Lydia Carpenter, Author at Elaine Froese | Canada’s Farm Whisperer | Your go-to expert for farm families who want better communication and conflict resolution to secure a successful farm transition https://elainefroese.com/author/lydia-farm-family-coach/ Fri, 10 Apr 2026 19:11:04 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.9.4 https://elainefroese.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/cropped-favicon-32x32.png Lydia Carpenter, Author at Elaine Froese | Canada’s Farm Whisperer | Your go-to expert for farm families who want better communication and conflict resolution to secure a successful farm transition https://elainefroese.com/author/lydia-farm-family-coach/ 32 32 Loneliness on the Farm https://elainefroese.com/2026/04/09/loneliness-on-the-farm/ https://elainefroese.com/2026/04/09/loneliness-on-the-farm/#respond Thu, 09 Apr 2026 04:00:22 +0000 https://elainefroese.com/?p=12672 Loneliness on the farm remains a hidden challenge for many prairie farmers, even in today’s connected world. While technology and infrastructure have improved, emotional and social isolation still persist. In this blog, we revisit practical, proven ways to build connection, strengthen relationships, and create a more supported farm life.

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Loneliness on the farm is a big deal. As a northern Great Plains prairie farmer, I am interested in the history of prairie settlement. Part of that history is one of profound loneliness.

Now, in 2026, we have good roads (for the most part), vehicles that can traverse 100s and 1000s of kms, jet fuel and relatively affordable airfare, and technological connectivity that our ancestors could not have imagined.

While many of us still live miles from our nearest neighbor, experience difficult climatic conditions like cold winters in my part of Canada, we have good housing options, insulation, and heat. Winter no longer forces total isolation by creating impassable landscapes; yes, we do get storms where I have to stockpile coffee cream, but that is a measure of degree less serious than having to be totally self-sufficient in some of the most difficult climates/conditions.

Despite these rapid changes and advancements, farming and ranching still remain a relatively solitary profession. Social and emotional loneliness, caused by not having enough meaningful relationships or not having someone you can talk to about the difficult things, as well as advancing cultural loneliness due to feeling poorly understood or underappreciated as farmers and ranchers, are things to be aware of:

In 2019, Elaine wrote a blog on how to combat loneliness on the farm. This is such an important topic, and in today’s blog, we are revisiting some of those tips:

  • Barter time with your neighbours. When my son was in preschool, I had every Tuesday for errands, writing, and doing my projects while he played at his friend’s house in town. On Thursdays, the reverse happened, and his friend came to the farm. This sharing of care helped two moms build some reliable space for our priorities beyond childcare. If you are a long distance from other young moms, perhaps there is a granny my age who is willing to pitch in. You need to be courageous and ask for help.
  • Pick up the phone. Use your smartphone as a device to call a friend, not text! Adult interaction is a great gift when you haven’t had an adult conversation in days. Applications such as FaceTime, WhatsApp, or Zoom can make this a video call. Male farmers need this too, as their emotional support networks die from lack of attention. Everyone benefits when relationships stay connected.
  • Send cards of encouragement. Mark Twain said, “A person can live on a good compliment for over three months.” Don’t worry about picking out a perfect Hallmark card; you don’t have time for that, but do spend time writing out why you love your spouse and seal the letter with a kiss. If your love language is “words of affirmation,” you will love cards. If your encouragement is having your spouse clean out the pickup truck, then make that a fun project with the kids’ help.
  • Unplug from social media. You will not die if your phone is left behind in the house for two hours. Being on Instagram, TikTok, or Facebook feeds and comparing your farm life in seeding and harvest with the folks having fun on weekends is a joy stealer. Use your social media to reach out to other parents and get together for simple pleasures like wiener roasts, time at the lake, or supper on your pickup tailgate. Bring along a batch of homemade playdough. Plan to gather face-to-face.
  • Go solo if you have to. Where is it written that you are a horrible spouse if you go to a concert or on a trip by yourself? This may be very controversial for marriages that are highly enmeshed, but enjoying things or seeing new places when your spouse just wants to re-energize with alone time is not bad. It can also be very beneficial to experience a new place or culture so you can see life beyond the farm. If your spouse refuses to leave the farm for playtime or holidays, you can choose a sister, friend, or cousin to travel with you.
  • Break bread together. Having folks at my table is the best way to conquer “sorry me” feelings. When you reach out to others to invite them to share supper, you can have long, uninterrupted conversations while the kids have fun playing with Lego, or you can choose to share the conversation with all generations. Go to a potluck if you are feeling overwhelmed!

