"playerpitch2\" style=\"display:none;\">1.25x<\/div>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"playerpitch3\" style=\"display:none;\">1.5x<\/div>\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"playerpitch4\" style=\"display:none;\">2x<\/div>\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"sm2-button-bd\" style=\"\">\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"secrewind\"><\/div>\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"sm2-playlist\">\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"sm2-playlist-target\"><\/div>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"sm2-progress\">\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"sm2-progress-bd\">\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"sm2-progress-track\">\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"sm2-progress-bar1\" style=\"display:none;\"><\/div>\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"sm2-progress-bar\"><\/div>\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"sm2-progress-ball\"><div class=\"icon-overlay\"><\/div><\/div>\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"sm2-row timestamp timetext\" style=\"display:none;\"><div class=\"sm2-inline-time timestamp\">0:00<\/div><div class=\"sm2-inline-duration timestamp\">...<\/div><\/div>\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"sm2-inline-element sm2-button-element sm2-volume\" style=\"1\">\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t   <div class=\"sm2-button-bd\">\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"sm2-inline-button sm2-volume-control volume-shade\"><\/span>\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<a href=\"#volume\" class=\"sm2-inline-button sm2-volume-control\" style=\"\"><\/a>\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t   <\/div>\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t  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href=\"javascript:window.open('https:\/\/traffic.libsyn.com\/56d782f0-8d4c-422c-bdaa-d2db59d90bab\/EF_-_Ep._31_Libsyn.mp3','','width=500,height=250')\">Listen in a New Window<\/a><a class=\"button-download\" target=\"_blank\" style=\"\" href=\"https:\/\/traffic.libsyn.com\/56d782f0-8d4c-422c-bdaa-d2db59d90bab\/EF_-_Ep._31_Libsyn.mp3\">Download<\/a><a class=\"button-soundcloud\" target=\"_blank\" style=\"display:none !important;\" href=\"\">SoundCloud<\/a><a class=\"button-stitcher\" target=\"_blank\" style=\"display:none !important;\" href=\"\">Stitcher<\/a><a class=\"button-sppandroid\" target=\"_blank\" style=\"display:none !important;\" href=\"\">Subscribe on Android<\/a><a class=\"button-spprss\" target=\"_blank\" style=\"display:none !important;\" href=\"\">RSS Feed<\/a><a class=\"button-spotify\" target=\"_blank\" style=\"\" href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0UCkbGF76mrbbP8UJdjP3e\">Spotify<\/a><a class=\"spp-button-custom1\" target=\"_blank\" style=\"\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/playlist?list=PLiLbc86FzxuNJEtfbGkdnyb6w4P2X6beF\">YouTube<\/a><a class=\"spp-button-custom2\" target=\"_blank\" style=\"display:none !important;\" href=\"\"><\/a><a class=\"spp-button-custom3\" target=\"_blank\" style=\"display:none !important;\" href=\"\"><\/a><a class=\"spp-button-custom4\" target=\"_blank\" style=\"display:none !important;\" href=\"\"><\/a><a class=\"spp-button-custom5\" target=\"_blank\" style=\"display:none !important;\" href=\"\"><\/a><a class=\"spp-button-custom6\" target=\"_blank\" style=\"display:none !important;\" href=\"\"><\/a><\/div><\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In this episode, my guest is a teammate, conflict transformation facilitator, organization transition coach, and dairy farm partner from Chihuahua, Mexico, <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/coaching\/coaching-team\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Crisol Gonzalez<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. Tune in to hear our discussion on how being aware of and taking personal responsibility for your role in conflict is crucial for success. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">We explore what the Karpman Drama Triangle has to do with dysfunctional dynamics to bring awareness to what roles you and your farm family members may be playing to contribute to conflict. Additionally, we discuss the work of Dr. Marshall Rosenberg and nonviolent communication, the difference between an emotion and a feeling, and a range of useful tools for conflict resolution. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When we mentioned the Karpman Drama Triangle in our membership coaching site it struck a deep chord with many of our members. Do some reflection today on your farm&#8217;s culture and how you would like to improve it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cAnd what you want [to happen] in your farm family needs to not always be that you\u2019re pointing out the bad things, but are actually doing the good things that you want. Then, the family culture starts moving in a better direction. And the people who don&#8217;t want to go in that direction are going to notice and ask \u201cDo I want to join them?\u201d, or \u201cWhat is the other option?\u201d. And I think that is a very important thing also &#8211; to be aware that in families you CAN change the culture, even if things have always been done in a specific way.