Let us know what you are doing to let go of loneliness on your farm.

Did you enjoy Loneliness on the Farm? You might want to check these articles out, too:

What Successful Family Farms Have in Common
Financial Transparency
What do you truly need for Christmas?

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Building HR Skills for a Stronger Family Business https://elainefroese.com/2025/10/23/human-resource-training-for-farm-families-why-it-matters/ https://elainefroese.com/2025/10/23/human-resource-training-for-farm-families-why-it-matters/#respond Thu, 23 Oct 2025 04:00:01 +0000 https://elainefroese.com/?p=12055 Winter on the farm offers time to reflect, rest, and invest in growth. Human Resource training for farm families can strengthen teamwork, improve retention, and reduce conflict. Learn how HR skills—from staff training to governance and mediation—can improve your family farm’s culture, communication, and long-term success.

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We are in winter prep mode. We are bringing cattle home from lease pastures and making sure everything is in place to handle a foot of snow should it come. One benefit provided by the seasonality of farming in a northern climate is the relative downtime winter provides. Winter allows for reflection time and rest. It is also a time to invest in continuing education and peer support.

Reflection, curiosity, and continuing education are a learned and intentional part of how we run our farm in southwestern Manitoba. Reflective questions help us make decisions for what we might need to change or do differently in the future – “What are the things we need to learn about and integrate to make our business and family dynamic and farm better?”

As entrepreneurs and producers, we often focus heavily on production, marketing, and finance. These are good things, and certainly play a role in some of the questions asked above. One particular area that we have been exploring more on our farm and business, and that I often encourage other entrepreneurs to invest more in via my facilitation work, is Human Resource training.

Human Resources training, or the people side of things, is particularly helpful if you have employees or are working multigenerationally. It can also help with spousal and sibling partnerships.

Here are some key areas that fall under Human Resources Management – where skills development can be as critical for your operation as your production and marketing plan:

Staff Training and Retention:
We need people to work on our farms. We require the skills and abilities to provide training and upskilling opportunities for ourselves and also for staff and the next generation. There is a huge incentive to retain key talent and skilled labour to ensure continuity and to capture intergenerational knowledge.

Staff training and retention efforts can have a significant impact on farm and ranch culture, too. Providing learning and training opportunities, seeking feedback, or simply posting a sign that says “We care” (while you also act like you care) can make a huge difference. Compensation can also be an issue impacting staff retention, so a company culture that improves profitability and reduces waste (in the form of time and material waste), and focuses on livable wages can make a big difference.

Conflict Resolution and Mediation Skill Building:
If you are looking for some skill-building that can change your workplace for the better, and help you raise your kids and get along with your spouse, you can start here. Conflict is everywhere, and it is not bad. You can be in a good conflict.

Years ago, when I started taking conflict resolution and mediation training, my ‘aha’ moment was when I realized that conflict skills are real, and unskilled or destructive conflict is preventing people from more creative forms of conflict and problem solving. A major issue in farm transitions, family business, and workplaces is unspoken and unresolved conflict.

Conflict resolution and mediation skills can also help when having difficult conversations around implementing new policies and best practices, or exploring complex or new governance and role clarity on the farm. Many institutions and organizations provide in-person and online learning. I can sit at my farm kitchen table in Manitoba and take a course from the Justice Institute of BC in Vancouver, or, I have the option of going to take an in-person course at Mediation Services in Winnipeg.

Cultural and Organizational Alignment:
What is the culture of your farm? What are your values? Knowing your culture and discussing your values can help bring you into organizational and familial alignment. Values are not prescribed, but discussed, and embraced. You have individual values and organization values. Do you value honesty, cooperation, independence, security, or is it courage, accountability, compassion, and creativity? There are many more, and there is no wrong answer here. What is important is to ensure alignment between family values and business goals.

What happens when different family members or family units in the business value different things? Perhaps exploring core values is more central, and training can give you the skills to do and lead effectively. Having a clear set of core values can help with leadership integration, next-generation transition, and founders’ exit.

Policy and Governance:
One recommendation for young farmers as you step into management and leadership on your own farm is to seek out opportunities to sit on a volunteer board and take advantage of learning about governance and policy outside the farm.

So often on the farm, the rules are not written, but held in stories, histories, and memory. It can be really helpful to explore, practice, and implement policies that clarify expectations around things like compensation, perks, and workplace accountability, and to have a more professional standard in a family-run environment where people might make assumptions about what others are supposed to be doing.

Having a space and some skills to explore policy and governance does not mean you need to take the fun out of farming, but that there is clarity around roles, responsibilities, performance, asset transfer, and transition, among other things. You might also have policies around safety and equipment use, social media, sourcing, and family member engagement.

Managing Family and Non-family Dynamics:
It is important to appreciate and navigate the complexity of relationships and family histories within a family business. This can be a difficult and ongoing challenge that requires skill building and personal and team work. Appreciating the unique dynamics between family members and employees can be key to the sustainability and future success of the farm or ranch.

If you have non-family employees who play a significant role in the current and future success of your business, it is important to have objective criteria for fair treatment of both non-family and family workers throughout the business transition. When leadership changes, it is important to communicate clearly with employees and ensure that members of the leadership team have the training to support the continuity of employee satisfaction as well as their own confidence in leading a team, whether it be family members or non-family employees.

Investing in leadership training can build additional trust among team members and also reduce destructive conflict cycles.

Did you enjoy Building HR Skills for a Stronger Family Business? You might want to check these articles out, too:

7 Ways to Streamline Your Farm Transition Process
How To Save On Your Next Accounting Bill

How to Say “Sorry” at Harvest

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Rest on the Farm https://elainefroese.com/2025/07/31/rest-on-the-farm/ https://elainefroese.com/2025/07/31/rest-on-the-farm/#respond Thu, 31 Jul 2025 16:54:28 +0000 https://elainefroese.com/?p=11440 While managing a busy cattle farm, we’ve discovered how to intentionally incorporate rest right in our own backyard. Inspired by Claudia Hammond’s, The Art of Rest, this post explores simple, research-backed ways to unwind—reading in a hammock, solitary walks, and even doing nothing at all—to support long-term health and farm sustainability.

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As is often the case, we are staying close to home this summer. We are fortunate to live in the parkland ecoregion of Manitoba. We have prairie, treed areas, and lake shores not too far from home. On our farm, we have bush quarters for walking or little campouts. The challenge, though, can often be getting away from home and business long enough to enjoy what is right around us.

While it is not easy to take a summer holiday away from a cattle farm, I have been figuring out ways to create family time and rest space really close to home, often right in my yard, somewhere in the bluff of trees between the house and the shop. I have been thinking more about this after being introduced to the book The Art of Rest: How to Find Respite in the Modern Age, a science‑based exploration into what truly helps us unwind, by Claudia Hammond. I first listened to Claudia on a podcast at a time when I was feeling pretty tired and a bit burnt out.

Fortunately, much of what she describes as restful, based on the research, are things I have access to on the farm. I do get enough sleep, so what I am working on is finding restful moments in my busy work day, where creating some space for rest can be a helpful way to strike some balance between productivity (otherwise known as working all of the time) and taking care of my well-being and the well-being of those around me, which I know will lead to better productivity and sustainability of the farm long-term and will keep me/us healthy and sane.

I will share Hammond’s list, and then some of the ways I am incorporating these into my daily routine, even when the day is full of chores and projects.

Here are the 10 most restful activities based on Hammond’s research. I will vouch for many of these, too, and write and reflect on several;

👉 Reading
👉 Spending time in nature
👉 Solitude (“I want to be alone”… yes, it is ok to want to be alone)
👉 Listening to music
👉 Doing nothing in particular (my favourite)
👉 A good walk
👉 A nice hot bath
👉 Daydreaming
👉 Watching TV
👉 Mindfulness/meditation

Reading: I like to read. I like to read in nature. I have a hammock strung up between two large poplars in a treed clearing in the yard (this is the spot between the house and the shop). The clearing is in a depression and is heavily treed, so from the hammock, you can no longer see any of the farm buildings, which is nice as it gives me the sense of “awayness.” This clearing also has a fire pit and a tire swing, and feels like camp. There are some dreams of a Ninja Slackline (checking the classifieds. We love the classifieds in Manitoba), and I am happy to create all the fun in the world in our little paradise. When it comes to reading, I am personally more of a non-fiction reader. I do like historical fiction, and remember binge reading Rohinton Mistry during one of the most relaxing summers of my life. According to Hammond, studies show that fiction is potentially more relaxing as it allows for the escapism that can help with relaxation, while non-fiction can move us to stay in our analytical brain. I still love non-fiction. (i.e, I find reading about relaxing relaxing.)