\u201d <\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">&#8211; Crisol Gonzalez<\/span><\/p>\n<p><strong>Mentioned During This Episode:<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><b>Books <\/b><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.ca\/Return-Center-Strategies-Depression-Disconnection\/dp\/0981381626#:~:text=my%20nervous%20system.-,Return%20to%20Center%20explores%20the%20complexity%20of%20Polyvagal%20Theory%20and,befriend%20the%20Vagus%20Nervous%20system.\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Return To Center: Simple Strategies to Navigate Distress, Depression, and Disconnection<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> &#8211; by Patricia Morgan <\/span><\/a><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.ca\/Nonviolent-Communication-Language-Life-Changing-Relationships\/dp\/189200528X\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><i>Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life: Life-Changing Tools for Healthy Relationships <\/i>&#8211; by Dr Marshall Rosenberg<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><b>Concepts\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Karpman_drama_triangle\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Karpman Drama Triangle<\/span><\/a><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.cnvc.org\/about\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Nonviolent Communication <\/span><\/a><\/li>\n<li aria-level=\"1\"><a href=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/11\/ENG-Guide-for-Designing-Conversations-CG.pdf\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Designing Conversations Guide<\/a><\/li>\n<li aria-level=\"1\"><a href=\"https:\/\/conscious.is\/resources\/handouts\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Drama Triangle-Conscious Leadership<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><b>People<\/b><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><a href=\"https:\/\/karpmandramatriangle.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Dr. Stephen B. Karpman: Psychiatrist and Author<\/span><\/a><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.cnvc.org\/about\/marshall\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Dr. Marshall Rosenberg: Ph.D.<\/span><\/a><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.solutionsforresilience.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Patricia Morgan: Speaker, Author, and Clinical Therapist\u00a0<\/span><\/a><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><a href=\"https:\/\/brenebrown.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Brene Brown: American Academic and Podcaster<\/span><\/a><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.agdays.com\/speaker\/marsha-harris-mmft\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Marsha Harris: Marriage and Family Therapist<\/span><\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><b>Podcast Episodes<\/b><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2024\/10\/29\/getting-a-voice-to-your-needs\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Farm Family Harmony Podcast (Ep 30) \/ Getting A Voice To Your Needs with Patrica Morgan<\/span><\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><b>Blog Posts<\/b><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/2022\/09\/22\/the-power-of-a-letter-to-get-unstuck\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The Power Of A Letter To Get Unstuck: By Elaine Froese<\/span><\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><b>Other<\/b><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Inside_Out_(2015_film)\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Movie: <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Inside Out<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> (2015)<\/span><\/a><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><a href=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/coaching\/conflict-dynamics-profile\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Conflict Dynamics Profile<\/span><\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Elaine Froese Resources &amp; Links<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><a href=\"http:\/\/elainefroese.com\/speaking\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">SPEAKING &#8211; book Elaine for your next event<\/span><\/a><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><a href=\"http:\/\/elainefroese.com\/coaching\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">COACHING &#8211; find your Farm Transition Coach<\/span><\/a><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><a href=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/membership\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">MEMBERSHIP &#8211; become at Farm Family Harmony Member<\/span><\/a><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><a href=\"http:\/\/elainefroese.com\/free-planning-resources\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">RESOURCES &#8211; download for FREE\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/a><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><a href=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/contact\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">CONTACT &#8211; take the next steps in your transition<\/span><\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>About Our Guest<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><b>BIO PIC<\/b><\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-10205 alignleft\" src=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/11\/Screen-Shot-2024-11-12-at-7.12.41-PM.