Solitude: I love people, and I love to be alone. I find the most restful times are often an evening walk alone out in the pastures. It combines spending time in nature with solitude and a bit of “do nothing in particular.”

Do nothing in particular: I love this, though at times I struggle with this one. It means there is no pressure to do anything. Doing nothing also means quieting your mind and not sitting and ruminating on what you must do, while you don’t do it. Sometimes when I am doing nothing in particular, I am still puttering about. I might bake some cookies, and then maybe I will go outside and water some flowers, bait a hook, or sort through some odds and ends for thrift store donations. I might flip through a magazine while I drink a coffee, or wander down to the shop to find that thing I thought I owned once. Regardless, there is no plan, and as far as I am concerned, I am not doing much, or worrying about what I am doing or not doing. I benefit from having family members who, while they were very good and dedicated at their jobs, provided an example of what life can be like when you allow time to “do nothing” or whitespace time. It can be helpful to reflect on family and cultural attitudes around rest, too. It can also be helpful to do this intentionally and communicate about it as a team, so you can be clear about when you are taking some rest time.

Daydreaming: Daydreaming is mind wandering; a spontaneous drift of thought. This one can be a bit tricky; mind wandering, if driven by negative thoughts and emotions, can slip us into worry or rumination. That can have a negative impact on rest and damage our mood. If daydreaming comes from positive emotions, curiosity,  interest, excitement and hope, then it can boost creativity and problem-solving and offer a mental break from routine tasks and support us in future-planning (like farm transition planning). 

The thing with rest is that we need it. It also needs to be intentional and scheduled. As I build more rest into my routine, I don’t feel compelled to get away, but I do start to get excited about reading in my hammock for an hour or planning the next hike. You heard it here first, folks, it is time to write “do nothing” on the calendar, at least for some portion of the day or week. My husband, and farming partner, likes to have this time between 6-7am. He is an early riser. In the spring-fall seasons, he goes out at around 5 am to check stock (and walks the pasture, which can also be restful) and then comes back for coffee, reading, etc. I am more of a night owl and love to watch Seinfeld reruns at 10 pm (watching TV is on the list!).

We do run a pretty busy operation. We also like our work, and do recognize that part of the reason we enjoy our farm is that we have been able to incorporate rest into our working day in a way that would not have been possible had we worked a 9-5. I can take a walk at 2 pm to check cows and incorporate many restful activities into that task. What is important is being conscious of taking in those restful moments, intentionally incorporating them, and also having a team that supports incorporating rest into our daily work. It is not “lazy” to “do nothing” and can create the space you need for creativity and joy.

Source & Resources:

Hammond, C. (2019). The Art of Rest: How to find respite in the modern age. Edinburgh, UK: Canongate.

10% Happier with Dan Harris podcast:

  • Title: If You Want To Be More Productive, You Need More Rest. Here’s How To Get It.
  • Guest: Claudia Hammond
  • Air Date: June 11, 2025
  • You can listen to it here (via iHeart)

Did you enjoy Rest on the Farm? You might want to check these articles out, too:

The Importance of Learning to Communicate on the Farm
The Importance of Connecting with Family & Friends
New Ideas on the Farm

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New Ideas on the Farm https://elainefroese.com/2025/06/19/farming-innovation-and-curiosity-how-to-foster-new-ideas-on-the-farm/ https://elainefroese.com/2025/06/19/farming-innovation-and-curiosity-how-to-foster-new-ideas-on-the-farm/#respond Thu, 19 Jun 2025 05:00:20 +0000 https://elainefroese.com/?p=11216 Curiosity and fresh ideas can fuel innovation on the farm. Learn how embracing new perspectives, peer support, and calculated risks can lead to growth and resilience in multi-generational farm families.

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On the farm or ranch, interest, curiosity, and a sense of wonder can be the catalyst for new projects and ideas and can drive us to explore new ways of doing things. A culture of curiosity and open-minded leadership can foster this in the youngest and oldest members of the farm team or family.

I have talked to many farmers who are keen to learn from others and apply their learning to their land and stock management and farm business practices. Successors and founders alike are taking courses, reading, sharing with their peers, going to events and conferences; the types of things that can contribute to farm and farmer success and wellbeing.

Here are some ideas for how to stay curious and maintain a learner’s mindset on the farm.

Engage with New Energy & New Ideas from the next gen.

People on your team, often the next generation, will come to the founders and farm partners expressing that they want to try something new or to ask questions about why things are done a certain way. The motivation might be to gain better understanding and contribute to making some shifts and improvements to human resource management or staffing, increase profitability or adding a new revenue stream, making changes to grazing or crop planning as a means to manage the resource base, working to access new markets, or wanting to apply new learning. Expressing an interest in new ideas or trying new things demonstrates a degree of leadership, enthusiasm, and interest in the work. Coming forward with new ideas can take courage, vulnerability, and trust, especially if new ideas or free thinking have not been given space or have not been received well in the past.

I often talk to the next generation of farmers who feel frustrated that there is not enough room or space to try something new. Note that it can also be the case that folks assume there is not room for new ideas, and the real issue is one of open communication rather than having an open mind. When people are faced with wanting some influence and agency to try something new, and are faced with “this is the way the grandparents always did it,” enthusiasm and creativity can be dampened. I am first generation on my farm, and while the cash flow challenges of running a start-up presented a major hurdle, the independence of getting to try things (and sometimes having them not work out) served to build my entrepreneurial skills, resilience, and creativity from a young adult age. Of course, some things have been tried before, and it can be wise to seek advice and wisdom from others via mentorship rather than having to make the same mistakes over again. It is a balance. Open communication and a culture of learning, curiosity, and leaning into wisdom, mentorship, and traditional knowledge are all very important.

Join (or Organize) a Peer Group

Over the years, I have been a part of a number of farmer-to-farmer peer support and learning groups. These have been great spaces to hear about what others are doing on the operations side of their business, and also to create space for community. Some of the peer groups I have been in have been very family-friendly, while others have been more focused on finances and production. Years ago, we hosted a series of peer group meetings in our local hall, and people would drive from hundreds of km away to join. It was a great space to come together and often share a meal. We would present topics to one another and discuss some of the finer details of managing our cattle, grain, and vegetable operations, and share and discuss other aspects of working and living where we do in Manitoba. We could ask questions, explore ideas, and redefine measures of success for our farms. Our peer groups have changed and morphed over the years, and have contributed to building a web of connections across Canada and the US.

Embrace Change

Farmers can feel significant amounts of stress when faced with change, especially when the change was not planned or foreseen. Faced with financial difficulty and uncertainty, high debt load, overwork, labour shortages, and climate variability, making small changes to a system that seems to be working relatively well can be daunting and unappetizing. Years of experience in a particular way of doing something moves us towards the “right way” and the “wrong way.” Negative emotions that come with unforeseen changes or hardship related to change can cause us to miss opportunities for positive change. On the other hand, embracing positive emotions around change, like hope, curiosity, creativity, and optimism, can create a lot of possible options that we might not otherwise see. Exploring change can foster cooperative working relationships with employees, spouses, team members, and within farm transitions, and allows us to move from zero-sum to mutually beneficial outcomes as we shift and move.

Calculate your Risk & Keep an Open Mind.

When new ideas are brought to the table, or members of the farm team go out seeking new learnings and other ways of doing and seeing things, this may be embraced or lead to tension at home. Sometimes a desire for change by one party can be interpreted as an identity issue for the other party, i.e, maybe the next generation thinks the founder was ‘incorrect’ or ‘wrong’. The culture of your farm will create the space for learners and change makers to feel comfortable, and knowing that past contributions and future learning are complementary, not adversarial, can lead you towards better outcomes in communication and team building.

Often I hear from founders that successors have not been working on the farm for 30+ years; they don’t have the experience to understand the potential outcomes and risks of specific decisions, or sometimes it is a spouse saying they do not want to start a new project or engage in major systems changes at this age and stage of life. It is important to know the “why” or interests behind our desires for change and to keep learning from one another as we adapt, shift, and transition.

Did you enjoy New Ideas on the Farm? You might want to check these articles out too:

Encouraging Farm Fathers
Mother in the Middle
Common Pitfalls in Farm Finances

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