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"133\" height=\"133\" \/><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Chihuahua, Mexico. She strives to facilitate life-changing conversations that serve as inspiration to embrace the next steps for a farm family business. Her life experiences interacting with diverse cultures allow her to understand and work with the challenges that diversity of age, culture, and language bring to any farm or ranch.<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><a href=\"https:\/\/elainefroese.com\/coaching\/coaching-team\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Coaching Profile<\/span><\/a><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><a href=\"https:\/\/mx.linkedin.com\/in\/crisol-gonzalez-reimer-especialista-en-transformaci%C3%B3n-de-conflictos-b5691a173\/en\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">LinkedIn<\/span><\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Submit a Question<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Have a burning question you\u2019d like answered on the show by Elaine or one of her amazing coaches? Ask it\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/coachfroese.infusionsoft.app\/app\/form\/podcast-questions\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">HERE<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p><b>Share Your Thoughts<\/b><\/p>\n<p>Did you enjoy this episode of the Farm Family Harmony Podcast? Keep the conversation going by sharing your experiences and perspectives in the comments below. Your involvement is what makes this community THRIVE! Have your say \u2013 we\u2019re all ears!<\/p>\n<p>Help us grow our community by rating the show or submitting a review on\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0UCkbGF76mrbbP8UJdjP3e\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Spotify<\/a>\u00a0or\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/farm-family-harmony-podcast\/id1659119952%20\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Apple<\/a>. Sharing an episode with your community, family, and friends, or commenting on\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/farmfamilycoach\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Instagram<\/a>\u00a0is another great way to show your support!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Timestamps<\/strong><\/p>\n<p dir=\"ltr\"><span>[0:00:30]<\/span> Introduction Crisol Gonzalez<\/p>\n<p dir=\"ltr\"><span>[0:01:18]<\/span> Karpman Drama Triangle<\/p>\n<p dir=\"ltr\"><span>[0:04:23]<\/span> Who in your farm family is playing the \u2018victim\u2019 role?<\/p>\n<p dir=\"ltr\"><span>[0:06:15]<\/span> Why the \u2018villain\u2019 gets nothing accomplished in family meetings<\/p>\n<p dir=\"ltr\"><span>[0:07:37]<\/span> How to get everyone to the table<\/p>\n<p dir=\"ltr\"><span>[0:08:27]<\/span> Women are tired of being the mediator in the middle<\/p>\n<p dir=\"ltr\"><span>[0:10:55]<\/span> Getting triggered quickly<\/p>\n<p dir=\"ltr\"><span>[0:11:13]<\/span> Dr. Marshall Rosenberg and nonviolent communication<\/p>\n<p dir=\"ltr\"><span>[0:11:47]<\/span> Crisol\u2019s work in the local school system<\/p>\n<p dir=\"ltr\"><span>[0:12:36]<\/span> The difference between an \u2018emotion\u2019 and \u2018feeling\u2019<\/p>\n<p dir=\"ltr\"><span>[0:15:45]<\/span> The Conflict Dynamics Profile<\/p>\n<p dir=\"ltr\"><span>[0:17:50]<\/span> Writing it out before talking is a powerful tool<\/p>\n<p dir=\"ltr\"><span>[0:21:59]<\/span> Using voice notes if you don\u2019t like to write<\/p>\n<p dir=\"ltr\"><span>[0:22:55]<\/span> Asking permission before offering feedback<\/p>\n<p dir=\"ltr\"><span>[0:25:03]<\/span> Conflict Basics 101 and dysfunctional dynamics<\/p>\n<p dir=\"ltr\"><span>[0:28:30]<\/span> Having each other\u2019s back<\/p>\n<p dir=\"ltr\">\u00a0<span>[0:29:36]<\/span> Are farm women getting what they need?<\/p>\n<p dir=\"ltr\"><span>[0:30:34]<\/span> The Farm Family Transition Membership and breakout rooms<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Discover powerful strategies to communicate with family, navigate conflict, and foster harmony in farm transitions with Crisol Gonzalez.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":10207,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1473],"tags":[1989,1674,4,1991,1812,1990,1994,1816,1813,1993,1666,840,1973,1794,441,762,1988,79,1581,1992,1578,1722],"class_list":["post-10204","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-farm-family-harmony-podcast","tag-communication-tools","tag-conflict-management","tag-conflict-resolution","tag-conflict-transformation","tag-crisol-gonzalez","tag-dysfunctional-dynamics","tag-elaine-froese-you-said","tag-emotional-awareness","tag-emotional-intelligence","tag-family-communication","tag-family-dynamics","tag-farm-coaching","tag-farm-family-conflict","tag-farm-family-harmony","tag-farm-relationships","tag-farm-transition","tag-karpman-drama-triangle","tag-leadership","tag-marshall-rosenberg","tag-mediation","tag-nonviolent-communication","tag-women-in-agriculture"],"yoast_head":"<!-- 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